AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

OTT reaction.
Totally unreasonable.

We have taken to spelling out in Guides what exactly supervision and arrangements will be as some parents expectations are wild and want them treated like 4 not 14. Some girls are literally chaperoned everywhere and chauffeured door to door. My dd had friends not permitted to get a train to a city an hour away in sixth form holidays yet parents were expecting them to live independently at far flung universities a few months later.
I hope she thanks your sister and the couple.
It’s no wonder it’s hard for yp to get advice. They have done a lovely kind thing giving up time on a weekday to speak to a teen and some people feel it’s dodgy meeting professionals in a public coffee shop.

She's 16 not 6. Sounds like she needs to be more independent.

I thought my parents were super strict and over-protective when I was younger but maybe not after reading this post. I grew up about an hour north of London, and had a Saturday job in central London at 14 years old (family friend had a business there).

My dad would sometimes drop me off at the local train station, but then I was on my own. Bought my own train ticket, jumped on a train, then a tube, then walked to my job in Oxford St, worked a full day dealing with customers before heading home again. My parents drew the line at me working a night shift much to my annoyance- they didn't want me getting home super late, but yep, I never had any problems. Nor did I feel uncomfortable. In fact, I LOVED IT!

I was living alone at 16! 😆

Jeez

To add - I used to get the train to London with my friends to go shopping when I was about 14 (from Buckinghamshire so probably similar distance) and my mum is pretty up tight.

I was commuting to London for work at 16.

She was fine and I bet she had a wonderful day and she should feel very proud of herself

If the OP doesn’t cop on and encourage her 16 year old to develop some independence, she will end up like the 33 year old on another current thread who is terrified of spending ten minutes alone on a train after her companion gets off on her way home from a gig.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5514452-to-be-nervous

Speaking as someone whose parents wrapped them in cotton wool and then launched them out into the world at 18 utterly unprepared for life i think you're being a bit unreasonable. Use the next 2 years before your daughter goes to uni to build up her life skills as otherwise she'll be back hone with you before the first term is finished.

YABVU - of course a 16yo should be and to manage and she had people with her regardless.

If she's a "baby" maybe she shouldn't be meeting people to talk about jobs. Either she's a little baby forever whose mummy and auntie have to look after her, or she can learn some basic skills

Shes 16 not 10! 16 year old can join the army and get married (not that i think they should). Im sure she could manage meeting people for a coffee!!

At 16 I was babysitting my baby niece 🤣 YABVU.

This is crazy!! My daughter is 16, travels into London with friends and has done by herself. Has a part time job and is very independent. Time to let go, OP.

She’s 16 - she should know how to navigate her nearby city.

That doesn't make her reasonable.

A 16 year old should be able to sit in a cafe and take the train on their own without a babysitter.

She does have every right to question her sister but she also needs to make reasonable risk assessment and meeting a couple known to her auntie in a public cafe in broad daylight incredibly low risk.

Or she could recognise that her sister is the one behaving appropriately here.

Ffs this is a 16 year old.
If this is true and she was so helpless, then shame on you for not nurturing more independence in her.

At 17 I lived in a capital city on my own, and managed all my own money, transport, bills, social life etc.

My 16yr old is currently planning a few days away in an English city (we live in Scotland) with her friends. It hasn't occurred to me that she won't manage the trains, buses etc.

See this as a wake up call. How can you equip your daughter with these fairly essential skills? I took mine to cities with undergrounds and taught them how to navigate the system. I made them show me how they could use Google Maps to map out multi-mode transport journeys. What can she do already, and what does she need experience in so that she's ready for the next time?

YANBU OP. Go no contact with her.

Any reason your DD didn’t just call your sister when the coffee/discussion was finished?

That’s probably what your sister was expecting.

TBH it would’ve been a bit odd if your sister had stayed for the coffee chat, IMO. A 16 year old meeting people in a public cafe doesn’t need a chaperone.

I think a child or young person going to meet to people involved in those profession at age 16 should be able to navigate back from that meeting. You are being quite ridiculous!

She’s OPs baby and at 16 she’s still a child. OP has every right to worry about her and if what her DSis did doesn’t sit right with her, she has every right to say so.