Christmas now unaffordable

So some weeks you’re not eating at all and others it’s once or twice at most? Can I ask what you’re eating? How are you still functioning if you don’t even eat a mouthful some weeks? You must be very weak and thin. Can you go to the gp about this- maybe you could be prescribed meal replacement shakes or something to help you get some calories in. You can’t really function enough to be a carer if you don’t eat for days and days on end so this situation in untenable- you will
end up hospitalised

That’s a bit harsh, no need for the thick comment! BUT the rest of it is pretty much true.

what’s your son doing at college? You say he’s 20, so what’s he been doing since he left school? Is he actually going to get a job in the related field? If not then he needs to stop wasting his time and get a job and pay his way. There are plenty of agency jobs that don’t need GCSEs / experience and you can start pretty much straight away.

EDIT sorry OP I’ve just seen your post about your son not being “mentally capable”. Mentally capable for what? If he’s not mentally capable of stacking shelves ect then he will be eligible for benefits to top up your household income.

He hasn't even had a biopsy after over a year.

I do sympathise, but like others, I don't believe that you're only eating 2x per week

That’s a late letter, I too have had very late letters containing results for scans / MRIs which have been dictated by the consultant and then taken weeks for the secretary to write up. Suspected cancer patients do not wait a year for a biopsy. The results, if nothing sinister is found, may take longer to arrive.

There are food banks in churches which allow you to self refer if you tell them both you are your partner are disabled.. Why not try ringing around. Or just turn up. I dont think they will turn you away empty handed because it looks bad in front of other people. Any HCP should be able to refer you. Your GP surgery should be able to.

I had to pay council tax when I wasn’t working, discounted yes but still had to pay some of it. Only complete exception was when I was a student

Yes, there was a recent story in the media about a man who waited nearly a year to get his results telling him he did actually have Cancer

Which is very different from still waiting for the very first port of call to a diagnosis after an entire year. If he has blood cancer, he clearly has a slow growing type which is lucky or he'd be dead right now.

Not necessarily. All councils work out council tax liability and support differently. Their benefits would be counted as income. Few councils give 100% discount and if they do it’s due to severe disability for example

I’ve been ther OP. I’ve been there when I was a child and me and my mum only ate twice a week also. We had no house. No car. No heating. No cooked food. No tv nothing at all. There were no phones at the time.

we ended up completely homeless and starving. Only then did the council step in. Food was super tight for years after that and without a neighbour who would buy us out of date tons of food we’d of starved.

if you ever want to rant. I’m here. It’s a horrible place to be OP ❤️

Not read the whole thread but I'm still confused as to why you're paying council tax. If you're in England and both not working this should definitely be covered by benefits

3 years ago I had a biopsy as an in patient in December and the results were sent in MAY with a dictated date that was about 8 weeks earlier than the letter to patient date.., and that was 3 years ago and the NHS crisis has deepened if anything…so 6 months is possible and I’d testify to that

It’s not for them to sort out, no. But a 20 year old who lives at home needs to be helping out, especially when their parents can’t afford to subsidise them.

Oh god someone hasn’t recommended a lodger again? They did this a while back on a similar thread. I haven’t read all ops follow ups so idk how old her kids are but letting a random stranger (potentially a nonce) into your house is NEVER worth it

It sounds really tough OP and to be honest you really will have to put yourself out there to access support-but there is absolutely support available.

Leap Energy Charity

https://applyforleap.org.uk/

Your energy company may also offer support through hardship funds-as well as DWP support-have you checked if you are eligible for Warm Home Discount for example?

Household Support Fund

(Administered by local council)

Local charities

Local foodbanks

Turn To Us (Charity, benefits and grants advice)

https://www.turn2us.org.uk/

Local social services

A lot of these have free phone numbers and online access.

Please reach out to organisations that can and will help.

Your circumstances sound awful but you also sound very pessimistic which makes me wonder if you’ve mental health issues or are exaggerating Some aspects, eg a town without any community support or even a shop is quite unbelievable. You don’t mention how your teenage son eats. As someone said, GCSE’s aren’t needed for many jobs, , ie shop work which I’m sure your son can easily find in the run up to Christmas to help the family. If District Nurses administer your weekly injection they can refer you for services or your GP. Help won’t come to you without asking.

Really? I'll put my English Lit MA in the bin then along with the experience of supporting my disabled parents to claim benefits and navigate several serious health conditions for the last two decades.

As the OP is renting she might not be permitted to take in a lodger.

According to our council there is no discounts or help for anyone with council tax any more and it’s going up again.

Don't believe it OP. Councils have a habit of making shit up. They can't make up their own rules which bypass national law! There's a means-tested council tax scheme nationally for people on a low income, which includes people on nothing except benefits. You will be entitled to some kind of discount. If the council won't tell you how to apply for the scheme, you'll need to join some group locally full of poverty stricken people who will know the answer to that question of how to apply because they're claiming it themselves.

my youngest is now 20 so not entitled to anything for him. He can’t claim uc due to being in college full time, he can’t claim student finance for that’s uni only. he wants to work but everywhere he goes he gets turned down due to his own issues and his college times. - he still hasn’t passed his maths or English

OP it's late and my brain is switching off now so I'm not capable of writing this in a politically correct way right now and for that I apologise. You and your son needs to accept he's thick. He's 20 with no maths and English, if it hasn't happened by now, it's not going to. He needs to stop pissing about with college and go get a job of some kind.

I agree with poster up thread, sign up with employment agencies for temporary work, doing whatever he can do. They won't care about qualifications they'll only care about what he can actually do. The more temporary placements he gets, the more experience he has and the more things he can do, all of which helps him to get a permanent job.

Once he's no longer in full time education he becomes eligible for and can apply for UC for himself. Which between that and the intermittent temporary work, will enable him to pay his way with his share of food, utility bills and council tax while he still lives at home.

Have you been reading the daily Mail again!
where’s your evidence?
I work in health care, support people with mental health and learning difficulties, so l know what you’re saying isn’t correct.All your doing is spreading misinformation which is ostracising people.

Regarding the tree have you checked charity shops for trees and decorations? My first Christmas as a mum was spent in a homeless shelter when I was barely an adult myself so please don’t think I’m well off and taking the piss. I still use the same artificial tree all these years later I’ve never bothered with a real one they just die and leave pine needles all over the floor. Some charitiy shops are cheaper than others there’s one round here that sells baubles for 10p

It sounds enough , and sounds lovely

I used to have a big artificial tree that a friend gave Me, lovely it was stood there in front of the window.
However, due to circumstances, I use the living room as a bedroom and just have no room for a large tree
I have a table top one with self lighting red tips at the end of it .. Quite a few fairy lights dotted around too and its cosy