AIBU to want more thought than just books and a card?

He's going for the safe option every year, he doesn't want to risk branching out and buying something that might not be ideal.
Next time, about a month before your birthday, have a chat with him and say you fancy a change of present. Then give him a clear list of four or five items you'd be happy to receive instead.

A romantic message in a card is lovely (I have friend whose partners literally write ‘to x’ ‘from x’ in their cards.

But books every time in a bit thoughtless and unromantic.

My lovely husband really goes to loads of effort to give me lovely gifts. He sweats over it. Quite rightly.

Men just don’t put in the effort or thought like we do. I just tell him what I want and buy it myself. I still dislike doing it that way but at least I get what I want. A thoughtful surprise that shows he listens and takes an interest every once in a while would be nice though.

Have you discussed it with him?

My dh always say ‘what do you want ?’ I come from a family whereby the buyer decides on a (hopefully) thoughtful gift, not just chooses something of a shopping list. I’ve given up now, and usually buy myself some theatre tickets, or shoes , and ask him to buy me a bunch of flowers. At least the. He actually has to go and choose something, and use his imagination.

Have a word with dh. He may assume you like to receive a book.

You mean ‘some men’…
mine is an excellent present buyer, especially for me. Much better than I am at choosing things for him.
At the end of the day you do have to decide how much it matters to you. Is it symptomatic of a wider issue that shows he doesn’t care much or is it his one weakness that you just have to live with - we all have them.

Ha ha, so he buys his own presents? This did make me laugh!

Ah, at least you like books.. But yes, something a bit more imaginative would be nice.

Not too imaginative I hope. I once received an Elvis white jumpsuit, a couple sizes too small (even if I ever (never) would wear a jumpsuit, complete with stains. I have no idea where that came from, bless him.

Sometimes books are good!