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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want out after being love bombed so quickly

206 replies

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 16:37

I know I am being love bombed. Relentless texting, false promises, the L word so soon. I want out of this relationship but what is the best way to escape this sort of person?

OP posts:
Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 13:14

CornishTiger · 14/04/2026 12:41

Have they asked for you to attend the station or are they coming to you.

Have they mentioned ID?

What does this mean?

OP posts:
Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:49

CornishTiger · 14/04/2026 12:41

Have they asked for you to attend the station or are they coming to you.

Have they mentioned ID?

They asked if they could come
to me and I said I would go to them. With ID

OP posts:
CornishTiger · 14/04/2026 12:41

Have they asked for you to attend the station or are they coming to you.

Have they mentioned ID?

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:37

I am just ignoring the messages and will discuss with the police tomorrow how to move forward

OP posts:
WorstPaceScenario · 14/04/2026 12:32

TheCobbleCreekMonster · 14/04/2026 12:18

I would tell him you are getting back with an ex.

That way he will think there is a DP on the scene and is more likely to leave you alone.

This is terrible advice. Men like this are jealous and possessive, do you think that perceived 'competition' is really going to make him back off? There's every possibility this would escalate his behaviour

jeaux90 · 14/04/2026 12:30

Well done for taking control.

Imbusytodaysorry · 14/04/2026 12:18

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:15

I’m really worried

@Pistachioo You have came here for support and you now have the police involved . You have done what is needed so far .
Once you have finished work and have txts and missed calls to deal with . Send one last message . It’s over do not contact me again, come near my home or approach me .
Then ignore. If he continues then you report to the police for harassment .
The police will advise you when you see them tomorow.

TheCobbleCreekMonster · 14/04/2026 12:18

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 16:46

I think I am

I would tell him you are getting back with an ex.

That way he will think there is a DP on the scene and is more likely to leave you alone.

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:15

I’m really worried

OP posts:
Pearlstillsinging · 14/04/2026 12:10

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:00

The police want to see me tomorrow? Any idea why?

I imagine that this is a response to your Claire's Law request. They want to speak to you f2f to give you details about his past and to advise you on your own/children's safety. Please do attend. It seems they are taking this seriously.

WorstPaceScenario · 14/04/2026 12:06

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:00

The police want to see me tomorrow? Any idea why?

Possibly as a result of your Claire's Law Request.

I have been in a similar situation to you, minus the children, and was really quite young at the time. My advice to you would be, now that you've told him it's over and requested a Claire's Law disclosure, do not engage with him at all. He will twist your words, and tie you up in knots eventually gaslighting you to think that he's only doing what you wanted. Let the messages and missed calls stack up, don't even read his messages, and completely ignore him. If he turns up where you are, stalks you, or makes you feel unsafe, do not hesitate to report him to the police.

Endofyear · 14/04/2026 12:05

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:00

The police want to see me tomorrow? Any idea why?

It's possible that he's known to police and has form for behaving like this? It's also possible that the police want to sit down with you and get a complete history of your relationship and his behaviour on record.

Pistachioo · 14/04/2026 12:00

The police want to see me tomorrow? Any idea why?

OP posts:
Inmyuggs · 14/04/2026 11:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 14/04/2026 10:55

How are you @Pistachioo
I'm going to assume he's been back in touch.

TheNarcissistsEx · 14/04/2026 08:12

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 21:48

I am doing something about it! I have ended it, done a Clare’s law request. Im
not sure why your mind boggles? I
am Actually quite proud of myself that I have picked up on this behaviour and put boundaries in place

Please don’t let comments like Ophir’s upset you. Someone who hasn’t been involved with a man like this won’t understand the issues. It’s so easy to say ‘just leave him’ etc, but these awful men are so manipulative that they make you believe you’re imagining things etc.

You're doing the right thing @Pistachioo, stay in touch with the police etc and don’t let him convince you he’s going to change.

Muffinmam · 13/04/2026 22:31

In my experience I talk about my health issues and even invent a few more. I once told a dangerous man I couldn’t have a relationship with him due to my autism (that was surprisingly effective).

Ophir · 13/04/2026 22:27

MyMonthlyNameChange · 13/04/2026 22:08

What a ridiculous comment. You can’t ’move on’ from someone who is stalking you.

The op is still messaging him
though 🤷🏼‍♀️

Error404FucksNotFound · 13/04/2026 22:11

Londonrach1 · 13/04/2026 21:49

Do what I did find someone else they can love bomb and slip away. As struggling to leave as love bombing increased it was the only way I could get out. I then left the town to do further study and changed my phone and address...don't regret it ...he about five years ago found me on Facebook...I blocked him and locked my Facebook down and changed my name on it and my photo is of a random thing now.

You found him another victim so you could escape? Do you know if they are ok

MyMonthlyNameChange · 13/04/2026 22:08

Ophir · 13/04/2026 22:06

Just block, delete. Move on

What a ridiculous comment. You can’t ’move on’ from someone who is stalking you.

Ophir · 13/04/2026 22:06

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 21:48

I am doing something about it! I have ended it, done a Clare’s law request. Im
not sure why your mind boggles? I
am Actually quite proud of myself that I have picked up on this behaviour and put boundaries in place

Just block, delete. Move on

midnights92 · 13/04/2026 21:52

Can you order a ring doorbell and plan to stay away for a few nights? Once that's all in place, then send one of the suggestee messages here. Any showing up when you've said you don't want that, report to the police non emergency number and tell a friend.

Londonrach1 · 13/04/2026 21:49

Do what I did find someone else they can love bomb and slip away. As struggling to leave as love bombing increased it was the only way I could get out. I then left the town to do further study and changed my phone and address...don't regret it ...he about five years ago found me on Facebook...I blocked him and locked my Facebook down and changed my name on it and my photo is of a random thing now.

Pistachioo · 13/04/2026 21:48

Ophir · 13/04/2026 21:35

Well, why?

the mind boggles

I am doing something about it! I have ended it, done a Clare’s law request. Im
not sure why your mind boggles? I
am Actually quite proud of myself that I have picked up on this behaviour and put boundaries in place

OP posts: