Lodger freakout deposit IDKif i can do this anymore

I don't understand the texting either. Op also said regarding the energy bill 'maybe she left the heating on all night', how would the op not know that's what she was doing if they live in the same home? There's something not right.

The other threads (assuming it's the same woman) make no sense.

She's apparently living in a lovely semi detached house which seemingly is also 1 bed and tiny. She's a teacher, obsessed with designer shoes and has been single for a long time (but was considering buying a wedding dress). It's hard to see how the sad event of a stillbirth fits into this, though obviously single doesn't necessarily mean celibate.

I think there's a lot more going on here. I'm just not sure what

Either way, this living arrangement was awful, potentially exploitative (on the lodger!) and everyone involved seems a bit bonkers if I'm honest.

Can you airbnb a kitchen?

Or even an ordinary mortgage.

I'd have thought £650 a month would include bills and cannot see how having a long shower every day would total £1000 for one quarter.

It sounds to me as though you need to make an effort to be grown up and live alone. Presumably one of you lives and sleeps downstairs and the other, upstairs.

If you need extra income you could let one room to air b'n'b for a week or two here and there. I understand that is quite lucrative and you'd have no problem in having to put up with someone you don't like for long - and have some respite in between.

If trust has broken down and you're scared of her (through no fault of hers), you can check her room, give her reasonable notice, return her deposit (making sure to allow for wear and tear), return any rent payment she makes beyond her notice period, and pay your own energy bills and mortgage.

All this about being scared, needing people to come and intimidate her, worrying about the state of things when there is nothing to stop you entering a lodger's room and checking, sounds like a drama to persuade yourself or others that you are justified in keeping this poor woman's money. Unless she has damaged your property, you aren't.

Do what you need to do for your mental well-being. She has no rights to stay. Give her back her money. You have no right to it.

You'll feel better when you do the right thing and draw a line under this drama.

Well stop saying that then and do something! We can’t do it for you

OP states gas bill. In the first post. It’s confusing.

Please read the full thread

In OPs other thread, she mentions she has to have this situation because she cant live alone.
Maybe MH related, as in scared of being by herself?

OP if you are still reading, maybe it would make more sense to leave (and sell) yoir flat and move in with your partner

this thread is crazy...apparently op has an inexplicable £1000 electricity bill in a 1up1down house which she is blaming her lodger for, and blatantly planning on keeping the lodger's deposit to pay it. the lodger can obviously anticipate this so is trying to ensure she gets her deposit back by reducing the rent. op's response to this is to invite men over to the house to try to scare this poor woman, and this thread's advice is that op is being a pushover if she does anything less than kick her out, change the locks and make her homeless tomorrow.

and then in the very same thread there are people lamenting that landlords arent all bad!

zero self awareness whatsoever.

She hasn't got an agreement, nothing, it is completely off the books.

OP doesn't have rights to demand anything, which is why she is planning on keeping the womans deposit to pay her own bills, because in OPs words she's 'not a charity' and has a 'fucking mortgage to pay'.

These people don't have a written contract and the OP can't account for the energy bill and is contesting it with the company. There's no grounds to apply a fair usage policy. We simply don't know that the lodger is responsible for anything like half the increase in energy.

I did read that, but most lodger agreements include a fair usage policy. If the lodger has been using excessive amounts of gas/elec, then it is fair to ask for an increase in the amount they pay.

e.g. a friend of mine had a lodger who got a new job that was working from home 3 days a week. My friend was out at work all day so heating was off all day, and didn't come on until 4.30pm in winter to warm the house before she got home. This lodger wanted the heating on during the day so it was agreed this would be fine but they had to pay for the extra usage as it put the bills up massively!

It is nothing like 2 studio apartments. Lodger sleeps in the kitchen, OP cooks under the stairs and they argue over the shared bathroom. It's really strange.

That would work in other situations, but this lodger never agreed to pay bills. They were included in her rent. See OP's other thread.

If that is her, and it sounds like it is, the other post helps explain how the water heating bill was so high after a year.
The arrangements look like two studio apartments, so not that strange.

The OP needs to have a contract if she does this again so that both are clear as to what is included. She also would need to just take the hit with the high water heating/gas/electric bill and be smarter next time.

Bloody hell. The lodger’s room is a shared space in a small house in Cambridge and the £650 does include bills?

Fuck. OP is not the innocent victim she made herself out to be. Hope the lodger gets her deposit back.

I read the full OP's posts. I just find it odd how posters, like yourself, can get their jollies attacking and castigating all the fricking time.

But then, I guess I am part of the "capitalist machine". My statement stands.

@ForOliveTiger

You will need to be assertive here.

I assume her rent for July was due yesterday on the 1st of the month, which meant she would stay until 31st July?

You need to WRITE to her rather than back and forth whatsapp messages:

"Dear <lodger>. Your lodger rent of £XXX that was due on 1st July has not been paid. If this is not paid in full by midnight on 3rd July 2025, then your lodger agreement has come to an end, and you need to move out by 6pm on 5th July 2025. Please could you also pay your outstanding share of the gas/electric bill of £XXX, which needs to be paid by midnight on 3rd July 2025. Again, if you are not able to pay this, then I consider the lodger agreement to be terminated and ask you to leave by 6pm on 5th July 2025. Thank you, <you>".

As she is a lodger and not a tenant, then no deposit protection required and no rights to remain in your house. You just have to give reasonable notice, which is 48 hours.

If she doesn't pay or leave, then wait until she goes out and change the locks.

She turned off electricity and wifi???! So the lodger is not getting full use of what she is paying for? I would elect not to pay last rent either.

OP clearly doesn’t have a clue about energy, she’s simply decided to blame it on her lodger.

I’m just wondering if she’s been bitten by previous landlords not giving her deposit back so she’s trying to safeguard it? Not saying she’s doing the right thing but could be a reason rather than that she’s damaged anything.

I rented before the deposit scheme came in place and our landlords kept most of our deposit with each move until we ended up homeless as we couldn’t afford a new deposit on a new property.

Yes she did. Right there in the opening post,

If it’s one bedroom how are you high living there? I’m getting the impression she’s not your lodger but an actual tenant .

And that thread says bills are included in the lodger's rent

OP (if any of this is true) is not the victim here.