Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Furious at ds work dismissal

990 replies

OneGreyBiscuit · 03/08/2026 14:29

This is more has my 19 year old ds employers been unreasonable. He's just been sacked for being unreliable. For context - he accepted a new job about a month ago. He informed them of where he lives which is about a forty minute train journey away. He is a few minutes late everyday because of the trains and they said they were ok with it. He's just come off holiday (which he informed them of) and went back today. He was sent an email before today telling him to get an earlier train so he's on time. Fair enough, so he did and would've continued doing. At 9 he was called into a meeting to tell him his contracts been terminated for unreliability. He was only informed of getting an earlier train from today, so how can they dismiss him like this? If he continued to get the later train and continued being late then I'd understand but they've not even given him a chance. I'm absolutely furious. And to add insult to injury he still had to pay for his waste of time and money train fare this morning.

OP posts:
MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 11:41

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 11:39

Toxic workplaces and no work life balance are still going strong I see.

The weekends are a thing

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 11:43

MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 11:41

The weekends are a thing

They shouldnt be- I know if you yourself worked yourself to the bone you think this is normal, but iut really isnt. I suspect a lot of older people are just jaded and jealous younger people can stand up for themselves (within reason, OPs son should have been ocming on time- it's the gloryfying of working yourself to an early grave Im opposing).

MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 11:45

Again. There are plenty of things to do after 7pm. Also when the going gets tough you have to put an extra shift in. DS isn't soft. He's stayed later and longer. Once did a 1am.

His friend at McKinsey worked till 11pm everyday this week and even did a 1am finish.

Imdunfer · 09/08/2026 11:45

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 11:39

Toxic workplaces and no work life balance are still going strong I see.

They weren't necessarily toxic and they gave opportunities to really ambitious people.

Now it sounds as if everyone sits there defending their work life balance and then complaining that they never get to earn a really high salary.

MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 11:51

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 11:43

They shouldnt be- I know if you yourself worked yourself to the bone you think this is normal, but iut really isnt. I suspect a lot of older people are just jaded and jealous younger people can stand up for themselves (within reason, OPs son should have been ocming on time- it's the gloryfying of working yourself to an early grave Im opposing).

DS is fine. He usually works 9-5 but on occasion he'll work later. If work needs to get done and the client has deadlines they put a shift to get things done.

My DH works incredibly long hours as a big 4 director. Often taking calls on weekends and on annual leave. But as the man in charge, it's expected and there's a reason he's paid a lot. Guess some people are tough and can handle it when the going gets tough and don't just shut their laptops at 5pm.

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 12:07

Ladyfromthehill · 09/08/2026 11:43

They shouldnt be- I know if you yourself worked yourself to the bone you think this is normal, but iut really isnt. I suspect a lot of older people are just jaded and jealous younger people can stand up for themselves (within reason, OPs son should have been ocming on time- it's the gloryfying of working yourself to an early grave Im opposing).

Not remotely jealous - it’s why many places don’t like to employ younger staff. It’s a win/win

If the thought of working outside contracted hours upsets someone then they should work in a field that has no requirement for it.

A friend of mine works in a law firm and their entire team had to work literally every hour over evenings and weekends coming up to a stamp duty change.

Of course they could risk telling their clients it was tough shit and that, despite the hundreds of thousands of fees that kept the company going, they couldn’t get it all done within contracted hours…

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 12:10

Imdunfer · 09/08/2026 11:45

They weren't necessarily toxic and they gave opportunities to really ambitious people.

Now it sounds as if everyone sits there defending their work life balance and then complaining that they never get to earn a really high salary.

That is basically what happens… it’s ridiculous. They don’t get why someone who was prepared to put themselves out time and again will be promoted!

We all want work life balance but employers want staff that are worth it to their company. In my experience, those who are flexible and reliable get further than those who aren’t.

OonaStubbs · 09/08/2026 12:25

An employer who expects an employee to start on time and get their work done does not equal "a toxic workplace".

MummyNJ · 09/08/2026 17:29

So let me get this straight , your adult son could easily have gotten an earlier train to ensure his on time arrival at work but instead got a later train which consistently made him late ? And you are fuming because they dismissed him for consistently being late when all of the transport availability for him to be on time was there all along ? Erm I’m sorry but make this make sense! Your son is old enough and capable enough to get to work on time and if he can’t manage to schedule his transport and timely arrival the same as all his colleagues do then I’m not surprised his employment has been terminated. In the current job market you need to show commitment, honesty and respect and the ability to problem solve as the basics, the fact your son didn’t get the earlier available train that would get him to work on time shows that he lacks these skills and you are probably not helping him by not pointing out he only has himself to blame. The there there cream isn’t going to fix this for mummy’s little soldier unfortunately, he needs to learn from this mistake and pull his finger out / get up and get to work on time for his next job. My eldest has worked since she turned 17 and as soon as she could she learned to drive so she could get herself to work and back, before she could drive we used to drop her in when we could but if we couldn’t she walked or got other forms of transport.

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:18

Donsyb · 08/08/2026 17:05

Actually that depends where you work. I made a conscious decision a few years ago (when menopause hit) to take a step back, and now have a job which is 9-5, Monday to Friday and reasonably well paid.

Good move, unless you have preference shares in the company it is very unlikely that breaking your mind and body for them over a period of years will have much benefit for you in the long run, many young people know this but they just don"t understand how to play the game and present properly, the key is to go part time and have other income ASAP, unless the company really aligns with big life goals you have for yourself.

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:25

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:18

Good move, unless you have preference shares in the company it is very unlikely that breaking your mind and body for them over a period of years will have much benefit for you in the long run, many young people know this but they just don"t understand how to play the game and present properly, the key is to go part time and have other income ASAP, unless the company really aligns with big life goals you have for yourself.

It depends whether you like your job and/or whether you want to progress though. I have been given my dream role through impressing the right people. In a lot of industries, part time staff aren’t taken as seriously.

Health conditions aside, I would hate to be part time but of course everyone is different. I have the best job in the world so I hate the idea.

I also want to prove the point that menopause doesn’t necessarily equal being unable to function in a role.

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:28

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:18

Good move, unless you have preference shares in the company it is very unlikely that breaking your mind and body for them over a period of years will have much benefit for you in the long run, many young people know this but they just don"t understand how to play the game and present properly, the key is to go part time and have other income ASAP, unless the company really aligns with big life goals you have for yourself.

How many jobs ‘break your mind and body’ though?

I agree young people are not savvy enough to know that they have to prove themselves to be decent workers before they can start playing up about reasonable demands.

duckbeak · 09/08/2026 18:31

Hoardasurass · 03/08/2026 14:43

Acas wont be able to help as he hasn't worked there for 2+ years and continually being late is unacceptable.
Also at19 he shouldn't need to be told to get an earlier train he should have known himself after being late the 1st time.
@OneGreyBiscuit do your son a favour and tell him to make sure hes on time for his next job and don't try and sugar coat this sacking as its entirely his own fault

ACAS most definitely can help

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:37

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:28

How many jobs ‘break your mind and body’ though?

I agree young people are not savvy enough to know that they have to prove themselves to be decent workers before they can start playing up about reasonable demands.

The commute breaks many people, they are not going to run around screaming and get sectioned but something quietly dies inside at the futility of it all, for example this young gentleman was obviously so heavily traumatised by his excruciating 40 minute train ride every day that he was subconsciously making himself late as a way out.

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:38

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:28

How many jobs ‘break your mind and body’ though?

I agree young people are not savvy enough to know that they have to prove themselves to be decent workers before they can start playing up about reasonable demands.

Basically any job that involved dealing with the general public would break me quicker than you could say "Is there an app for that?"

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:39

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:37

The commute breaks many people, they are not going to run around screaming and get sectioned but something quietly dies inside at the futility of it all, for example this young gentleman was obviously so heavily traumatised by his excruciating 40 minute train ride every day that he was subconsciously making himself late as a way out.

I’m really hoping you are being sarcastic.

If you are too delicate to do the commute then don’t take the job.

MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 18:45

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:38

Basically any job that involved dealing with the general public would break me quicker than you could say "Is there an app for that?"

Work in an office then. Also work on your communication

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 18:47

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:39

I’m really hoping you are being sarcastic.

If you are too delicate to do the commute then don’t take the job.

I started off serious, many mundane and boring jobs with a long attached commutes do damage people mentally and emotionally over the years IMO, probably not as much as being on benefits and smoking weed though, but it veered into comedy for some reason, probably too much coffee.

NDFB · 09/08/2026 19:48

OneGreyBiscuit · 03/08/2026 14:29

This is more has my 19 year old ds employers been unreasonable. He's just been sacked for being unreliable. For context - he accepted a new job about a month ago. He informed them of where he lives which is about a forty minute train journey away. He is a few minutes late everyday because of the trains and they said they were ok with it. He's just come off holiday (which he informed them of) and went back today. He was sent an email before today telling him to get an earlier train so he's on time. Fair enough, so he did and would've continued doing. At 9 he was called into a meeting to tell him his contracts been terminated for unreliability. He was only informed of getting an earlier train from today, so how can they dismiss him like this? If he continued to get the later train and continued being late then I'd understand but they've not even given him a chance. I'm absolutely furious. And to add insult to injury he still had to pay for his waste of time and money train fare this morning.

OP you are hilarious. Your son is late every day. Durrr.

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 20:42

He needs to find a job where you can just turn up when you want, window cleaner maybe?

Donsyb · 09/08/2026 20:45

Anarchy99 · 09/08/2026 18:28

How many jobs ‘break your mind and body’ though?

I agree young people are not savvy enough to know that they have to prove themselves to be decent workers before they can start playing up about reasonable demands.

I had a job that nearly gave me a nervous breakdown due to pressure and stress. When menopause hit I just decided I’d had enough and didn’t need that shit any more.

MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 20:59

Donsyb · 09/08/2026 20:45

I had a job that nearly gave me a nervous breakdown due to pressure and stress. When menopause hit I just decided I’d had enough and didn’t need that shit any more.

Then leave the job

Donsyb · 09/08/2026 21:58

MonaLisa3847 · 09/08/2026 20:59

Then leave the job

Um - I did! That was the whole point of my post 😂

Hoardasurass · 09/08/2026 23:36

duckbeak · 09/08/2026 18:31

ACAS most definitely can help

How he failed his probation for cause ie he couldn't be bothered turning up on time.
There's literally nothing acas can do

KeepPumping · 09/08/2026 23:49

Hoardasurass · 09/08/2026 23:36

How he failed his probation for cause ie he couldn't be bothered turning up on time.
There's literally nothing acas can do

ACAS, LOL.
I was late every day and my employer sacked me, my employer is in the wrong.

That sentence sums up everything that is wrong in the present culture - Whatever I did, someone else is responsible.