To think there’s a real crisis in men being able to express how they truly feel about life and society?

Well the first thing you could do is educate yourself on the risk factors. Which are poorly treated clinical mental illness, drug and alcohol use, financial difficulties, and, in later life, there an increased risk for men who are lonely and isolated. Then, once armed with the facts, and free from the myths like they just need an opportunity to express themselves, you could get cracking on things that might make a difference. Research MH services in your area. If they're poor, lobby your MP. Look at campaigns aimed at education around drugs and alcohol. Donate to charities offering support for people in debt, such as Step Change or Citizens Advice. Join a befriending service run by Age UK. If you want to help individual men directly, volunteer for the Samaritans, MIND or one if the many drug, alcohol or gambling support charities.

I agree with 5128gap

So much has been done in the attempt to lower the suicide rates in men and to encourage them to talk about their feelings.

Men's MH has been a huge focus for years. In my area alone, there are male only support groups, male only psycoeducation groups such as emotions for men, social groups like football, male only walking groups, cinema outings and so on. Then we have men sheds. There are also hubs where men can go to talk in a crisis as well as the crisis phone lines and a program with intense support for men who are suicidal.

We do have a MH crisis on our hands, but it includes women and young people too. In my experience, when men of a certain age are suicidal the risk is taken very seriously by the professionals around them (if they are involved of course).

My husband has severe mental health problems and almost ended up in hospital due to his high risk of completing suicide recently. If god forbid, he becomes a 'statistic', it won't be because he didn't have the space and opportunities to talk, or the inability to express himself.

I've already posted about male suicide a page or so ago, so I'm not going to repeat myself. Suffice to say, I do not accept male suicide stats as evidence of a crisis of good men enable to express their feelings, and actually consider it disrespectful to women bereaved by suicide.
So, yes please, I do want more evidence. Evidence that men do not have a platform upon which to express their feelings, and that this is causing a crisis situation.
Then, like you, id like to know what we're supposed to be doing about it that we're not already.

It’s me and the majority of women I know.

Because it's largely irrelevant.

I mean, are we seriously getting into a debate about what 'kinds' of men are taking their own lives and passing judgement on whether some are 'any great loss'? Sorry but that's utterly vile rhetoric that I'm not getting involved with.

I'm just interested what we can do to stop men (the focus of this thread!) killing themselves.

Respectfully, that's you. In the main, women are more likely to discuss things than men are...

It's helpful to have some evidence that the problem is what it's purported to be.

Are you joking? Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 30. This is a known fact - what more evidence do you need?

For me personally, I want to know what I can do to ensure that none of the amazing men in my life become a statistic. I'm glad someone has started a thread to discuss it.

Agree with this.

I’ll also add when women do talk about issues, it’s not taken as seriously; women’s health and crimes against women being prime examples.

I often wonder if the reason there is more concern over men is because they are more of a danger to everyone including other men than women are when they’re angry, feeling sad/isolated, and hard done by whether they realistically are or not.

Re. dating This is how entitled some of them are Despite this poster stating in her dating profile that she does not date people with children, he hid the fact that he has a child hoping she would "fall for him" first.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4722491-he-has-a-son

This did make me laugh 😂

What are men saying that you think isn't being listened to/liked?

And yet we had to study Lord of the Flies at school in the 80s and there isnt one female character in it. Pissed me off but we had to suck it up.

Thank you, and you too.

Maybe we should have popped out to brunch with girlfriends to chat about it. That’s all it takes for women apparently

on a serious note I’m sorry things got that bad for you and I hope they’re better now ❤️

When I was suicidal I thought that if I told anyone, they’d take my children away.

Here’s that attitude again that women will just chat to anyone about their issues. When people say things like that it makes it seem like women’s issues are easier to talk about and trivialises them.

I certainly didn’t talk to anyone when I felt suicidal.

again, more women than men attempt suicide - women aren’t talking about their issues either but everyone assumes wrongly that we are. Or they don’t care that we’re not because men have it bad too.

Not all, some want to pay. Some want to pay as they feel it is what men do. However we also have some want to pay because it will give them ammo to press for that to be paid back in kind and that won't be shared with her until after. She's been treated to a meal so he needs treating in return.

This is so common that meals out are a transaction to men.

Well they have embraced the equality of going halves on dates.

If men who are lonely are in a precarious position that they can seek to harm themselves over it then surely those same men mocking women for that very same thing such as dying alone etc - shouldn't that be an issue that they are in effect supporting female suicide or wanting it to happen?

Isn't that an horrible realisation that men wouldn't mock men being alone or lonely because they might just kill themselves and that would be awful and be a crisis but men would openly mock women because well, they might just....kill themselves or attempt and that is not a crisis as it is woman.

How awful to realise men will openly mock women knowing the same thing could kill a man but they do not care about doing that to women and how their actions could also lead to the same outcome.

Yes and all the while it is men who are mocking women about them being alone.

We have a male loneliness epidemic yet we have a situation where men are mocking women and trying to humiliate them for living alone. Women who live alone are portrayed as odd, crazy, mental etc. Not just woman enjoying peace etc. The 'crazy cat lady' line and the 'dying alone' is used so frequently to try and humiliate and shame women who live alone because how dare they chose being alone over men.

The issue is that loneliness and being alone are viewed very differently when it comes to men and women.

Women's loneliness and/or being alone is seen as a choice and an affront to men. Whereas men's loneliness is seen as women's fault. That women are withholding both attention and support.

I'm personally less concerned with male suicide directly (I think it's tragic, but fundamentally agree with @5128gap ) but more with how society will be affected/eroded by having masses of young and middle-aged men who are semi-permanently alienated from purpose and connection (work and family life).

I don't think the issue is that they don't talk enough - as many people have commented either positively or negatively, they do talk about their problems as a whole but we're either not listening or don't like what they're saying.

I don't think a lot of modern culture is great for women (see previous comments about consoling friends devastated by hookup culture, e.g.) - but I think en masse it's dangerous to have a huge bloc of disenfranchised and alienated men.

Telling them to open up to the mums more, so we can give them a hug and remind them to not be misogynistic, is just...

The leading causes of male suicide include untreated or poorly treated clinical mental illness, drug and alcohol dependency and financial difficulties. Many men who lose their lives to suicide leave behind loving partners and mothers who offer every opportunity to talk, who attempt repeatedly to access help for them from (inadequate and over stretched) services, who urge them to address their substance misuse, who share the financial burden and offer reassurance. Of course some men who take their lives are lonely and isolated and the inability to talk may have exacerbated their problems. But there's something I find deeply uncomfortable about framing a platform to express themselves that women who 'wanted to' could do 'something' about as a key protective factor. Not least because people bereaved by suicide often suffer significant misplaced guilt as it is. To be sending the message that mothers, partners and sisters should be doing 'something' more to prevent it sits very badly with me.

No we cannot change men’s misogynistic views. Only men can do that.

Well your experience doesn't stand scrutiny unfortunately. As often people don't know how to support, but could be guided and could learn. Certainly women do seem to be doing a pretty good job of supporting the men in their own lives, given men in relationships are typically mentally and physically healthier. However, the premis of the thread is that we should be doing more for men in general. So, what should we be doing?

Do they? I didn’t talk openly about my PND for fear of being judged/people thinking I’m a bad mother. I don’t talk openly about the challenges of dealing with my disabled child, for fear of being judged/people thinking I’m a bad mother. I could go on.