AIBU for refusing a house on a roundabout or a flat?

It would appear your husband, understandably, is needing to move quickly at this point.
The compromises he's asking you to make, you feel, are not right for you and the children. If you can afford a house, why have a flat? If you can afford a house that has parking and not on a roundabout, why have the other? He's in a hurry. He's probably just grabbing at straws and not thinking clearly about the family needs.

Autumn will start to have more choice of housing. You may not find your forever home at this point, and this may be be your compromise. But at least you won't be living somewhere you do not feel is right. You are not being unreasonable in holding out for something better.

My DD lives in a flat with 2 small kids. £200 a year friend rent, no service charge and it's own private garden.I brought up my kids in same kind of property It's the6 bottom half of a house a such. Not all flats have no outdoor space and service charges you know

You have to find a home that you are both happy with.

Parking will be essential at some point so that is a reasonable ask, and if you have a child, a garden is also sensible.

Don't rush, keep looking. Prices aren't rising at the moment, so you have a little time on your side.

I would look at a house the next 5/6 years, not forever so write your priorities list and your definitely no list - focus on what you need for your family including school choices for your eldest as it'll be here soon enough. If that's a flat with outdoor space then including those will broaden your pool to look at but personally I would try and find a house.

I would suspect your DH just wants your own space and I can't blame him but I'd draw the line at a roundabout.

Sounds like he just wants out of his mils home. Cant blame him.

Surely it can’t be hard to find a nice little house in your budget think of it as a stepping stone home not your forever home.

Because a jump from small flat to forever home is quite a large one with children unless you’re going from London flat to hours away house.

I don't think you are being picky at all. With two small kids having some sort of parking and not being in a flat are very sensible requirements. I would say some sort of garden would be important too. It's not like you are being a princess and demanding a new build with a utility room, ensuite and double garage. The things you are asking for are very practical.

He sounds desperate to move out of your parent's house.

I would hold out for a garden and a house, or you will be going through this upheaval again in a few years.

Agree that your DH is fed up with living with his in-laws. I don't blame him. I temporarily lived with in-laws whilst we moved house for a month and it was not an enjoyable experience. You and DH have been living with your parents for what sounds like 6 months. This is not fair on your DH as it is meant to be a temporary move and you turning down properties might look like you stalling on the house move. You need to be more proactive on finding a house and don't look for your forever home as you will be subconsciously rejecting a lot of perfectly nice properties.

No, you're being sensible. He's rushing and not thinking ahead.

I wouldn’t live in either of those, no. You have to be picky, it’s your future home.

How much money is he contributing? Can you move into a rental while you look to buy more time? I know if I lived with my in laws I’d be happy to live in a cardboard box on a roundabout if that was the alternative. Rent a little flat for 6 months and give yourself more time. It will take at least that long to find somewhere and get through conveyancing.

But he's not rushing when they have already been at OPs parents for 6 months with no house on the horizon. House purchases take at least 3 months and my neighbours house has taken a year to sell with no chain so I can understand the despair of OPs DH that he could potentially be living with in-laws for at least a year. And with another baby due next year there could be more delays to the move.

There is no point buying something you will be unhappy with and want to move with all the upheaval and expense that follows.

I didn’t realise the roundabout building happened anywhere other than a town near where I live. I actually couldn’t believe it when I drove past - an entire estate basically built on a literal roundabout. It’s just insanity and feels like something only the British would do. No way would anyone in their right mind choose to live on a roundabout.

Instead of looking for a "forever home" this early in your life why don't you just get your feet on the housing ladder with a nice big flat or a not so nice house?

You can move up the ladder then

I agree with everyone who says you need parking. When we started we lived in a lovely house with no parking.
Carrying two, or three or four small sleeping children, plus nappy bags, shopping etc, two hundred yards along the road from where we could park was horrendous. So was trying to keep children safe along the road while having my hands full with bags/pushchair/baby.

When my youngest was one, we moved to a house with a driveway and twenty years later I still heave a sigh of relief when I get home after a trip and only have to carry the shopping two yards to my front door. Or when I can leave the car unlocked while I pack or unpack.

OP, I think I’m living your worst nightmare, I live in a FLAT ON A roundabout 😂
My advice would be to keep looking until you find something you both genuinely love. I was close to buying something else because house hunting got so disheartening, and I’m so glad I didn’t because I love my current home.

Your husband is the kind of person who buys the houses that always make me wonder why would you buy that house there (when you can get one for virtually the same price 200m away and without the traffic, roundabout, petrol station etc).

Hmm are you putting equal amounts in? Compromise when spending a shitload of money is buying something you both like not necessarily either’s top pick. It’s not buying something the other hates.

I just googled ‘flats on roundabouts’. Bloody hell, the stuff of nightmares, I didn’t even realise it was possible. I assume you mean though OP on the side of the roundabout. Either way, no, hold out for something better.

Kudos to you for loving it! Can you easily cross the road to get to it?

My brother lived on a very busy roundabout, they had constant black dust in the house if the windows were open and the noise at night was often really bad due to the idiots speeding along with their noisy exhausts.

He said lovely house but nightmare living that close to a roundabout.

I think this can be interpreted in many different ways. Mine is genuinely lovely (in my opinion), yes there’s no parking, but all around this small roundabout there are coffee shops and vintage shops, and cars need to go really slowly. We don’t know what kind of roundabout OP is talking about.

I would consider a flat if it had an outdoor space. The city I used to live in had lots of large ground floor flats that had the sole use of the garden. Buying a flat might also get you into a nicer area in terms of school catchment areas so I wouldn’t rule it out.

I would never want to live on a busy road though, would find it too noisy and impact quality of life. So more important to me if round about is on a busy road or not.

However, unless you have endless money you will have to make some compromises somewhere.

It depend on whether you are being realistic about what your budget can buy.

If you can afford a house with off-road parking in a good location, in your chosen area/s, not on a main road/on a major junction, then YANBU.

If you can't, YABU.

FWIW, plenty of people in cities across the world raise families in flats and apartments (some are even bigger and more sensibly laid out than houses).

Make sure you ring fence your deposit if that's all you're putting down.

Sounds like maybe he's desperate to leave your mum's. But I wouldn't move into a flat to start a family and I wouldn't buy a house with no parking. You'll have to live there for a long time.

I find the ‘we sold my flat’ sentence worrying. If the flat you sold was in your name, I hope you have kept the money separate and the new place will be in your name or you manage to ring fence that money. If you buy a new property I’d go and speak to a solicitor first to protect your deposit.