DD overdose. The system is broken? Any advice?

I’d say the exact same things, with regard to Adult Mental Health Services too! Even a social worker commented to me:

”Yes, they are tricky!”

That’s something coming from them!

DD2’s suicide attempts started in her first year at university. She was diagnosed with ADHD in her early twenties. She has engaged in over 50 incidents of suicidal behaviour - jumping on to railway tracks or overdoses! I lost count a long time ago. She’s had three short inpatient stays as a voluntary patient, and been sectioned once, in 17 years.

She did a screening test for autism last year, and scored highly but chose not to be assessed. IMO, Adult Mental Health Services diagnose ADHD or autism; but don’t know how to tailor their treatments like CBT, for people with those conditions. DBT was the most useful treatment she had.

My advice to OP is to get private treatment for her DD, if she can possibly afford it.

I have two ND children. Both likely AuDHD (one diagnosed, one awaiting diagnosis but informally diagnosed). They are very very different in a lot of ways. However, what they both have in common is that they are intelligent, very well behaved and high masking. The autism masks the ADHD by rigid compliance with rules and fear of getting into trouble. So they would never get out of a chair or run about without permission. One daydreams and gets distracted. The other gets very anxious. Both are huge overthinkers.

If they weren't either academic or well behaved I think their issues would have been picked up far earlier.

Re the special interests... only one of mine has a long term special interest. The other jumps between dofferent interests over time. I've heard AuDHD described as like a dance between the two conditions, and its certainly true for my two.

Thats a good point. My older child was way ahead of his peers for talking, sitting up, walking, fine motor control etc.

Yes, hobby ideas would be helpful here too please

Climbing or mountain biking work for some people I know

@BeethovenNinth

How is she now, OP?

Has she been able to say why she felt such despair this weekend?

OP, my younger daughter was considered to have brilliant creative play as a child - it turned out to be repetitive and based around her being in charge. I just mention this because it shows how a particular behaviour can be interpreted differently.

We had our daughter assessed by a speech and language therapist. She told me afterwards that she had never met anyone so good at masking as our daughter.

So anyway, I wouldn't compare with other children. Like you, at one point we had no point what was going on. We had to start from scratch. School kept telling me she was fine. But this was untrue.

We ended up doing speech and language, sensory integration and Ed psych assessments. The ed psych suggested she might have adhd (we had no idea) so we followed that up ( at CAMHS) and she was diagnosed. She already had the asd diagnosis.

I would suggest you apply for the Scottish disability benefit. You don't need any diagnosis. You have to score in certain categories but you may find that she does get points eg if she can't go out on her own, can't be near knives etc. You can use the payment to fund her therapy.

Someone else mentioned equine therapy - it's worth considering. Some people believe that body based therapies work better than talking therapis. Drumming is another good one. Also dance.

I’m so sorry op. From a mother who’s been there I can recommend a psychoanalytic child therapist we used. It’s so so hard just try and look after yourself too. Dm me if you want details. Sending virtual hugs.

I haven't read everyone's replies so apologies if this is repeating things.
If you haven't had one yet I suggest a sensory assesment. I see you say she doesn't have any sensitivities to lights, sound etc but she does self harm so she could be overly tolerate of stimulus. So it takes her longer to recognise when she is sad or stressed, this would explain why it seems to come out of no where.
This would mean she needs more input than average to feel better. Have a google of proprioception and high sensory tolerance see if anything fits.

Does she do (can she do) any physical movement, is she eating enough to go for fast walking etc?

I did wonder whether it was something to do with schools going back and feeling very left out, OP.

That must be difficult.

Could she have an understanding Home Tutor who would help her study towards a Higher in her favourite subject this academic year?

I assume that she has done her Nat 5 qualifications, apologies if I am mistaken.

@BeethovenNinth sorry you're going through this

Have you come across Penumbra? Charity for people who self harm

F

I think that it's worth waiting until she has the support of a Psychiatrist before creating new openings for exercising, OP.

It's just that anorexia and gyms can be a tricky mix, especially for young women.

I was wondering whether Exercise on Prescription might exist in your area.

It is something the GP would know about. He/she would suggest an option which is perfect for her.

I really really would explore ASD. And find a private psychiatrist you can discuss this and medication with. Don’t keep struggling alone. It felt like came out of nowhere when dd turned 10 …

She doesnt have to join a gym, walking is extremely good for depression, the left/right rhythm is very therapeutic. Also as someone says above drumming is well known for this

Psychiatrists will more or less focus on the medical model and wont be adept at looking holistically at the whole body.

I think it’s totally reasonable to exclude autism if you don’t think it fits. It could be she has ocd or something else. All of which needs properly assessed by a dr and I am shocked reading your posts by how little has been done to support your daughter. It is really scary to think of young people going through this, desperate for help and it made me angry when you described your GPs reaction. I’m in Edinburgh too and I have found the paediatrician etc very helpful but even with a diagnosis of a young child you are then left in your own to figure out how to support them. It can be very lonely.

Before you discount autism please have a read through this first:

autisticgirlsnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Keeping-it-all-inside.pdf

We are in Edinburgh and found Edinburgh Practice fantastic for different mental health issues. No cheap but they have a range of specialists so I am sure they can advise.

If your DD is craving to be with people, but not necessarily have teenage interactions, can I suggest that better than just going to the gym to work out, that she joins some pilates and yoga and perhaps aqua aerobics classes at your local authority's leisure centres. As she's free during the school day, she can go to classes that are populated with very friendly retired ladies who will undoubtedly be kind to her and definitely will chat with her. It might also be cheaper than joining a private gym and if they have an off-peak membership specifically for "ladies of leisure"(!) it can be even cheaper still. But that way, her week can be somewhat structured and if she's going to taught fitness classes, there'll be less opportunity for her to become obsessive with whatever (I think). I wish you, your DD, and the rest of your family all the best. It's a nightmare to navigate.

That sounds like typical AuDHD in a girl to me. Social anxiety and difficulties. Sensory issues. Obsessiveness. Anxiety. Overthinking.

Which aspect do you think is missing? My autistic kids have great eye contact. Intelligent. One is very self aware (the other isn't so much). One doing great with school and the other massive anxiety issues specifically about school.

The diagnosis matters hugely because the root cause is different.