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AIBU?

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Original poster

colleague has overshared and is now embarrassed

260 replies

nearlyemptynes · 27/08/2026 13:49

A colleague at work has been very down and she confided in me the reasons why which are to do with her husband and relationship. My husband and I have been out with them socially and my DH guessed what the problem is. She asked me if he knew and i said yes and explained he had guessed. She is now fuming that I didn't keep her secret as she says it is not my secret to share. I did not knowingly share- mu husband guessed. She is being v difficult with me. AIBU to be annoyed with her.

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 27/08/2026 14:25

Did you confirm with your partner that he guessed right?

DrAmanitaPhalloides · 27/08/2026 14:31

Is he secretly gay like most DH on mumsnet?
Plot twist, he's having an affair with your husband?

Megifer · 27/08/2026 14:32

Im quite surprised your DH just blurted out "is Jeans DH having an affair?" or whatever it is.

Aren't you wondering why he'd ask such an odd thing completely out the blue?

MajorProcrastination · 27/08/2026 14:34

I don't really understand what's happened here. Did you and your DH go out with her and her DH after she told you the issue? And then your DH just happened to mention to you "Beth's acting weird, do you reckon Gareth's cheating on her?" or "Luke's been a proper dick tonight, do you think he's that mean to Ceri at home?" or "Christ Paul stinks, how the hell does Nat put up with that? She must want to be as far away as possible from him". And you just stayed shtum? Or did you then go "well yeah, he's been shagging Sian from accounts" or "he's a narcissistic bully to her, she told me he..." or "Nat says he refuses to wear deodorant because of the chemicals apparently, he's gone very weird since he watched that documentary"

We don't know enough about the situation from your post to make a sound judgement.

MissFancyDay · 27/08/2026 14:35

FeliciaFancybottom · 27/08/2026 14:14

Why would you tell your husband?

Show quote history

Because we don't keep secrets from each other. Or lie by omission.

SkirtingBoardCrack · 27/08/2026 14:37

This is what white lies were invented for!!

"Does your husband know?"
"No"

OP clearly confirmed her husband's guess.

Venusmoon · 27/08/2026 14:38

If your husband guessed what the problem was, I am presuming you told him he was right. Anyone would do the same.

Dunkerquetodover · 27/08/2026 14:41

You could have just said my husband picked up on it without prompting.

Casualuser · 27/08/2026 14:41

I know loads of couples that tell their partner everything. Ive met very few people that can keep a secret. Keep your distance for a while.

SewYellowLikeButter · 27/08/2026 14:43

It was in my vows never to keep juicy gossip from him. Sorry Sandra.

Cla7 · 27/08/2026 14:43

So she told you they’re having relationship issues (that’s her ‘secret’, or an actual secret?), then you all went out, your husband said ‘looks like these two are a bit cold with each other, is their relationship on the rocks?’ And you said ‘yeah’.?

FeliciaFancybottom · 27/08/2026 14:45

MissFancyDay · 27/08/2026 14:35

Because we don't keep secrets from each other. Or lie by omission.

Show quote history

Ludicrous. If a friend or family member tells you something in confidence, do you tell him anyway?
I am seriously judging the 'I tell my husband everything' posters.

Namechangewegovyjune26 · 27/08/2026 14:45

why were you and your DH discussing their relationship, and why did he care enough to “guess”? Why did she ask you if your DH knew? All sounds very odd…

momtoboys · 27/08/2026 14:46

fumingrightnow1 · 27/08/2026 13:58

Come on he obviously didn't just guess

I think I have already guessed!

Namechangewegovyjune26 · 27/08/2026 14:46

SewYellowLikeButter · 27/08/2026 14:43

It was in my vows never to keep juicy gossip from him. Sorry Sandra.

🤣🤣🤣

it’s ridiculous “I never keep secrets from my DH” but the question is why do they need to know 🤣

Original poster
nearlyemptynes · 27/08/2026 14:48

ok so he knew she and her DH were having issues - he has met him and guessed what the issue is- yes i did confirm he was right. I shouldn't have done that I know. But TBH people on here have guessed and I haven't given any detail so...

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 27/08/2026 14:52

You might as well tell us what the secret is

Gwenhwyfar · 27/08/2026 14:54

MissFancyDay · 27/08/2026 14:00

It is unreasonable of her to expect you not to tell your husband, I would tell mine.

However I would also lie and tell her you hadn't told him 🤷

OMG. You've misunderstood the advice to not have secrets from your husband. It's about things that affect you or your relationship.
You can't share your friends' secrets!

Silvers11 · 27/08/2026 14:55

Northernparent68 · 27/08/2026 14:52

You might as well tell us what the secret is

It's already been guessed by posters above........

Dweetfidilove · 27/08/2026 14:55

Ah OP, you're in good company.
This is a place where almost no-one is capable of keeping a friend's confidence ☹️.
I wonder if your husband is her husband's lover 🤔. Probably explains how he just knew.

I can't abide people who just can't keep their gobs shut when trusted with other people's affairs.

ExtraOnions · 27/08/2026 14:55

…another Gay Husband thread. Are people on MN just incredibly unlucky, or is it some strange kink ?

Megifer · 27/08/2026 14:56

nearlyemptynes · 27/08/2026 14:48

ok so he knew she and her DH were having issues - he has met him and guessed what the issue is- yes i did confirm he was right. I shouldn't have done that I know. But TBH people on here have guessed and I haven't given any detail so...

Why on earth would you tell her he knew?

11AndCounting · 27/08/2026 14:56

Northernparent68 · 27/08/2026 14:52

You might as well tell us what the secret is

Colleague's H is gay.
OP - "Colleague and H are having some issues"
DH - "that he's gay?"
OP - "how did you know?"
DH - "its obvious"

Fin

OriginalSkang · 27/08/2026 14:57

If you confirmed then you are at fault 🤷

nam3c4ang3 · 27/08/2026 14:58

I mean - if its that obvious that your husband guessed... you shouldnt have confirmed it tho op.