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Original poster

Awful neighbours or me? Finally moving

114 replies

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 07:38

Have lived in my HA house for a little over a year now.
Nothing but nuisance of the children, I'm talking about playing out at 6:30am, shouting and screaming waking my kids up.

Trespassing on my driveway, throwing things at my car, chucking mud at my house, footballs being kicked at my windows, the list is endless.

I brought planters and fencing to block it all of and that caused the parents of these kids to take issue with me and stopped talking to me.

I spoke to the council who were pretty useless and advised me they couldn't do an "arranged move" as "these issues court occur anywhere".

The final straw came when one of my neighbours made me aware that she was watching me and who visits me on her Ring door bell and as I have previously been a victim of DV and stalking this started of some anxiety issues for me as she would constantly watch and then proceed in asking intrusive questions after.

Me and OH have saved some money during the last 10 months this has been occurring and family will also chip in when we finally leave here December before Xmas and give the home up.

There is a Facebook and WhatsApp group chat and I have never been invited to join either (older lady I am friendly with told me about it).

I was putting up Halloween decorations yesterday and my NDN came out and asked me "if everything was OK as she had seen a HA rep attend the property on Thursday and it looked very formal" (was our HA officer who had come to inspect the property before giving our new landlord a reference).

I basically told her to mind her own business and to never question my visitors again and she walked off.

I have pretty much bene ostracised here just for putting up a fence and not allowing kids to damage my car etc, I have never been rude or nasty and I just feel awful like I am the problem here.

I used to take in this neighbours parcels and bins whilst she was at work and she created a WhatsApp group and didn't even invite me, despite us never having issues but she sided with the other parents here.

AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
ComfortFoodCafe · 01/11/2025 17:07

I dont think people who have council houses understand how lucky they are.

MrMucker · 01/11/2025 17:05

Your neighbour-most of it just sounds like normal neighbourly small talk.
OP you sound like the increasing number of people I encounter who are totally freaked out at basic interaction with strangers. Sounds like you may have a general social anxiety and are prone to misreading innocuous stuff. There really isn't as much going on in your neighbour's questions as you imagine. It's what neighbours do. They ask about each other.
So much has been said recently about social anxiety being made worse through dependence on social media. I guess you prove that point too by worrying about not being added to this and that group. You are very invested in non face to face communication!

It's great to be yourself and follow your instincts about other people, but I feel your instincts here are not really accurate, and wonder if it's something that often crops up, reading bad intentions into innocent remarks.

Just my take on it. Good luck with the move.

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 16:44

And She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

so it’s all a bit haphazard

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 16:42

Bluejaysforthewin · 01/11/2025 16:39

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5418942-was-i-in-the-wrong-neighbour-issue?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with

bestcatlife · 01/11/2025 16:41

I'm gobsmacked that you're giving up a secure HA tenancy to go private for reasons that are frankly ridiculous. Some of us would give a limb for a HA place....
I don't like the sound of mud being thrown though, the rest I wouldn't care about.

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 16:34

Bluejaysforthewin · 01/11/2025 16:11

There was a thread about a month ago and the poster was the neighbour who started the WhatsApp/Facebook group and left her neighbour out and also said she kept tabs on her neighbours visitors via the ring cam. The responses were the exact opposite of this,. telling her how awful she was🤔🤔

Link?

Bluejaysforthewin · 01/11/2025 16:11

There was a thread about a month ago and the poster was the neighbour who started the WhatsApp/Facebook group and left her neighbour out and also said she kept tabs on her neighbours visitors via the ring cam. The responses were the exact opposite of this,. telling her how awful she was🤔🤔

Northernladdette · 01/11/2025 15:59

Why are you bothered if you’re moving anyway??

Bringyourfoldingchair · 01/11/2025 15:56

Anyone watched the perfect neighbour on Netflix? 😂

CoastalCalm · 01/11/2025 15:49

You need to just focus on the move now and try to blank her out

GehenSieweiter · 01/11/2025 15:47

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:11

And kids being uprooted as well

I would bet that the OP is being moved. Rather than it being her choice.

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I bet that you've got a very big wooden spoon.

thepariscrimefiles · 01/11/2025 15:45

Daisymay8 · 01/11/2025 11:27

I could swear there are ‘let’s stir it up and be nasty’ bots on mn

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I know. It's like a 'calling all cunts' klaxon goes off and they all descend on the threat to berate and belittle the OP.

Julimia · 01/11/2025 15:30

Just look forward to a new start soon and make sure everything gets off on different footing. Take csre

Otterdrunk · 01/11/2025 15:11

Why is everyone blaming the OP here & questioning her actions, motives & efforts to deal with what sounds like not a family or neighbour any of us would enjoy living next to? Surely it’s unpleasant to learn you have been deliberately excluded from a community WhatsApp group & that this busy body of her estate is behind it? You’re doing the right thing OP & are fortunate to be getting out of where you are soon. There are so many posts on here where the response is always to asset your property boundaries or any violations like parking, fencing, trespassing on your property, desecrating it or being harassed or surveilled. Why is what the OP did any different?

Catpiece · 01/11/2025 15:02

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:50

Exactly

and getting herself in to debt in the process
and within a year the kids packing up rooms and moving

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A knee-jerk reaction to give up a secure home because some kids are a nuisance. OP, wherever you move you can’t run away from yourself. I’ll bet wherever you go, trouble will follow.

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:57

waitamo · 01/11/2025 14:56

How did you get on at the property prior to this one that you are now leaving? Anny problems there?

I went to ask this question

and then thought…. Well we’re hardly likely to get the truth are we?!

waitamo · 01/11/2025 14:56

How did you get on at the property prior to this one that you are now leaving? Anny problems there?

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:50

Catpiece · 01/11/2025 14:48

Giving up a secure tenancy just as private rents are going through the roof seems ill-judged. If only OP had kept her head down

Show quote history

Exactly

and getting herself in to debt in the process
and within a year the kids packing up rooms and moving

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:49

As far as I can read…. She’s a nosy Parker
and her kids make a noise at 6.30

and you’re giving up a new HA flat, packing up all your stuff, uprooting your kids to move away from the security of HA to private renting and getting yourself in to debt to family as a result.

Catpiece · 01/11/2025 14:48

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:10

“Finally moving”

after 1 year in a brand new spanking flat provided for by HA
due to what seems like the most innocuous of interactions

To say there will be more to this is an understatement. Either way, OP you’ll be off soon, so it’s quite interesting you are spending so much time thinking both this 😵‍💫

Giving up a secure tenancy just as private rents are going through the roof seems ill-judged. If only OP had kept her head down

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:47

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 14:47

It's funny how other people have encountered problems with her and her kids have thrown her kids bikes into the road, have been to her front door and to tell her to "f off" when she has been been round demanding to know who has damaged her kids bikes etc.

The Housing Officer is aware of the issues (I have asked for a managed move many times) but all she can say is report it as anti social behaviour and I know there have been other complaints so it is not just me.

And? Did you follow the explicit advice to report as anti social behaviour?

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:47

She does spy on everyone on her Ring door bell as she is at work 90% of the time when I have had visitors, so else how else would she know?

how do you know?

and does she just charge up to you and ask who this person is etc?

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 14:47

It's funny how other people have encountered problems with her and her kids have thrown her kids bikes into the road, have been to her front door and to tell her to "f off" when she has been been round demanding to know who has damaged her kids bikes etc.

The Housing Officer is aware of the issues (I have asked for a managed move many times) but all she can say is report it as anti social behaviour and I know there have been other complaints so it is not just me.

OP posts:
Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 14:43

Some of the nasty comments on here are just bang out of order.

Everyone is different and people have different perceptions which is what makes the world so beautiful.

She does spy on everyone on her Ring door bell as she is at work 90% of the time when I have had visitors, so else how else would she know?

I am not being moved at all, we are leaving this house to rent privately and have had to borrow money of family as they too have been made to feel uncomfortable and approached by this neighbour.

OP posts: