Swearing on public transport and children

Why should you move when someone else is being antisocial? He was good to tell her. She needs to be aware other people live on this earth too.

It's appalling to speak like that, especially in front of children. I am relaxed about it generally in adult company but in a public place, it is disrespectful.

“Tell off other adults?” It’s not primary school. Have you been “told off” as an adult and didn’t like it? So you’d be fine with your little kid sitting in full earshot of that and not say a thing? Yes, I was lucky they apologised as we live in a rough area but people of any age should be pulled up on doing something unacceptable and in this example, in front of small kids. You’d really just sit there and not say a word in case you ended up “telling off an adult”? Give your head a wobble. Old or young you absolutely can pull anyone up on vile behaviour or ignore and accept it which is worse, especially for the kid. I think your respect is a bit skewed.

Swearing at someone is of course going to get their back up. But confronting someone for swearing in a communal space is also going to wind someone up,

I don’t respect people who think they can tell off other adults. You got lucky if they apologised - I have seen things get a bit nasty in that situation. Granted it wasn’t the nicest area but it wasn’t pleasant to witness.

I heard a celebrity the other day on the radio defending swearing as it being our right and ‘they’re just words’ and I thought yes, but if someone uses those words to or at you there’s very few instances where your back won’t be up! I don’t think it’s a good idea to confront someone in general though as you’re starting a confrontation, especially in front of a child. I think you can say to a child after ‘well that person’s language wasn’t great’ or something to that effect

Yes it was the little boy.
I'd been playing peek a boo with him up until then
I couldn't look at him as I would've started laughing.

Well personal attacks aside - if not interfering with people who are going about their lives legally is being an arse, then I probably am.

I would never use speakerphone in public . I do my best not to swear if there are kids about. However I recognise that adults do things that are less than ideal in the opinion of others

I do my best to keep myself to myself when out and about and I loathe confrontation but if I did something that aomeone disapproved of and they confronted me in public then I wouldn’t apologise and back down.

When DD was little I absolutely did pull people up on it on public transport. As a person who hates confrontation and was worried speaking up but also my little girl didn’t need to hear it once, never mind over and over again. Every single time they apologised and stopped. It’s not acceptable. It’s pathetic that people can’t have some decorum. But here we are now over a decade later and people have no respect for anything anymore. Even more pathetic.

This is why society has gone to the dogs, since when has it been socially acceptable to be cursing and having your phone on speaker? The only arses are you and the woman.

I don’t understand. Was it the kid that was swearing?

Last person I heard swear on the bus
It started with my god,oh goodness
To oh shit..he was about 3and mum was doing her best to distract him.

Prior to that we were playing peek.a..boo.

I made a typo but I think you knew that. It’s a public space and there will always be behaviour that others consider unacceptable.

The definition of unacceptable is different from person to person anyway. Just because you don’t like something, why do you get to tell off another adult?

Societal norms evolve, whether you like it or not. Otherwise we would all be living the same lifestyle as people hundreds of years ago.

Obviously the OP’s partner felt like the hero for confronting a woman in that situation but probably not a massive bloke.

My father told some horrible drunk men to stop swearing in front of us on a coach when we were teens. It didn’t end well. Was proud of him though!

Public transport is not a private space. But that's my point. Things that are not acceptable can not be called out because 'nobody has the right'. But why do people have 'the right' to do things not acceptable. Despite what we are told, society can not function on 'rights' alone. We have duties to behave in a societal norm, irrespective of our 'rights'. But I accept that seems such an old fashioned view.

Nobody said it was acceptable but nobody has the right to tell people not to do it in a private public place.

It's bad enough that people do this. But it's also so depressing that people think it's acceptable for someone to be swearing loudly on a speaker phone in public. But I completely accept it's common and not advisable to get involved. Angry, self centred, ignorant aggressive behaviour is the norm. But that's society nowadays, isn't it.

That is adorable.

I always take the view live and let live if at all possible. A bit of swearing never hurt anyone. I don’t do it a lot but I do swear occasionally, if someone took me to task over it, I’d be amused most probably - do parents really think their kids don’t hear or know swear words, come on.

Dh should just distract the child with something. No need to get involved unless your DC is visibly upset and can't be distracted. It's a tram ride, you're on it for what 20 minutes at most? It's not even like a long train ride or a restaurant where you've ordered a meal and will be there for a long time.

I didn't swear in front of DCs when small but wasn't bothered about them hearing the words from others in public. If they ever used those words I would treat it like any other 'bad behaviour' depending on circumstances. Just the same as when other people walked across the road without looking or waiting for the green man - it doesn't matter what someone else says or does, my DC is expected to behave according to my rules (that sounds simplistic and harsh probably but I don't think comes across that way in reality!). How is a child supposed to know what bad behaviour/ language looks like if they are literally never exposed to it?

there’s no NEED to change your travel arrangements because someone is swearing loudly - it’s a personal choice to get off the tram if you find it so offensive.

Or just carry on with your day without feeling the need to pull random women up on their behaviour.

I think it was fine for your DH to say something, personally it's generally more polite and likely to get a better response if you ask someone to stop rather than tell them. I do wonder if he would have 'told' a big 6'2 bloke to stop in the same way. An occasional swear word can just slip out, but there's no need for constantly.

I used to live nextdoor to one of those people who use fuck as an adjective, adverb, exclamative and everything else, he used it more than any other word in his (limited) vocabulary and it just made him sound like an absolute idiot. I don't think he could have stopped it if you asked him. An average sentence was along the lines of "and then I went to the fucking gym and pressed fucking 120 and was like fuck that's my fucking PB fucking smashed, Tom was like fuck mate you fucking hit that...."

People swear in public. It is up to you to handle your and your child’s reaction to it.

If behaviour is not putting others in danger then keep out of it.

If the sweary person had been a bloke who was bigger than your partner, would he still have told him off?

Many women would feel intimidated by a random bloke doing that. Or he could have been on the receiving end of much worse language.

Sorry OP but your partner is an arse.

Oh wtf 😵‍💫

So completely disrupt and have to change your own travel arrangements cos of some selfish potty mouth??

No.