Swearing on public transport and children

So what do you do when the person who is challenged simply tells you to fuck off? Or just swears more? Or follows you off the train to confront you?

Is it really worth it for something like that?

I applaud your DH for bringing it to her attention. I don't suppose anyone usually challenges her. Why should everyone else have to listen to a loud, sweary conversation? At least now she might think twice. Some people don't know how to behave in public and it's no bad thing to tell them.

The only reason you do it is that you assume it won’t escalate. I’m sure you are right in most cases.

What happens when it does though? If they had told you to fuck off, what would you have done? Presumably you had considered that before speaking?

What if they had been aggressive to you? Would it really be worth the risk that your kids would witness a confrontation like that? Do you really think the use of bad language in the vicinity is worth risking god knows what?

Using a speakerphone is extremely rude. She was bang out of order to do that, as is anyone using a speaker in a public environment.

Swearing? Get over it. Policing other people's cussing is very Primary School. He's not a prefect and your child will hear plenty of suboptimal things during childhood. The job of a parent is to manage their child's reaction.

I'm prepared to bet the house on the OP's husband not reprimanding a 6'4" brick shithouse on language. It's a lot easier to have a go at a woman.

Of course he should have said something. I was on a park and ride bus with my kids earlier this summer and there was a huge group of teenagers swearing constantly at each other. I don't even think they realised they were doing it, it's just normal language to them. Anyway I asked them nicely not to swear in front of my kids and they were actually really apologetic. I don't think it's a bad thing to hold people accountable for their behaviour, and as long as you're pleasant about it, it doesn't usually dissolve into confrontation.

People only do it because they assume the person will meekly apologise, like many have claimed on this thread.

Many people wouldn’t react as nicely. If you don’t want your kid to hear swearing then you might want to consider that some people will react aggressively (verbally or physically) to being confronted about it.

I have seen people taking it on themselves to tell someone off for swearing and then get told to ‘fuck off’. That was awkward.

And where do we draw the line? If she used racist language? Words like bitch and cunt-some people find these really offensive, some don't.

You are being incredibly disingenuous by trying to suggest this is about 'men confronting women'.

Of course you have the right to 'tell off'' another adult, male or female, if their behaviour is obnoxious.

Seriously, grow a spine.

No, kids running around being kids aren’t.
Thats good but you weren’t doing anything. Difference is the woman in the post was and she had it pointed out to her. Good job too!

Who aren’t? Most adults are fully aware of social norms (actually I say that but there is a current thread running where people think it’s okay to ignore social cues and approach strangers).

If you don’t want your kid picking up the language (assuming they notice) then deal with that as a parent.

I was told off by an arsehole in the theatre once because he thought it was me making noise during the performance. Funnily enough the one making the noise was the bloke sat next to me but of course he wouldn’t speak to him

So no, I didn’t apologise. I had a go at him and then got him thrown out.

They’re not developmentally aware of social norms. Some loudmouth swearing around kids is a twat and it’s good to hear that most agree

In your OPINION. Others may not have been bothered. But causing an irritation is not the same as breaking the law.

Or should I tackle a mother the next time I see kids running around getting underfoot and screaming? I don’t like it (despite it being legal although can be dangerous) as it’s disruptive so my opinion matters, right?

I have specifically stated that I WOULDN’T do this and it would annoy me. I hate listening to things from people’s phones.

I think tackling people on legal behaviour is pretty crass and also risky (but if you are happy to do so then that’s up to you - I would cringe internally for you but as an adult I would not mention it).

And a man telling off a woman in public can go screw themselves. Women are wary enough of men as it is and some bloke piping up could be quite intimating. Still I suppose that’s okay if the woman is ‘uncouth’.

Not everyone will accept a public reprimand happily and apologise. There are violent people with knives on our streets. Which is why I am guessing that most of the people being told off are women because they are statistically less likely to be violent

Her behaviour needed pulling up

Same. I also wonder if he would have walked up to some other bloke.

He could have distracted the child and moved on with his day.

It’s incredibly vulgar and selfish to force everyone around you to listen to your poor vocabulary. It happens all the time.

Entitlement is on the rampage.

And of course women couldn’t wear trousers or show too much skin in public. Now we have other woman complaining that others choose to wear too little or whatever

Ah yes - there was a point in many countries’ histories when pregnant women were expected not to be seen in public after a certain time. Loosening that rule probably provoked the same ‘decline in standards’ comments.

Society changes and evolves. I don’t like some things that are considered acceptable but I still defend people’s rights to do them as long as they are legal and not putting anyone else in danger.

Both examples of a decline in standards, though.

I don't think someone's clothing choice is an equivalent to someone blasting sounds into a shared space.

Cool. Got any examples of your husband telling off blokes for bad behaviour?

my husband once told off a woman who shouted the fword loudly into her phone while walking next to us with our 4 year old

I do agree with you, but find it interesting that any posts on this forum about women going out with almost their whole bare arses on display are met with comments about how it’s their right, and just look away if it offends you. TBH that offends me more than swearing, but both actions just show how low standards in public have dropped in the UK.

It's so easy and not expensive to buy an ear phone adaptor from amazon. I have one that allows it to go into the charging port. Also has another port for the charger to go in the same time. You can buy bluetooth earphones very cheap from b&m. No excuses. But I agree the manufacturers should have left them of course.

Clearly you love to swear on a phone on a speaker in public too.

Bore off with would he have spoken to a man like that. I am absolutely sick of unpolite people who do this kind of behaviour, those who also play their music at the loudest it can go with no earphones or play reels/ tiktoks with no earphones. All of this goes under crappy selfish unpolite behaviour and if you are one that panders to those behaviours, it most likely means you do it too.

If an adult needs shaming on their behaviour, then that's on them. Grow up and have awareness about the people around you.

That's why people are so uncouth and ill-mannered these days. I will do what I like and you have to suffer it attitude.