Person I knew a long time ago wants us to give her son a bit of a holiday - would you?

No OP. Don't do it. You could end up with a "lodger" on your hands.

I get another vibe about the < young person's > family from the op. A nasty high horse family with a husband with disdain towards everyone, cannot keep a job. I cannot comment what the child turned out into but I won't opening my home to people whose parents clearly are not interested to work hard for their upkeep .....we say you give them a finger, they bit your arm off.

we had relatives and proper friends stay with us over the years and we had unsolicited people claiming stays from places like uni or whatever else, a hobby group, a dance class. Like really.

His parents are unpleasant acquaintances who haven’t bothered staying in touch for decades until they want to put OP out in order to have their kid stay for free. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

But these people are neither family nor friends.

They're people they knew 18+ years ago and they don't like them.

I cannot believe there are people who actually think you should dothis.

It's mental!

We had my friends Dd for a week when she was 24. Not a teen, but we had moved to another country. Difference is I was part of her life and had known her since she was 4.
I'd say no to a non friend.

As I also know the type. One of my uni mates had these strange male friends who were touring Europe and were asking women to give them just a stay for the night - as in the previous entry, it turns into months, no bills, nothing. They expect to shag you also. I did not know this about her. We just rented a flat from a family and after few weeks after we prepared everything, cleaned and furnished, she made a party and all these men came!!!! Three stayed for the night and two decided to return the second night. One brought a kannabis plant with him in a big black plastic bag. I was furious to say. Called the landlord immediately, packed my bags, handed him the money and literally went to a hotel that night. Thank goodness soon the Uni gave me a room in the halls, so this woman hates me to this day. And I don't bloody care. I hope the landlord called the police on her also.

I do think world is different now and there are more accommodation options available than staying with distant relatives, also some people are very hard to get rid once they get comfortable as threads on here prove !

However I had a tough time as a teen and a relatives friend took me a lot of weekends, her husband worked away so she always said she liked the company but I was 18, very un self aware and she had a beautiful house with a lovely bed and TV in the spare room. I think I may have been too comfortable when I look back. Unfortunately my relative and her fell out so I lost touch with her but may see if I can find her on social media and just send a thank you from the past inspired by this thread

I think her chickens have come home to roost. The answer should be no.

And to throw in a couple of other sayings:

• no good deed goes unpunished
• guests, like fish, begin to smell after the 3rd day.

Don't do it. I went to uni in another country and am from a small but cute Balkan country. I got tens of requests to open my house and winery for free over the years. I worked hard and was busy. That meant giving food and wine for free. Nope. Sorry. There is a guest house in the nearby hill above the village, they charge good rates and you are welcome to stay there, I will notify them if you are interested. My house is locked and I am up the hill doing my job

Oh it was very sad actually. He still doesn’t have a permanent home and moves from place to place. He’s been very unfortunate with employment despite a lot of effort. But it didn’t work for us to have an unintended lodger who had different waking hours to the rest of us and no ability to contribute to bills! Sadly it’s made me much more hesitant to put people up, but you have to be sensible don’t you.

There are organisations where you can offer a room to a visitor from elsewhere. I wonder if this might be a better approach for these people.

Of course it's fine to say no. It's also fine to say yes.
I grew up in a house where my parents took in many people - distant relatives, friends of friends, even strangers - once they took in a teen mum who had nowhere to stay. I have fond memories of people drifting in and out of my life and meeting people from all over the world. And people hosted us everywhere too, when we travelled we stayed with people rather than in hotels. A friend of my mum's took in my brother for 6 weeks when he was 10 or 11, so he could go to school in their country. I'm glad I experienced that life.

This! Who cares what the parents are like. Make better connections.

Im sure the OP would be happy to pass on your address.

there's s big difference between friends asking & ex friends.

Oh please.

If you want to do this kind of thing, fine. I wouldn’t, for all the tea in China.

She’s a cheeky fucker. And her kid may have the same nasty behaviour barbed humour of the dad.

Ignore. Block and delete if necessary.

I definitely wouldn't, what a mad woman! 😄😄

Wheres the lady who was asking for a 'cheeky fucker' thread, she should see your op!

Yanbu at all x

That might have been me many moons ago although my parents and the person whose home I decamped to were still speaking. My parents friend was much kinder than I deserved.

God yeah, cheeky fuckerism at it's finest. I cringe when I think about it.

I’m a big believer in altruism , we actually did host a teenager on their gap year through a loose connection and a week turned into a 2 months....
It probably wasn’t the teenagers fault (they were 18) but they just had zero awareness about offering help or a couple of quid for food and board etc and expected lifts etc , I think it was just total lack of awareness which is probably normal for some at that age.
I’m patient and very much into helping people out in life where I can but I’m also someone who has had a very difficult background and had to drag myself up and deal with a lot of stuff alone from around 16 so I found it a lot more difficult than I thought I would to deal with the selfishness and lack of awareness……
I also was 31 with 3 very small kids so probably wasn’t the best time to host , I’ve been given zero support all my own life .
There are serious CFs in the world , for some of my inlaws it’s a lifestyle choice , constantly asking to stay in people’s houses for their holidays, constantly looking for freebies, they ask directly putting people in very awkward situations. The only way to deal with them is directly. My sil actually said “oh we’ll send dc to you as he can learn ether language and enjoy learning about the culture we live in once he’s 15 “. She was literally acting as though it was a statement, not a request. I simply said , “nope , we have our own three teens and don’t want to host another and have extra responsibility”. The arrogance… almost like she was saying it in a “he’d love to go to you and you’d love it 😂😂😂😂

CF.

Silly you. Are you even asking such a question?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5379622-impostor-guests-our-3-night-emergency-guests-werent-who-they-said-they-were?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Here they are! The imposter guests.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5392400-what-would-you-do-if-someone-you-met-on-holiday?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Here's the other uninvited guest thread from earlier today. I can't find the chocolate, wine and half eaten strawberries family right now, which is a shame because it was wonderful reading and a cautionary tale about what could happen if you say yes.

I dont think its rude to ask, but equally not rude to say no. When I was 18, I moved to London and stayed with the son of my Grans friend for a couple of months until I found some flat mates. I had never met the son and barely knew my Grans friend. I didnt like living there for the short time I did, and the man was a bit odd, but if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have been able to take up the job opportunity I had in London at that time so im definitely greatful. If my child wanted/needed to spend time in a place where i had a connection, i wouldn't hesitate to ask no matter how much time had passed.

I think some of us have been on Mumsnet too long!