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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think male posters get a hard time on MN?

117 replies

Fancycrab · 19/03/2026 10:31

Just an observation. Whenever there’s a comment on a thread or a thread started by a man it seems to be viewed with suspicion or the poster gets a hard time/is always disagreed with etc. It seems some MNers are pretty hostile towards men on the site. Made me wonder, what do you think of men who post on here?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
NotSevenOfNine · 01/04/2026 12:44

ChamonixMountainBum · 19/03/2026 10:55

I am man. Most of the time my sex has very little bearing on the topics to hand. Very occasionally, if it is relevant, I will mention it. I lurk on the feminist boards mostly because I like to be on top of the latest news in the trans debates and being informed has a relevance to my role as coach and manager of a sports club (got pulled into the whole fairness in sports, mixed changing rooms debate). I cringe sometimes at the 'as a man' type of intros on threads or the creepy weirdos offering their detailed views on the sex threads. For the most part I have not had a hard time, the only time there has been clashes are when my view is the polar opposite of someone else's. There is, I believe, a bias, but that is unsurprisingly when the site is 90% women.

So am I. A long time ago I think I started coming on here to find out oabout DWs breat cancer. It was hormone sensitive so now I get to talk about womens hormones ratuionally for the first time in my life. Even the sex board seems wholesome just like the rest of the MN. YABU OP

ThatsRoughBuddy · 19/03/2026 23:38

Can you all stop pick8ng on that poor man. You’ll upset the poor dear. He’s clearly confused enough already and you’ve come along with facts and backed them up with proof and just made it so hard for him to be the reasonable man that he truly is.

Man, you clearly have a very fixed idea of who you are and how you come across but that’s not matching with what we see.

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 22:42

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:27

Never said it was fine.

please leave me alone.

I do wonder what it's like to receive entirely fitting and predictable consequences for one's own behaviour, and just insist that they're only because one is a man.

Probably very similar to writing posts, having them directly quoted, and simply responding "no I never".

Do these people realise how it looks, or do they just think they must be right if they keep talking?

ThatPearlkitty · 19/03/2026 22:41

id say its more female vs female,

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:30

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:29

Yes, that is your opinion which we are all entitled to have.

thank you for your input

It's a statement of fact, not an opinion.

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:29

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:27

There are no personal attacks, though, so you've actually got nothing to report.

Yes, that is your opinion which we are all entitled to have.

thank you for your input

hydejeckyl · 19/03/2026 22:28

BCBird · 19/03/2026 22:05

I don't want them.on here either

That’s why they’re hear.

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:27

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 22:25

Please show me where I say it was fine to say it?

You, a few minutes ago:

Not deleted, just got shouted at for calling A women on a thread that word. Cause in my opinion (we all have one) she was.

So you called a woman a misogynistic slur on the internet, reaffirmed it here a few minutes ago, and blamed everyone else for "shouting at you" when they told you it was unacceptable.

As for the rest of it, yeah, it was like this last time, all "no I never" "that's what you think" and a few "come now" phrases to try to sound all reasonable. I do wonder who you think you're fooling?

And you remain convinced that the only reason you're getting a bad reception on here is because you're a man.

Never said it was fine.

please leave me alone.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:27

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:26

Thank you but I won’t be bothering them. I have asked for what I feel are personal attacks to be stopped and that’s all I wish to do.

we all have different opinions and thoughts. Life would be boring otherwise.

There are no personal attacks, though, so you've actually got nothing to report.

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:26

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:22

I must ask you to stop with the personal attacks, thank you

I can't actually see any personal attacks, but if you can, you should report them to MNHQ.

Thank you but I won’t be bothering them. I have asked for what I feel are personal attacks to be stopped and that’s all I wish to do.

we all have different opinions and thoughts. Life would be boring otherwise.

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 22:25

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:19

Please show me where I say it was fine to say it?

I wasn’t deleted, the post was.

again please don’t assume anything about me.

my apologies are always genuine, on here on in real life.

i must ask you to stop with the personal attacks, thank you

Please show me where I say it was fine to say it?

You, a few minutes ago:

Not deleted, just got shouted at for calling A women on a thread that word. Cause in my opinion (we all have one) she was.

So you called a woman a misogynistic slur on the internet, reaffirmed it here a few minutes ago, and blamed everyone else for "shouting at you" when they told you it was unacceptable.

As for the rest of it, yeah, it was like this last time, all "no I never" "that's what you think" and a few "come now" phrases to try to sound all reasonable. I do wonder who you think you're fooling?

And you remain convinced that the only reason you're getting a bad reception on here is because you're a man.

hydejeckyl · 19/03/2026 22:24

There are lots of boards on here that I don’t go on out of respect because I’m not the intended audience there are even statements at the top of some subject categories that say This board exists primarily for the use of those mumsnetters, others are free to post but please be respectful.
Men have a category too called dadsnet, so if I come onto mumsnet to ask other mums advice, I don’t want to have a man’s view shoved down my throat but men like to intrude into women’s spaces.

YankeeDad · 19/03/2026 22:22

Fancycrab · 19/03/2026 10:31

Just an observation. Whenever there’s a comment on a thread or a thread started by a man it seems to be viewed with suspicion or the poster gets a hard time/is always disagreed with etc. It seems some MNers are pretty hostile towards men on the site. Made me wonder, what do you think of men who post on here?

While there are exceptions, most of the time I have felt that most responses to reasonable posts by openly male posters tend to be constructive and often also empathetic. The most aggressive pile-ons that I can remember reading were mostly against posters who said that they are female.

For me this site has also been a real eye-opener regarding how much bullshit women have to put up with, mostly from men but also from women, in an astonishingly wide variety of settings and situations.

I originally came here for parenting advice, but I think that reading threads on this site and reading about (mostly) women’s experiences helps me to be a better and more empathetic human being, and that is the real reason why I keep coming back.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:22

I must ask you to stop with the personal attacks, thank you

I can't actually see any personal attacks, but if you can, you should report them to MNHQ.

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:21

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:19

@dadtoateen you had a lot of posts deleted on that thread.
I remember you.

I most likely did and I apologised and meant it.

i can’t turn back time, only move forward from things

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:19

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 22:03

You were deleted because you used a misogynistic slur. It would have been deleted had a woman written it, because it was a misogynistic slur. It would have been deleted had ChatGPT written it, because it was a misogynistic slur.

And you still seem to think that was fine but everyone else was wrong for "shouting" at you about it.

At least we can see how sincere your apology was, I guess.

Please show me where I say it was fine to say it?

I wasn’t deleted, the post was.

again please don’t assume anything about me.

my apologies are always genuine, on here on in real life.

i must ask you to stop with the personal attacks, thank you

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/03/2026 22:19

@dadtoateen you had a lot of posts deleted on that thread.
I remember you.

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 22:17

tequilam0ckingbird · 19/03/2026 22:00

I've seen plenty of women get treated like this too. Yes some men are treated badly but so are some women. Welcome to the world of asychronous forums.

Thanks for announcing you're a man and have opinions on this though. It's appreciated.

I have never suggested women are not treated badly.

im on this forum for my reasons, and so many threads on here help me out and keep me going through the tough days.

its generally a great place to be

BCBird · 19/03/2026 22:05

I don't want them.on here either

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 22:03

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 21:55

Good sleuthing.

again didn’t get deleted….

oh and I’m not your mate thanks.

weaponise? So you are now attacking me personally? Many thanks.

dont worry, i wont report your attacks and assumptions about me.

you are just reaffirming the fact that men are generally treated baby on here.

you don’t know me so please stop with the personal attacks.

god forbid I had the same words to say about you.

have a great night

You were deleted because you used a misogynistic slur. It would have been deleted had a woman written it, because it was a misogynistic slur. It would have been deleted had ChatGPT written it, because it was a misogynistic slur.

And you still seem to think that was fine but everyone else was wrong for "shouting" at you about it.

At least we can see how sincere your apology was, I guess.

tequilam0ckingbird · 19/03/2026 22:00

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 21:55

Good sleuthing.

again didn’t get deleted….

oh and I’m not your mate thanks.

weaponise? So you are now attacking me personally? Many thanks.

dont worry, i wont report your attacks and assumptions about me.

you are just reaffirming the fact that men are generally treated baby on here.

you don’t know me so please stop with the personal attacks.

god forbid I had the same words to say about you.

have a great night

I've seen plenty of women get treated like this too. Yes some men are treated badly but so are some women. Welcome to the world of asychronous forums.

Thanks for announcing you're a man and have opinions on this though. It's appreciated.

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 21:58

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 21:52

I said deleted, dear, not banned.

There you go, he called a woman a slapper, the post was deleted and he's the victim. (I guess this means the apology was insincere too.) It's only because we hate men, no other reason!

That’s so funny

Twisting things, well done. Hope it makes you feel better

you guess wrong but ok

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 21:55

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 21:47

Yeah, it was him. OP was having an affair (which is wrong, obviously) and he called her a slapper and got deleted. To be fair, he did apologise, but he also thought she ought to involve her children by telling them all about her affair so they could be distressed and angry and it would punish her.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5476132-im-cheating-what-to-do?page=10

If you're serious about being here for parenting advice, mate, then that is a really, really bad move. That's not what children are for. From what I've seen, though, you appear to be here not for support and advice on lone parenting, but so that you can weaponise your situation to try to prove that 'women are just as bad as men' in all respects or whatever. That's what comes over as the primary motivation.

The funny thing is, if you were really here for support and solidarity, I do honestly think you'd get it. There are plenty of abandoned mothers on here - women are a lot more likely than men to be left as lone parents - and I think most of them would sympathise with how hard it is and want to help, for you and your child... if that came across as truly being what you wanted.

But it clearly isn't.

Good sleuthing.

again didn’t get deleted….

oh and I’m not your mate thanks.

weaponise? So you are now attacking me personally? Many thanks.

dont worry, i wont report your attacks and assumptions about me.

you are just reaffirming the fact that men are generally treated baby on here.

you don’t know me so please stop with the personal attacks.

god forbid I had the same words to say about you.

have a great night

ThatCyanCat · 19/03/2026 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I said deleted, dear, not banned.

There you go, he called a woman a slapper, the post was deleted and he's the victim. (I guess this means the apology was insincere too.) It's only because we hate men, no other reason!

tequilam0ckingbird · 19/03/2026 21:50

dadtoateen · 19/03/2026 21:49

So you didn’t know that…. Just assumed

No, I knew.
I've seen it all before.