To think all these mothers bragging about working full time are just using their own mothers as unpaid childcare?

I've always worked FT, I live on the other side of the world from my family.
Single parent.
Any support I've had I paid for.

I read about people on here with grandparent support but I dont recognise anyone like that in real life.

Eh?

No. My mother lives 2.5 hours away & DHs has done one day of emergency childcare in 8 years.

My parents do an evening babysit abouts 2-3 times per year, usually for mine/DH birthday/our anniversary. Often they get us a ticket for something & the "gift" includes the offer to babysit which is brill. They do usually do 2-3 days once during summer holidays, then SiL usually offers the same but if she didn't we'd pay for camps.

We pay for childcare covering our working hours and always have.

Are you the same poster who started the IVF thread, or are there two OPs this week who had a baby at 16 and are negatively generalising about other groups of parents ? .

I don't think it's helpful for parents to be making these jabs at eachother. From personal experience, my husband and I both work full time and our child has never been looked after by either set of grandparents, not even for 5 minutes as a baby to allow me a shower. We pay for nursery and have done since she started. In my experience working full time with a young child and no support is utterly exhausting, especially considering there is no safety net and no one to call in an emergency. I wouldn't dream of making comments or assumptions about other parents, their working or childcare situations. In the trenches of bringing up children it helps to just be a bit more kind!

I never had any family childcare although did work part time for a few years. I went full time whe DS was about 8 or 9. I used to take him to school and his dad who was self employed would pick him up. If we were struggling other parents would help and we would reciprocate. Loads of parents juggle and/or use paid childcare.

I agree OP, in my experience friends with full time careers have plenty of family support including a) providing regular daytime childcare which avoids having to pay for full time nursery fees b) Ad hoc babysitting which enables couples to have one n one time or just time to decompress/run errands etc Or c) helping with housework, life admin, watching kids school events, getting a shop in etc.
Before anyone jumps on me I’m aware that this won’t be the case for all FT working parents though.
I worked PT when mine were little as the cost of childcare and the additional tax meant that I’d have actually been worse off than working full time.

I have worked full time since my kids were little and paid for childcare, even as a single parent. I certainly dont brag about it, it was my personal choice to give my kids a certain standard of living that I wanted for them. I dont judge others for their choices, most people are doing what feels right for them anf their circumstances. Life is hard enough without doing down people who have chosen a different path to us. Each to their own

Old post but interesting how the OP sees mothers as 'bragging' 🙄 but fails to cast the same judgement on working fathers. Wonder why that is, OP?

But why does OP conflate this with 'mothers' and not 'parents'?

I think it depends where you live and what age you had your children.
Some people who had their children young and never moved far from home have a lot of help from their own parents.
People who went away to university, have professional jobs and are older having their children tend to use paid childcare.
I know that’s a generalisation but I think there’s some truth in it.
There are also some single parents in poorer areas who get more help than some mothers living with partners/ husbands.

9 times out of 10? Where did you come up with that figure? I worked full time from when my kids were born and used paid for childcare as my mum lives 200 miles away and my MIL lived about 2000 miles away!

I certainly haven’t had any help from any family members. We’ve done it all on our own (and yes, we both work full time). I certainly wouldn’t say we’re bragging though, it’s not something that really comes up in conversation.

Most nurseries finish at 3? Are you just thinking about those attached to schools. Most that are for the purpose of childcare finish much later as the purpose is to enable people to work. There’s lots of nurseries that fit round work (although sometimes getting back in time can be pressured)

As an old-fashioned and probably very religious family that believes that abortion is murder, I would have expected them to step up and provide you with childcare for the baby you had at 15.

Why aren't you angry with your parents rather than directing your anger at teen mothers whose family did help them with childcare.

I’m sure it’s already been asked, but don’t fathers benefit from childcare as much as mothers?

yabu and talking bs
All of my single friends have worked ft and used nurseries because their own parents are still working.
Me and DP both worked full time and have no family support whatsoever let alone an exhausted mother.
If you are unhappy with your life choices or feel you should be working more, that’s on you. Stop projecting your insecurities on to other families.

My DD works full time. She doesn't brag about it. I do some childcare but I also work full time (I don't brag about it either!) I'm not exhausted. In fact I'm typically less tired than DD. So tbh, I've no idea what you're talking about.

First post nails it. So did I. My mum used to look after my son for one week in the summer holidays. Her choice for which I was grateful. But I wouldn't say it was exploitation given I paid for childcare for the rest of the year!

I have an answer - don’t give up your job to look after your children, unless you want to.

I work, my mum worked, every mum I know works.

Not really bothered if anyone “expects” me not to. I want to work, so I do.

I had a full time career including studying for and taking professional exams jn my 30s and not one single day of childcare provided by anyone other than nursery or school.

Yes a lot of people will have family help but a lot of people who only work part time have family help as well. I don't think you can decide any woman who has succeeded to have children's and a career has only done so because they have had free childcare

Nursery hours are 7:30-6pm, it's the easiest time to work full time! 😂School it gets harder, but as long as there eis breakfast club and after school club then it's still do-able

I think the real issue is fathers bragging about how hard they’ve worked to advance their careers, while neglecting to add that their wives have basically organised their lives for them and taken care of everything at home so they can focus only on their jobs.

Ridiculous. My mum died before my first child was born. No paternal grandmother either. Absolute click bait.

OP I think you sound incredibly bitter and jealous. I’ve been in the workforce for years and I’ve not once heard anyone bragging about working. What kind of conversations are you having that this even is a topic of discussion?
You made your choices, it’s a bit off to now be bitter at other people just because they made different choices. I don’t imagine anyone is bragging at all, it’s likely just your interpretation because it’s a sore point for you. You need to take responsibility for your feelings - no one has made you feel like shit, you’ve allowed yourself to feel
this way.