AIBU to feel fed up about how much summer holidays cost?

You need better insulated water bottles / I got mine from Aldi £4/5 and kept drinks ice cold even in tenerife and left out in the sun

or freeze night before so they defrost and stay cold

Do you not find the summer fetes end up costing a load of money though?
We have gone to a few but because it's all stalls, each 50p-£1 a go, lasting literally seconds, it soon adds up. Then you have the food stalls - hot food can be avoided by taking a picnic but then it seems mean (and also a bit pointless going) if you aren't going to buy anything (whether that's the stalls or ice cream or sweets).

Also if you go to the open days do you not find they are also a bit more obvious with the donation buckets? Took mine to the fire station but firstly they were too old and not interested and then secondly everything had a very obvious bucket for donations, so activities like using the hose they were quite keen for you to pay to do.

Actually on that note the whole 'suggested donations' thing has been more common place this year at different events we have been to and lots more signs up with QR codes to donate.
So while people might suggest these are free days out they don't actually run on no money or people not spending. If people go and don't buy things then it won't happen again as stall holders realise it's not worth attending.

We used to just figure they were run for people like us who had virtually no money to spare.
At the fetes we'd watch the jugglers and local dance troupes (some better than others but all enthusiastic), clap and cheer for the waggiest tailed puppies, there was often a few "makers" showing their craft where the kids could watch and sometimes have a go for nothing. (Most popular was when they learned to bend a stick into a wand with a star at the end -aged 4!) They had competitions for little kids dancing where they all got a few sweets for taking part. Anything that needed a donation got (literally) some pennies from our change jar at home.
Food was always at home. When you've no money it sucks, but I'd rather be out and about with the kids (or on my own now retired) than looking at 4 walls.
Every summer there are 3 local fetes and 2 open days, so some different things to do at least.

DD ended up in the paper one year as she took her cousins dog to the church "fete" which won a rosette for 3rd cutest puppy in our parish... and aged 4 - she was soooooo enthusiastic about it, the reporter took her photo.

The thing is though that these things no longer run for free like you suggest. Yes you can just go and watch any of the entertainment (if they have any) but everything else now costs, and not pennies - 50p minimum for hook the duck maybe.

Also the suggested donations isn't really that....it is a payment where the people manning the activity seem to hover to check you pay. In the past it seemed a lot more optional whereas now unless you are seen to put money in the bucket or scan the app and they see you pay they won't let you do the activity. Well this is my experience anyway.

6/7 weeks to cover with ages 3 and 5 and partner WFH? Thats very difficult. It is a real skill to keep everyone (including you) happy on a budget.
I've just seen a teacher friend with DC 4+6. She's ridiculously competent but says she is only just now seeing a glimmer of hope with summer holidays.

I've been a SAHM for the last 3 summer holidays and over time I've worked out how to do it for us. I find it's a fine balance between doing too much and not doing enough. Gets easier as they gets older, and you get better at knowing what works for you. But mine are 5+9. So first year I did it they were 3+7, which is a world away from 3+5 - I'd have found those ages really hard.

Things I find that help us avoid spending £££

• Come home for lunch (hard if you have a noisy WFH-er)
• No expectation of ice creams/treats/cafe stops when out. I've played the long game with this which has paid off, I also always have treats at home - I always have tub ice cream and cones so if they want one and I don't want to pay I promise one at home.
• Planning a structure to the holidays to avoid long periods where you have to work out what to do on the fly - makes it less tempting to throw money at the problem.
• Our area has a few decent free/cheap things for the older one that last for a few hours, usually through sport activities. You may find this becomes an option in future years.
• Investing time in getting them competent and interested in riding bikes, walking etc. Now they are older it gives us so many more options for cheap adventures
• No car and live in a city - we walk and cycle to do everything so the journey is part of the activity for them, and doing basics like shopping takes long enough to count as an activity and is fun for them (obvs there are costs for bikes etc, but we use them so much they are worth it)

Well done for getting through this year. And good luck for the future, I hope it gets better.

I actually feel sorry for you OP, many will say ‘back in our day we just sat with an apple in the park all day …suck ut up etc etc’ but my DC’s are now older (14 and 11) and although it’s costing me a lot in activities I can also leave them on a laptop / baking / crafting / game / watching TV / walks etc and they are pretty much free. When they were young life (the UK) was definitely cheaper. We did all that you’re doing and I didn’t even notice it being expensive as quite frankly now everything is a rip off and overpriced. We did lots of trips and also cheap stuff like parks and libraries and museums BUT the difference being that in those times I could treat myself and my DC to at least a coffee and a cake or maybe even lunch out occasionally and it wouldn’t break the bank. So my sanity was saved and we had nice times together too. I feel now for many families this is simply not possible because prices are so high and as you rightly point out at every point there seems to be an extra cost e.g. the bouncy castle you mentioned that has not been budgeted for! So I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.

What I would say is that it does get easier as they get older because you can do more things at home with them to occupy them that are free or at least low-cost. And now for my two I tend to book them in to long-term activity camps of their choice. My eldest is on a 2 week one, it’s cost £250 but she loves it and my days are free to fit in more work etc. I appreciate you can’t as a teacher. I am self employed and here too it’s expected I do the childcare because my work is flexible etc.

i would also cut yourself some slack here, as a teacher I think there is an expectation that you will stay home and do all the childcare for several years just because you can. Many of my teacher friends have done this and I think frankly it’s sometimes driven them insane and I personally believe that paying for a few activities is actually fine. Most families need to do that over the summer both to pick them up to do Jobs and work and also just to stay sane! It’s a tall order to entertain kids all day every day for 12 full weeks + a year, and spend no money without going crazy! I’d assume now that you will need a ‘holiday pot budget’ and start saving for fun trips and things to do / activity camps as they get older if you can do.

back when mine were young I used to always aim to do one thing a day outside the house, kept me sane. Mixing up cheap / free / paid etc.

Just seen someone mention a WFH partner who is noisy? Is this the case for you OP that they need you ‘out the houses’ if so that’s insane, no way you can be out all day every day or even a lot of the day with young kids and not spend money. I’d get DH to book a week off work and do it solo and see how he feels at the end 😂

Have you considered a trip to a local beach, OP?

Just enjoy her company, why are you posting on here whilst next to her. God, no wonder kids are obsessed with screens these days 🙄

We did a mix of stuff usually-

Monday visit grandparents- free
tiesday mini golf/ice cream - approx cost £20
weds free youth club activities
thurs working/ child care - £50
fri chil day at home - free

we did do a couple full days out around £80-100 and grandparents took ds out couple times which was free (for me!) and we went away for a week. I’d say we spent around £350 including childcare (£250 without (not including holiday)

I totally sympathise, I grew up in the late 80s / 90s and there were so many kids about playing out that it was easy for my mum to expect me to go out of the house and have fun for free. We would take out bikes out for the day or walk down to the shops and the playground. Now for my 10 year old this would be his IDEAL summer holiday…playing footie / biking about with his friends with minimal adult supervision all day. But he only has one friend in our entire village who is allowed to do this…1!! The rest have to have scheduled play date type things, but are usually in kids clubs, or are abroad on holiday. Of course he is bored shiteless for most of the holidays unless we are out out doing something / I am “entertaining” him. I would have also been bored being at home on my own all day at that age.

so yeah…I am broke now after the holidays too!! We try what people on here tout as free / cheap trips but they end up costing a lot anyway when you have three kids. Going to the beach = petrol there and back (1.5 hour drive), parking (£15), then the kids spend the time begging for ice cream / slushie / body board / the football pops so they want to buy a new ball etc etc.

I think the problem is everywhere you look people are trying to sell kids stuff and it’s very very hard for the kids to walk past it and not want it, and as a parent to weather 6 weeks of constant asking for stuff without giving in. You go to a national trust place you have a membership for and theres seed to buy to feed the ducks, a gift shop you are pushed through, a cafe right as you go in, we went to one place that had giant marble runs in the woods which looked really fun and which the kids wanted to use but that was another £8 per child to buy a ball to run down it. A farm park trip that you pay an entrance fee for then has pay-for activities inside of it. We went to a trampoline park the other day which was a big expense day out for us as tickets were £17 per child…! Then the kids want a slush, so I said yes to one each, then we are asked if we want to pay extra for a fun shaped slush cup rather than the regular one, and for sweets ontop of the slush…and do we want to extend our session by 30 mins for £5 per child…and do we want to book the climbing option too now we are here as it’s half price with a bounce ticket…it’s just fucking neverending

Bringing up kids on a budget we did picnics, parks, walks, cheap kids cinema, home 'cinema' with home made 'pic'n'mix', museums and National Trust (gasp). They had friends over and went to friends in return. We had a cheap tent to go camping. They're early twenties so it's not last century stuff. I'm sure kids are happy doing kids' stuff still. The problem is some of the adults.

The king and queen are reportedly heartbroken about the unfolding tragedy in Nepal. Does anyone care what their PR machine puts out and do they not feel ashamed about all these grand words with no actions?

Hi! Teacher parent here too OP!
A colleague of mine recently said to me that if you factor in what other people have to pay for childcare over the summer holidays every day, that you dont have to you essentially start each day £40 up for each child - I think thats a healthy way to think of the crazy summer financial outlay!
Teaming up with another teacher pal with similar age kids works well.- I play date/exchange children about once a week which helps. The kids essentially feel like an extended family.
I've also done some swapsies on annual memberships with friends i.e. can I borrow your NT card if you have my english heritage card.

Agreed packed lunches are the bane of my life. I recently discovered:

1. Soup in a flask. Take bowls. Done.
2. Hot dog sausages in a flask. Take buns.
3. Pasta in a thermos.

Don't be daft.

I’m a teacher with children so I don’t like to compare as I’m very fortunate to not have to worry about childcare costs on top of everything else but what I have learned is not to go mad!

we have our main holiday which obviously costs a lot but leaves little room for much else. What I do though is lower my kids expectations - finding their own fun. I try and do a day in and day out.
Days in are lazy days with a mixture of screen time , toys and games.

Days out including visits to family, playgrounds and days out. Days out aren’t necessarily big all day trips - a few hours here and there

We do kids club at cinema -£1 films. I’ve got a year pass to our local zoo, local theme park and national trust.

More places are doing pay once and visit unlimited for a year - that’s how I do it. My theme park has a Black Friday sale - annual pass is £75 each so it’s a yearly Christmas gift that keeps on giving.

always take picnics and snacks and it makes for a cheap day out.

hope that helps.

Oh absolutely, everyone feels they’re an expert.
one thing research agrees on is increased green space, reduced screen time and sugar.

You don’t have to be perfect, a balance is enough and recognising when you need to pull up your socks as a parent and actually parent your child by saying no to screen time/sugar if you spot it’s an unhealthy amount they’re craving.

sounds like you’re doing your best. I did find it harder when younger as lots of their routine preschooler clubs stopped during holidays and I got fed up of soft play and playgrounds.

are you midlands? I read you’re far from the coast. I’m Tamworth so can recommend plenty of places we’ve enjoyed over the years.

I know you said picnics are out but have you tried little flasks? For things like pasta etc? Also, another thing I do is take them early, home by lunch. Take them after lunch. I’m not so shattered and allows me to get jobs done.

A little white lie/ saying no to ice creams and treats there is okay. ‘Mummy has left her money in the car, but we’ll have an ice cream for pudding’ and just have some in your freezer. Or give them a tiptop for lunch, go out after lunch ‘you’ve already had your ice lolly for today.’

Nearly there - and well done, you’re a great mum, you care!

@jumpinthecoolpool My local big city had loads of free classes to go to, mostly crafty but some story events too, my son had a blast, the local libraries have loads of things on, all free. Some areas have Family Hubs that do free events in the summer. Just got to look around a lot to find these things.

It’s ridiculous how much things cost. I also think the area you live in makes a huge difference. If you’re near lovely beaches / trails / parks then it’s easier to take a picnic etc. if you live somewhere rougher for example then the park is interesting to say the least. Your DP shouldn’t be making comments really if you’ve tried hard to be frugal and maybe he needs a turn at it? You go back to work.