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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

767 replies

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
SouthLondonMum22 · Today 07:24

HarshbutTrue2 · Today 06:36

I agree. If I was the parents I would have taken all of the dogs.

I have done so for various family members during the past.

However, we don't know the age of the parents, the size of their house, or the size and temperament of the dogs

Family members assumes you know the dogs though. It's very different watching a family members dog over a strangers dog, not to mention how the strange dog may behave in another strange place surrounded by strange people and strange dogs.

apigeongoescamping · Today 06:42

NSA2103 · Yesterday 23:42

This.

Vets or RSPCA are bonkers suggestions.

Not this.

HarshbutTrue2 · Today 06:36

HoraceCope · Today 04:12

I am not saying they Should

I am saying i am surprised
i think most parents would be accommodating to the op's predicament

I agree. If I was the parents I would have taken all of the dogs.

I have done so for various family members during the past.

However, we don't know the age of the parents, the size of their house, or the size and temperament of the dogs

HoraceCope · Today 04:12

shhblackbag · Yesterday 16:40

Why should they? That dog is nothing to do with them. Baffling how all of this is suddenly on OP and her family because CF neighbour couldn't take two minutes to pick up a phone.

I am not saying they Should

I am saying i am surprised
i think most parents would be accommodating to the op's predicament

FreddysFingers · Today 01:43

earlyshirley · 07/08/2026 06:45

Take him to the kennels. It’s the only option. You can’t drop him at the vets!
You will have to pay for now until she gets back to you. If she has an ounce of morals then she’ll pay you once everything is over. The kernels may be willing to take payment on her collecting.
Otherwise put a message on local Facebook pages looking for dog sitters.Again you will have to pay for now but cheaper than kennels.

Edited to say sorry, can see this had now been resolved.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · Today 01:42

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 00:28

On every single thread like this I just give up when people start suggesting stuff that’s already been resolved. My blood pressure cant really handle any more.

On a slightly unrelated note, did you know you can put more posts onto one page, thus reducing the number of pages you have to navigate?

Even just reading the OP it was obvious this would have been resolved one way or another by Friday.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 01:38

@Dizzywizz

I can tell you for the iPad and mobile, I assume desktop is broadly similar too but I don’t have the app, sorry.

Top right is a little body shape. Click that.

click ‘settings’

now on a phone it will say ‘more settings’ near the top of the screen but it doesn’t with iPad. If on mobile phone, click ‘more settings’.

click ‘talk settings’

Now you should have a whole array of stuff to fiddle with including hiding topics, watching threads, similar threads, all sorts of stuff. My ‘number of posts on a page’ allows me to choose 25, 50, 100, 500 and 1000 (but I don’t think you can choose 1000 if you made your account after a certain date).

Happy fiddling!

Dizzywizz · Today 00:59

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 00:28

On every single thread like this I just give up when people start suggesting stuff that’s already been resolved. My blood pressure cant really handle any more.

On a slightly unrelated note, did you know you can put more posts onto one page, thus reducing the number of pages you have to navigate?

How do you reduce the pages? I’m interested in that please. Loved it ages ago when you could put it all on one page!!!

SouthLondonMum22 · Today 00:55

Booboobagins · Today 00:41

OMG I cannot believe how many people think taking the dog to a rescue is the answer! She's obviously in deep grief and is not coping, do not surrender her dog. Put it in kennels.

I can't believe how many people don't read all of OP's comments.

Or that OP should pay for kennels or that kennels in the summer holidays with likely no vaccination paperwork is a simple or possible solution.

WearyAuldWumman · Today 00:47

Booboobagins · Today 00:41

OMG I cannot believe how many people think taking the dog to a rescue is the answer! She's obviously in deep grief and is not coping, do not surrender her dog. Put it in kennels.

The OP is already on holiday, thank goodness.

Booboobagins · Today 00:41

OMG I cannot believe how many people think taking the dog to a rescue is the answer! She's obviously in deep grief and is not coping, do not surrender her dog. Put it in kennels.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 00:28

Teenagerantruns · Today 00:02

I have said it before but honestly this was resolved about 20 pages ago, the dog is fine,OP is on holiday..does no one read updates

On every single thread like this I just give up when people start suggesting stuff that’s already been resolved. My blood pressure cant really handle any more.

On a slightly unrelated note, did you know you can put more posts onto one page, thus reducing the number of pages you have to navigate?

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 00:25

Larrythebloodycat · Yesterday 23:35

I'd be willing to bet that the owner will come back from 'Scotland' with a deep tan and a bottle of duty-free ouzo.

OP helped her to book her flight though, so I think the neighbour is being honest about that tbh.

Teenagerantruns · Today 00:02

I have said it before but honestly this was resolved about 20 pages ago, the dog is fine,OP is on holiday..does no one read updates

SouthLondonMum22 · Yesterday 23:50

NSA2103 · Yesterday 23:42

This.

Vets or RSPCA are bonkers suggestions.

The bonkers suggestion is kennels for reasons already stated on this thread such as it is likely full as it is the summer holidays, OP likely doesn't have the dogs vaccination history/proof of vaccination and most importantly, OP shouldn't have to pay for someone else's dog.

If you actually read the thread, you'd see that OP did take dog to the vets and it was all fine.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · Yesterday 23:49

NSA2103 · Yesterday 23:42

This.

Vets or RSPCA are bonkers suggestions.

Lol

Amybelle88 · Yesterday 23:49

Absolutely taking the piss! Losing her mum is obviously horrendous, nobody can take that away from her, but is she honestly expecting you to not go on holiday?! Rude twat.

latetothefisting · Yesterday 23:45

Spotsmum · Yesterday 18:50

This is just absurd. You're using this thread to make nasty and silly comments about dog owners -- I suppose you think because some people abuse their children, that means all parents don't care about their children? Don't be ridiculous.

What are you on about? I don't know how I could have made it more obvious that I was referring to general behaviour/attitude (people who make a big deal verbalising about loving their dogs (not sure how that's nasty or silly in case you don't think owners should love their pets?) but only criticising one specific person (OP's neighbour seeing as it apparently needs to be spelled out) for not actually following through on it the moment it becomes hard.

NSA2103 · Yesterday 23:42

earlyshirley · 07/08/2026 06:45

Take him to the kennels. It’s the only option. You can’t drop him at the vets!
You will have to pay for now until she gets back to you. If she has an ounce of morals then she’ll pay you once everything is over. The kernels may be willing to take payment on her collecting.
Otherwise put a message on local Facebook pages looking for dog sitters.Again you will have to pay for now but cheaper than kennels.

This.

Vets or RSPCA are bonkers suggestions.

Larrythebloodycat · Yesterday 23:35

Enoughofpeopleenough · 07/08/2026 13:32

It's a stretch to say she's lying that her mother died. While she's not done the right thing by the dog or OP, have a bit of compassion that she's lost her mum.

I'd be willing to bet that the owner will come back from 'Scotland' with a deep tan and a bottle of duty-free ouzo.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Yesterday 23:10

Does anyone remember the recent thread about a neighbour who asked OP to look after her cat when she was away, and OP couldn’t because she was going away herself? So she left it with two very elderly neighbours who had carers and weren’t able to do anything so the carers were feeding the cat every few days? The thread got to 1000 posts and I didnt see a follow up.

TwinklySquid · Yesterday 22:54

When I was suddenly taken into hospital while pregnant and had an emergency c-section, I was lucky my neighbour had my dog for two nights(I’d been rushed in midnight or it would only have been one night).
Within an hour of being awake- and even before I saw my daughter, I had arranged for FIL to come from up north to London for a short period and a friend from wales to have the dog long term(FIL stayed longer so wasn’t needed).

When you have pets, you can’t just abandon them even when your life is going shit. I am so grateful to my neighbour for helping. It made things so much easier. I’d never have dreamed of taking the piss. I’d have booked a kennel at the absolute worst.

TheGoldenOwl · Yesterday 22:37

latetothefisting · Yesterday 16:56

I do find it weird when dog lovers (see the most recent dog vs non dog people thread) always give it the 'the DOG is my BABY he is a member of my FAMILY I love him more than most PEOPLE,' shit. If you left your baby with a neighbour for days without contact your child would be removed and you'd likely get charged with child endangerment, either you love your pets and treat them appropriately or you don't, grief doesn't impact that.

How hard would it have been for her to ring up the kennels and give them her bank details and ask OP if she can drop the dog off?

This doesn't make sense. The people who say those things sre not likely to be the same people buggering off abandoning their dog wothout proper care......

Sereine · Yesterday 22:21

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

Why on earth should OP's parents be expected to look after a total stranger's dog?

A totally unknown dog can make a lot more bother. The poor dog would be with its second set of strangers within a few days and getting increasingly distressed. Plus, while it's relatively easy for two adults to take two dogs out for a walk, that cannot possiby be the case for three dogs. Think a bit, FFS.

shhblackbag · Yesterday 20:54

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

That's just such an entitled view.

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