To choose convenience over facilities for 3 month old starting nursery?

Why prioritizing motherhood in first 3 years is critical - WTOP News Link

Have you spoken to your health visitor about how you're feeling?

It's very unusual to want to be away from such a tiny baby at such a young age. Babies need a primary care giver until they are ideally three years old. Three months is absurdly young to be away from his mother for such a long time.

Have you read any books about attachment at all? Do you feel attached to your baby?

I'm not sure how you can be so flippant about being separated. Id move heaven and earth to stay with my children and yes, I've had three babies who haven't slept through until they are two so I understand sleep deprivation. I also run my own business so I get it, it's difficult, but babies need consistent, loving care from one person.

How about cold? hungry? wet?

Honestly OP I find mums net really isn’t a true reflection on reality! There were plenty of babies at my ones nursery when he started. Lots seem to start around the 4 month mark. They were all very well carried for and seem very happy toddlers now. The staff adored baby cuddles. Do what’s best for you and your family only you know what that is ❤️

Post-partum women are nowhere near as vulnerable as 3 month old babies. It's not unkind to tell an adult that they should be putting their baby's needs above their own.

Same in the Netherlands! People are very dramatic and judgemental on this thread. Blown out amygdalas ffs.

Most of my daughter's year 3 class have been to nursery since they were 3 months old, I don't believe for a second that they are all emotionally misadjusted like some posters are claiming. I'm currently pregnant and this DC will go to nursery 3 days a week when she is 4 months old, as is the norm here. Most people, myself included, don't have the privilege to take such a long maternity leave.

Option 1 sounds like the better option for your family.

But I agree with the other responses that 3 months is too young for nursery environment. They should be at home with you or Dad this young if at all possible.

At 3 months old, babies are still forming strong emotional bonds and developing their sense of safety and trust. Being with someone who loves them and responds to their needs consistently helps them to build that secure attachment, which is a really important for emotional and social development.

Nurseries can be great for toddlers but they’re often busy, chaotic environments that can’t provide the one-2-one attention that a tiny baby needs. It can be really overwhelming for a small baby who needs to feed/nap on demand and not nursery routine.

The early months would be better spent in quiet more homely setting with a parent or trusted caregiver.

Can you or DH take longer mat/pat leave? That would be the best for your baby.

And I think my point is that all post partum women are vulnerable and it shouldn’t take another older post being dropped into the chat for us to be sensitive/kind. You never know what people are dealing with (and they shouldn’t have to tell you everything until they’re ready or happy to) so it’s best to lead with understanding and kindness, even if your opinion is very different to your own.

and I also do worry about one person looking after DS......

It's much, much better for such a young baby in particular to just have one primary caregiver.

I think a contributory factor in OP's depression and exhaustion might be because of her DH's strange attitude to his baby's needs, judging by her other threads. OP seems to be treading on eggshells round him, not least having to provide him with researched 'evidence' before he'll accept any advice. She doesnt need that, for sure.

OP stop trying to appease your DH and get some real life support. Your parents must have noticed the odd dynamic? Maybe a nursery would be the best option in your circumstances - and I can hardly believe that I wrote that!

I agree that the OP needs help, I’m just not sure the addition of the older post was necessary. Whilst I agree this post adds more context, I feel like that was info for the OP to share with us (rather than an old post being brought up by someone else). And other posters may not be ready or willing to open up about such details - they are still super venerable, we just don’t know it.

So I think generally we should approach women who are in the post partum phase with a crazy amount of sensitively (which has not happened in this thread).

So you would be prepared for your child to be homeless rather than go to nursery? Just crazy!!!

Nursery 1. You don’t need one that is further away, more expensive and where the staff are more focused on taking pics of the kids than looking after them, and your DC won’t be availing himself of the facilities anyway.

i would go with option one. You need to choose one based on where you feel you will be more comfortable with and be convenient, I wouldn’t worry about the facilities.

My DC went to a lovely nursery and a couple of times they had small babies there, they were carried around and cuddled. Whenever I arrived to pick up DC at various times of the day the babies in the baby room were being cuddled or held by someone.

Thank you for clarifying and I’m sorry for assuming the worst - too much time on MN! Glad we are all on the same page re supporting the OP.