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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not make my son share?

713 replies

drearyllama · 11/06/2026 17:14

I took my 3½-year-old to a toddler swim session today where they put loads of toys and floats out. We arrived at the start of the session and he chose 2 buckets, a watering can, a few small toys and a float, then we went to the opposite end of the pool away from everyone else because he prefers independent play.

He played happily with those same toys for around 45 minutes. Another family then arrived and came to our end of the pool. Their older child repeatedly tried to take the watering can from my son, but he said, "No thank you, I'm playing," and held onto it. The child's adult moved him away the first time.

About 10 minutes later it happened again, but this time one of the adults came over and, while I was sitting right next to my son, told him that he had to share because he had two buckets. He again said,
"No thank you, I'm playing," but she took one of the buckets anyway and handed it to her child, saying,
"See, you have one now."

My little boy was upset because he'd been playing with those toys for nearly an hour. I didn't want to argue in front of the children, so I just reassured him and left it.

About 10-15 minutes later, the little boy came back again and tried to take another toy. This time my son shouted "No!" The lady came over, collected her child and said to the other adult, "Shall we get out?" The other lady replied, "Yes, because he's not sharing and she's not making him share."

We absolutely teach our children to share, but our rule is that if they're still actively playing with something, they can finish their turn first. Once they're done, sharing is expected. I also feel that if another parent had an issue, they should speak to me rather than taking something from my child.

I'm genuinely interested to know what others think.
Would you have said something, or would you have left it?

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 11/07/2026 17:08

Come on OP, they weren’t his toys, they were everyone’s ffs. He didn’t need that many toys and the child was playing nearby so would naturally notice the toys close to him. The other child was likely trying to initiate interaction too which you could have encouraged.

Maray1967 · 31/08/2026 07:40

concertinacornflake · 11/06/2026 17:21

Both sides at fault here.

He should be expected to share toys that are not his own, by taking reasonable length turns.
An adult should not have removed the toy from him but should have discussed properly with you the parent (as your parenting was the issue).

Basically two wrongs don't make right - you were wrong, then she was wrong.

Edited

Yes. Your DC was hogging too many toys for too long. If there aren’t more to go round then it isn’t fair that your child had three items that he can fill and pour from.

Greenmouldycheese · 01/09/2026 20:46

You should be teaching your kid how to share. It sounds like he had alot of toys around him while this other child had very few. How if your child going to manage in nursery when hes hogging the toys from other children? Please do better.

pestowithwalnuts · 01/09/2026 20:50

Why don't you teach him to share Do you want him to grow an entitled selfish kid ,?

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 20:54

Why are people STILL bringing this thread up

Pinkchickenwine · 01/09/2026 21:28

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 20:54

Why are people STILL bringing this thread up

Because it was resurrected by one person, who may have seen it in the similar posts bit?

That brings it back into active and then people post on it again and then more people do because it’s active!

By posting your post, you’re keeping it active.

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 21:33

My post was 4 minutes after the previous person's post

I was not the one who re brought it up again

Pinkchickenwine · 01/09/2026 21:37

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 21:33

My post was 4 minutes after the previous person's post

I was not the one who re brought it up again

It your perpetuating it! And then moaning! Just leave it and it will disappear.

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 21:40

Well to be fair it keeps being resurrected

But anyway you're perpetuating it too I guess if you're posting too

Pinkchickenwine · 01/09/2026 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 21:50

Ok

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 21:53

Not sure why you feel the need to laugh when someone used upper case letters for a word but ok

Pinkchickenwine · 01/09/2026 21:56

purpleme12 · 01/09/2026 21:53

Not sure why you feel the need to laugh when someone used upper case letters for a word but ok

I find it HIGHLY amusing!

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