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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my cleaner overstepping?

142 replies

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:02

A couple of months ago me and DH finally gave in to the various pressure of work and parenting three kids and dogs and got a cleaner. She comes for four hours per week, cleans, changes bedding and does some ironing. In many ways she’s been amazing, and does a brilliant job.

However… every time she comes she moves things… I don’t mean just tidying up I mean things like moving small items of furniture to different locations in the room, moving things like laundry bins from bedrooms to bathrooms, rearranging cupboards of personal items in bedrooms, moving the kettle/toaster/knife block/herbs and spices to the other side of the kitchen etc… it feels a bit like she thinks she knows best how to organise our home and just does it. Every week I get back from work and go around the house putting everything back where it’s meant to be. Some times it’s taken me several hours to locate items she has moved.

Is this normal? Having not had a cleaner before I don’t know whether this is usual practice - if so I think we’ll need to not have a cleaner as I’m finding it too intrusive and annoying! A couple of times I have mentioned it in a light hearted way “took me hours to find the kettle lol” and she’s just laughed it off and continued… maybe she genuinely thinks she is helping?

Would appreciate thoughts if you have a cleaner or are a cleaner! She is a really lovely woman and I don’t want to offend her.

OP posts:
Lexibletheflexible · 05/08/2026 21:06

Hahahahahahahahaha cleaner here.

Aaaassssss tempting as it is, no, one cannot typically be doing this. Hooooooowevvvveeerrrr, some clients know they need it and so are okay with it. It might even be explicitly discussed as part of why they are hiring a cleaner.

gotmyselfintoapickle · 05/08/2026 21:06

It’s not normal but even if it were, you just need to tell her not to.

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:07

Today I got back from work to find coffee/side tables and lamps are in different locations in the living room and family photos moved from mantle piece to window ledge!

OP posts:
GreenNeedle · 05/08/2026 21:07

Not normal.

Tell her specifically that you don’t want your furniture/items to be moved. She only needs to do XYZ.

You should have told her after the first instance.

But if you don’t say anything she’ll just keep on doing it.

Silverbirchleaf · 05/08/2026 21:08

No, that’s not normal. If she moves things to clean, then she should put them back.

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:08

GreenNeedle · 05/08/2026 21:07

Not normal.

Tell her specifically that you don’t want your furniture/items to be moved. She only needs to do XYZ.

You should have told her after the first instance.

But if you don’t say anything she’ll just keep on doing it.

Thank you! It just didn’t occur to us that we’d need to tell her not to move things like furniture around - rookie error maybe!

OP posts:
Lexibletheflexible · 05/08/2026 21:09

Some time recently, client was going on holiday and said they don't need me for that week. I said no, you do, because this thing needs doing that isnt really my job but hasn't been done and is decreasing all of our quality of life. She then agreed and I spent the day doing that while she was gone.

So you can have frank conversations if someone actually needs to change things.

venusFlytrapped · 05/08/2026 21:09

Good cleaners are so hard to find so normally, I would say bite your lip for the sake of the amazing help. Plus it sounds like she gets a lot done in 4 hours. However this would annoy the crap out of me! It sounds more extreme than rearranging items on a worktop and oversteps, in my opinion.
As for how you could handle it, I can only say what I would do which would be to write a message saying her work is fantastic but this issue is taking up a lot of your time. Maybe thank her for trying to keep your home organised but it's really not necessary as you're happy where things are located.
Its a bit of an awkward situation 😬

GreenNeedle · 05/08/2026 21:10

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:08

Thank you! It just didn’t occur to us that we’d need to tell her not to move things like furniture around - rookie error maybe!

To be fair, most don’t need telling, as most aren’t cheeky fucks😅

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:10

Lexibletheflexible · 05/08/2026 21:06

Hahahahahahahahaha cleaner here.

Aaaassssss tempting as it is, no, one cannot typically be doing this. Hooooooowevvvveeerrrr, some clients know they need it and so are okay with it. It might even be explicitly discussed as part of why they are hiring a cleaner.

Edited

thank you - I’m very house-proud and love interior design and making my home lovely, so I don’t think I need it and is probably why I find
it so annoying!

OP posts:
MrSchubertWhiskers · 05/08/2026 21:11

She moves your lamps?!

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:12

MrSchubertWhiskers · 05/08/2026 21:11

She moves your lamps?!

Yeah!!

OP posts:
Lexibletheflexible · 05/08/2026 21:13

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:10

thank you - I’m very house-proud and love interior design and making my home lovely, so I don’t think I need it and is probably why I find
it so annoying!

I'm thinking and rethinking to make sure you aren't one of mine! But I've never moved a lamp.

The most I'd say I've done without asking is reorganise all drawers and cupboards when there was no system at all. Literally whatever in whatever drawer or cupboard there was space. So I put pots in pans in one..plates and cups in another etc and this was on a first visit. Luckily they were fine with it. They couldn't quite believe this could be done in fact.

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

OP posts:
Ilovemyfam · 05/08/2026 21:14

It sounds weird. When I had a cleaner I had to let her go because she could not follow the instruction to stop ironing underwear and towels (easier than doing the cleaning I wanted her to).

How does she have time to move such a lot around? Is she getting through your list of tasks?

Thecatandme · 05/08/2026 21:14

My cleaner moves things a bit - nothing to the extent you are describing - and it’s the same every time so I’ve got used to it

Previous cleaners were mother and daughter.

Lovely ladies but the mother had a habit of randomly putting things in drawers - and didn’t remember which ones. I never found my favourite mug!

Pearlstillsinging · 05/08/2026 21:14

The Nursery teacher in me would be tempted to draw templates of items that she regularly moves and stick them into position where I want them to be. Otherwise you could just ask her to put things back where she finds them.

ForPinkDuck · 05/08/2026 21:17

Shes a control freak.

YouMightLikeIt · 05/08/2026 21:18

I wonder if she's a little absent minded, moves everything off all the surfaces at once to dust/clean, then is like: "oh shit, I can't remember where the candle holders and plant pots were so I'll just pop them back where ever and hope for the best!" 😂

In all seriousness, this does seem a odd, and I would also find it very intrusive.

QuaintBeaker · 05/08/2026 21:18

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

This alone would have made me fire her!

Lexibletheflexible · 05/08/2026 21:18

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

Does she at least clean them?

SafetyLady · 05/08/2026 21:19

If you want her to stop doing it you need to tell her very plainly. Don't hint, she clearly doesn't take a hint! It's not normal but perhaps she thinks she's helping.
Just tell her nicely but clearly.

Newlittlerescue · 05/08/2026 21:21

She shouldn't even be opening bedside table drawers! What an invasion of privacy.

What she is doing is not in any way normal, so you'll need a proper conversation with her I'm afraid.

Redflagsabounded · 05/08/2026 21:23

I had one once who'd carefully arrange all the toiletries, shampoo bottles etc in a line in size order. That's weird enough but actually rearranging a room/cupboards is really overstepping and not at all normal. Also a waste of cleaning time.

Tell her to please not rearrange anything but if she's got time left after cleaning could she do a 'deeper clean' item.eg wiping down skirting boards/washing the front step)wiping top of doors/descaling the shower head type thing that isn't done every week.

momager22 · 05/08/2026 21:25

Yeah that’s batshit, you need to tell her to stick to cleaning rather than interior design

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