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AIBU?

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My boyfriend

40 replies

Denisa2024 · 07/02/2026 21:39

My boyfriend and I were thinking about getting married. He was hoping he wasn’t still married, even though he never signed any papers after many years apart. His ex-wife has moved on with a new boyfriend and they have a little girl together.

My boyfriend and this woman aren’t divorced yet, and I later found out she’s low on money and waiting for him to finalise the divorce. I’m also wondering — is my boyfriend the legal father of her daughter, even if he’s not the biological dad?

Thanks!

OP posts:
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Arlanymor · 10/02/2026 15:16

ShawnaMacallister · 10/02/2026 03:00

If the mother put him on the birth certificate then he would be the legal dad - and she could have done that since they are still married. I'm not saying she did, just saying it's possible

Yes that's a fair point - but surely he would also know if he was on it because it doesn't sound like he knows either?!

Shoxfordian · 10/02/2026 04:25

He doesn't sound too bright, are you sure you want to marry an idiot?

ShawnaMacallister · 10/02/2026 03:00

Arlanymor · 09/02/2026 18:06

If someone is stupid enough not to know if they are divorced or not then the last thing you need to do is to be marrying them. If he's not the biological dad then unless he adopted the child then he's not the legal dad either. You also seem a bit dim - sorry - if you don't know this. Are you both very young or just not even remotely switched on?

If the mother put him on the birth certificate then he would be the legal dad - and she could have done that since they are still married. I'm not saying she did, just saying it's possible

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 10/02/2026 00:51

He needs a divorce and a financial settlement ... otherwise she could come after any future assets he has, including a new marital home!

Terip · 10/02/2026 00:01

He believes divorces can happen by two people having the intention and manifesting it?

Nah, you need to sign something.

pineapplecrushed · 09/02/2026 23:50

this is a very odd post. You don't sound old enough for marriage.

catlover123456789 · 09/02/2026 21:03

He was hoping he's still not married.

He sounds really independent and responsible, what a catch!

FuzzyWolf · 09/02/2026 18:07

Did he actually have the mental capacity to get married in the first place?

StripedVase · 09/02/2026 18:06

I like the idea that you can just hope for a marriage to wear off with time.

Arlanymor · 09/02/2026 18:06

If someone is stupid enough not to know if they are divorced or not then the last thing you need to do is to be marrying them. If he's not the biological dad then unless he adopted the child then he's not the legal dad either. You also seem a bit dim - sorry - if you don't know this. Are you both very young or just not even remotely switched on?

WilfredsPies · 09/02/2026 18:04

Do you think CBT might help you? Or maybe taking up a hobby? Crochet perhaps?

whymadam · 09/02/2026 18:01

I can't even.

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/02/2026 11:39

He sounds a catch.

Swiftie1878 · 08/02/2026 11:38

Denisa2024 · 07/02/2026 21:39

My boyfriend and I were thinking about getting married. He was hoping he wasn’t still married, even though he never signed any papers after many years apart. His ex-wife has moved on with a new boyfriend and they have a little girl together.

My boyfriend and this woman aren’t divorced yet, and I later found out she’s low on money and waiting for him to finalise the divorce. I’m also wondering — is my boyfriend the legal father of her daughter, even if he’s not the biological dad?

Thanks!

Your boyfriend sounds like a complete loser if he is ‘hoping’ he’s no longer married, but has done sod all about getting a divorce.
You need to be eyes wide open about the sort of man you are planning to marry. He’s useless, and it will be on you to think, organise and do everything.

See you in a few years, on here moaning about having to carry the full weight of your married life with two kids your partner can’t remember the names of. Good luck!

WinterBlues26 · 08/02/2026 11:36

Why do you want to marry such a stupid and useless man?

Bananalanacake · 08/02/2026 11:33

How long have you been together, if more than 5 years then ok. But you really need a long time to get to know someone well

FinallyHere · 08/02/2026 11:27

He was hoping he wasn’t still married, even though he never signed any papers

And you are seriously considering getting married to this man?

Are you comfortable with the idea that this is how he is going to be in your marriage. Everything and I really mean everything will be down to you. If he ever decides the relationship isn’t for him, he is likely to wander off and just get together with someone else who is prepared to put up with this.

You won’t be able to say that you were not warned.

greencheetah · 08/02/2026 11:02

So you married this man bigamously?

HappyFace2025 · 08/02/2026 10:55

Denisa2024 · 08/02/2026 10:45

Yes Darling 😅

???

Denisa2024 · 08/02/2026 10:45

Yes Darling 😅

OP posts:
Gonnahavetofaceit · 08/02/2026 08:12

Where is your husband in all this?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 08/02/2026 08:05

Oh dear, she's back and just as dim

BigYellowBus · 08/02/2026 07:37

ForPearlViper · 07/02/2026 22:22

Is this a new boyfriend since the one you had just married in around August OP, whose ex pestered for money? You certainly get around.

Married to a chap with two kids in fact...

PollyBell · 07/02/2026 22:46

ForPearlViper · 07/02/2026 22:22

Is this a new boyfriend since the one you had just married in around August OP, whose ex pestered for money? You certainly get around.

The Russian spy one or the onw who is butler to the Queen of Uzbekistan?

Or was that another poster?

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