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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my cleaner overstepping?

142 replies

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:02

A couple of months ago me and DH finally gave in to the various pressure of work and parenting three kids and dogs and got a cleaner. She comes for four hours per week, cleans, changes bedding and does some ironing. In many ways she’s been amazing, and does a brilliant job.

However… every time she comes she moves things… I don’t mean just tidying up I mean things like moving small items of furniture to different locations in the room, moving things like laundry bins from bedrooms to bathrooms, rearranging cupboards of personal items in bedrooms, moving the kettle/toaster/knife block/herbs and spices to the other side of the kitchen etc… it feels a bit like she thinks she knows best how to organise our home and just does it. Every week I get back from work and go around the house putting everything back where it’s meant to be. Some times it’s taken me several hours to locate items she has moved.

Is this normal? Having not had a cleaner before I don’t know whether this is usual practice - if so I think we’ll need to not have a cleaner as I’m finding it too intrusive and annoying! A couple of times I have mentioned it in a light hearted way “took me hours to find the kettle lol” and she’s just laughed it off and continued… maybe she genuinely thinks she is helping?

Would appreciate thoughts if you have a cleaner or are a cleaner! She is a really lovely woman and I don’t want to offend her.

OP posts:
StupidCupid50 · 06/08/2026 00:43

I used to have a cleaner do this! I’m convinced it was to show she had cleaned the kitchen, because everything had been moved. You have my sympathy!

Disappointedlama · 06/08/2026 01:08

I’ve had several cleaners and none have done this. It’s weird, invasive and a waste of cleaning time.

OneFunGreyFish · 06/08/2026 02:49

Just tell her.

Francestein · 06/08/2026 05:40

Maybe just assume she’s cleaning under and around things. Perhaps you could ask that she pop things back where they were.

PhaseFour · 06/08/2026 05:52

Lexibletheflexible · 05/08/2026 21:09

Some time recently, client was going on holiday and said they don't need me for that week. I said no, you do, because this thing needs doing that isnt really my job but hasn't been done and is decreasing all of our quality of life. She then agreed and I spent the day doing that while she was gone.

So you can have frank conversations if someone actually needs to change things.

Pleeease cn you tell us what it was?

I suppose it will be too outing, won't it? I'm intrigued though!

EvieBB · 06/08/2026 06:17

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:07

Today I got back from work to find coffee/side tables and lamps are in different locations in the living room and family photos moved from mantle piece to window ledge!

Wtaf? No. It's absolutely not normal!

EvieBB · 06/08/2026 06:23

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:08

Thank you! It just didn’t occur to us that we’d need to tell her not to move things like furniture around - rookie error maybe!

Show quote history

No, you absolutely shouldn't have had to tell her that. It should be common sense for her not to overstep like that!....but I would've told her after the first time it happened....as awkward as that would've been.
I know you tried but she laughed it off and didn't take the hint. How frustrating.
I can understand her maybe rearranging your spices or something very disorganised but to actually move furniture and picture frames is a completely overstepping and frankly very odd

EvieBB · 06/08/2026 06:28

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

Omg!!

EvieBB · 06/08/2026 06:42

Besidemyselfwithworry · 06/08/2026 00:40

To add
I work with someone quite senior who has a cleaner and she has lots of lovely clothes

her cleaner “borrowed” a dress off senior colleague our her wardrobe for a function, photographs on social media and then my colleague saw the photo

cool as a cucumber she commented on the photo, great dress I have the same one and posted a photo of herself in it! Cleaner then apparently messaged colleague and said she was really sorry but couldn’t afford a new dress and colleague said she should have asked she’d have lent it to her with pleasure but she’s broken the trust so she didn’t have her back.

😱wow - the unbelievable cheek!

eurochick · 06/08/2026 07:04

I’ve had various cleaners over 25 years and one a few years ago did this. It drove me nuts. She would do things like move a vase from a windowsill in one room to a table in another. It was on the windowsill because I wanted it on the windowsill, in my home! I let her go. It felt invasive to have someone rearranging my home, and that was not what I was paying her for.

fruitypancake · 06/08/2026 07:07

Mine used to do things like this- I always felt it was a way to prove she had cleaned that bit - e.g bins moved around she must have cleaned under and around them

Waitingforthetimetopass · 06/08/2026 07:08

I have had it where smaller items of furniture have been moved to clean behind and then the cleaner forgot where they went. That meant sometimes they went back in a different place.

muddyford · 06/08/2026 07:08

fruitypancake · 06/08/2026 07:07

Mine used to do things like this- I always felt it was a way to prove she had cleaned that bit - e.g bins moved around she must have cleaned under and around them

So did mine and that's how I interpreted it.

wishingonastar101 · 06/08/2026 07:28

90% of the time the solution to the problems on MN is... talk to them.
10% LTB.

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:35

PhaseFour · 06/08/2026 05:52

Pleeease cn you tell us what it was?

I suppose it will be too outing, won't it? I'm intrigued though!

Show quote history

Just to do with organising clothes. Everyone's clothes!

putitonthewrongway · 06/08/2026 07:38

I thought you were going to say something like she reorganizes your cupboards or throws away nearly empty toothpaste and gets rid of plants you want to rescue (my cleaner does this but she is an excellent cleaner)…but this is not usual no! I would just politely ask her not to. She sounds like a highly motivated cleaner and those are hard to come by. Is it possible you have her for too many hours and she’s looking for things to do?

deletealt734 · 06/08/2026 07:44

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

FFS!!

I clicked YABU because you haven't told her.

Really? Why would you not have told her immediately? Unplugging the clock? Absolutely nuts.

BlackRowan · 06/08/2026 07:55

Blodyneighbour · 05/08/2026 23:46

This makes me laugh a bit actually as when I used to clean I used to move things around to how I like them. Sometimes they stayed where I put them mostly but other times they were moved back to their original position and I left them as they were. But I was quite a perfectionist and maybe a bit OCD. But I feel that makes a good cleaner.
But I would always tell them that if they can't find something then just text me. And Sometimes they did and I would tell them exactly where it was.
I think if your cleaner does a good job over all then keep her. But just tell her not to move stuff.
Editing to add, I would never rearrange someone drawers and cupboards.

Edited

Sorry this is nuts. You can be allowed to move things only if the owners specifically allowed you to do that. And texting cleaner to look for something is inconvenient. You weren’t a good cleaner if you pushed your view of how things should be on your clients. You weren’t hired to organise a home or change their decor.

Sereine · 06/08/2026 08:06

While she might initially have done this to be helpful, she should have been able to work out that you didn't find it helpful when you put everything back in the original position. You need to tell her not to put everything back where she found it and not to unplug the electrics.

Angelou79 · 06/08/2026 08:09

Mine is exactly the same, every time I have to put stuff back especially soap toothpaste etc in bathroom. You’d think she’d take the hint! Occasionally it has taken months to find something. OH thinks it’s me who’s mad as I go round putting things back, but she is very good other than that so I put up with it.

Sartre · 06/08/2026 08:17

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

I can understand this somewhat, some people have a real issue with cables hanging out of walls. The rest is really weird and yes definitely overstepping, you need to mention it.

SummerSummerSummertime · 06/08/2026 08:19

CoffeeBooksRats · 05/08/2026 21:13

And every week she unplugs everything on my bedside table (clock, lamp, iPhone charger etc) and puts all the cables away in the drawer and I have to reset the time on the clock every. single. week!

Jeeesus!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/08/2026 08:27

It depends how much you want a cleaner. If she's good in every other way, and you really want a cleaner, I'd mention it in a very non critical way and then just tolerate it. Good cleaners are like gold dust. I do without one because mine have all been difficult in one way or another that I couldn't tolerate (not working their full time, being intrusive, unreliable).

TourdeCrema · 06/08/2026 08:36

I’m d tell her straight

you need to stsrt taking photographs of each room on your phone, so you know where to put everything back after you have cleaned. It’s important to us the house layout is the same after you have cleaned. Plus if you unplug the click in my bedroom to use the socket, then set the clock, alternatively use another socket as it’s frustrating having to set it up each week

maybe give her a shit sandwich- great bathroom cleaning, stop changing everything round, just clean and thanks for cleaning under everything

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 08:42

BlackRowan · 06/08/2026 07:55

Sorry this is nuts. You can be allowed to move things only if the owners specifically allowed you to do that. And texting cleaner to look for something is inconvenient. You weren’t a good cleaner if you pushed your view of how things should be on your clients. You weren’t hired to organise a home or change their decor.

Edited
Show quote history

You know, this becomes a grey area when you're the only one cleaning that house.

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