Boyfriend using bulk of his holiday allowance for ‘secret’ holiday with his mate

It's an absolute state that so many people on here boil a country down to "sex tourism" and call people naive if they don't immediately shame anyone that goes there. Not saying it doesn't happen but people on here are just so myopic.

I agree

Secret holiday.
To Thailand.

Fuck that.

Bin.

I really think this is utterly bizarre. A normal man would definitely not invite his partner of a year on a holiday with his friend. It would be a deeply weird thing to ask.

I'd dump a guy who wanted to go to Thailand without me. His friend who goes there alone every year is going for one main reason and its not the beautiful scenery!

He'll be introducing your boyfriend to his hobby. It would be a no from me.

Same suspicion here.

Of course not everyone goes there for sex tourism, but not everyone is a young man travelling on his own to the same place every year. I know couples and friends who have gone there for normal holidays, but I also used to know a guy who would go every year as he knew he wasn’t attractive and it was easy to find women there who wanted to be his “girlfriend”

I think you are being very naive if you are in denial about the amount of men who visit Thailand for sex tourism.

Not to be rude but he's not exactly going to tell his mum he is nailing prostitutes every night is he? 😂I'm sure he is a lovely boy and does do all his mountain climbing but I think a lot of women are really blind to this stuff. Its not the oldest profession for no reason. A lot of men are more than happy to do stuff like this when they aren't at home... especially somewhere that normalises it like Bangkok.

Imy son has been twice He goes hiking in the mountains and swimming in waterfalls as well as visiting temples etc. He's in his 20s

There's also heaps of other things in Bangkok if you keep away from nana plaza, patong and some of KSR it's a whole other world

He wants to have an adventure with a mate.
Why would you try to stop that ? Just plan some nice weekends away with him, and make other arrangements for your own holiday.

A signal that he keeps promises made to friends before he even knew OP?

Why should he let his friend down on a pre arranged trip, it’s perfectly possible to have a relationship and do things with friends too.

I've been to Thailand. I went for a month in my youth. Bangkok is full of live sex shows, ping pong shows etc, lots of strip bars, lady boy bars etc as well as the obvious prostitution. I don't think two lads would be going to sightsee or visit temples somehow. It is a beautiful country and the people are absolutely lovely.

I had to check the date of the OP because I swear I've read it before, some months ago 🤨

Edit: my apologies I was thinking of this thread...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5407883-dp-lied-about-his-holiday-allowance-and-we-cant-go-away

Plenty of people go there for other reasons you know. Strange that people who travel to the phillipines or Cambodia don't get labelled the same way and plenty of sex tourism goes in there also

The biggest issue here is that he's obviously lying about when he planned it otherwise it would have come up as soon as you started talking about possibly going on holiday together this year.

Sex tourism and not necessarily with females of adult age either.

Young boys are victims of western sex tourism as well as girls and women.

Why did I know this was Thailand before I opened the thread?

OP, it's full of red flags. You're not his first choice of holiday partner 🚩, there are types of things he wants to do with his mate before getting serious 🚩, he chooses Thailand to experience these things 🚩, he doesn't care at all that the one thing you'd requested won't be possible 🚩...

I honestly think in overwhelming likelihood, this is not good news about your boyfriend's character or about his commitment to you.

Just let him choose his priorities and, if they’re not you then end it.

You can’t change him or make him want to choose you over this trip. If it’s a deal breaker for you that he promised you a trip abroad and now can’t deliver then have the courage to walk away!

I would assume his pal is a sex tourist and your bf is wanting to go along this year because he wants to give it a go too.

I would certainly be very wary of both your bf and his friend. And not being honest about the holiday in the first place is a bad sign in itself
.

Sex tourism.

Sex tourism is huge in Thailand.

If there’s no other reason like friends or family to visit then this is more likely.

I'm on the fence. On one hand you've only been together a year and he'd committed to going away with his friend. OTOH three weeks is a LONG holiday! I can't see why he can't go for two and go away with you as well.

Lots of men do. Prostitution is a big thing there.

It is also a beautiful place, so that could be the reason. His friend could have friends there he visits yearly.

You could ask your boyfriend what his friend does when he’s there?

You sound fun.