I got married yesterday and I can't stop crying.

The children will take this better than you tbh, my friends children lost their mother. They are fine, friends uni powering through life.

I could not scroll by without sending you a hand-hold and a hug, I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling. Do you have family who you can reach out to? Alternately, speak to the hospital chaplains, they aren’t just there for specific religious support. 💐

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Winston wish are absolutely amazing. They were a great source of support for my friend and her daughter.

This is so terribly sad for all of you. I am so pleased you have a wonderful supportive family. It sounds like those charities posters have recommended will be useful in supporting you and your children. Warm sincere thoughts to you and your lovely new husband.

Oh op, I am so sorry.

please contact the Ruth Strauss Foundation. They specialise in supporting families where a parent is terminally ill, and can help advise on how to talk to your children. They have supported my family massively.

sending a big hug to you and your family x

I'm so very sorry for what your going through. Our niece (lost her DM recently aged 5) through her school she got a lot of support from the local hospice, there are also charities like Winstons wish too.

dear @MoreThanOverwhelmed
i am so so sorry for what you’re going through. I also witnessed this with a close friend of mine. The advice here is really good.

Life is so unfair.

People will want to help you - not just your family but also your friends. Lean on those around you.

sending you much love xxx

It is an incredibly sad situation for you. My dad died when I was 6 years old and my brother 8. He also had cancer. My mother took us to see him 2 days before he died and told us the truth but obviously in a child friendly way. We were encouraged to show our feelings and not to hold anything in and she cried openly in front of us.
You must do what works for you. There is no right or wrong.

I know you probably don’t feel it but sincerest congratulations on your wedding. You evidently found a partner to love and share life with, with all is joys (children) and challenges (health). Life’s moments matter, even if they aren’t felt in the way that we had dreamed.

This weekend please try and find moments of joy and peace together.

In the coming weeks, please seek help from family, friends and support services, including as PPs have said around how to tell young children but also for yourself.

In time I hope that you and your children both take comfort and pride that you made the best of an awful hand, and gave cancer the middle finger by still celebrating love.

Sending you a ((hug)).

I am so sorry OP.

I am so sorry you are all going through this x

I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your family.

I’ve got no real advice, but from my own experience of being widowed, I can only suggest that you get support from everywhere you can, and then just take one day at a time.

The initial pain, grief and stress will gradually fade a bit, but give yourself time and look after yourself.

Best wishes to everyone 💐

I've witnessed your situation first hand that involved friends of mine.
Their first dance was heartbreaking to watch knowing he only had two months to live.
My heart goes out to you and your children.

I’m so sorry

I am so sorry op. 💐💐💐

I'm so sorry x

Life is just so bloody unfair sometimes. I’m glad you managed to get married, that will mean so much to you in the future, that special thing you did for each other at a devastating time for you both.
Telling your children will obviously be difficult but if they have visited him they will know how ill he is. Perhaps start with a simple conversation about how ill he is, and how sad you are about that. They may ask the question then. Children understand more than we think, and they may already know that their Daddy may die.
Sending my best wishes.

Oh OP, I am so very sorry. This is incredibly hard for you. I’m sure others have pointed you towards Winston’s wish. A friend used them when her DH passed suddenly a couple of years ago and their support was invaluable. Lots of love from all us mums-netter’s to you and your family

I'm so so sorry - I cant think of anything else I can say, but I'm so glad you have family support ❤️

I am so sorry, @MoreThanOverwhelmed

There's an MN thread dedicated to partners of those diagnosed with cancer.
It is full of compassion and support:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/4729740-the-storm-part-3

You need some counselling and support. Winston’s wish is amazing op. I am so sorry this is happening to you. The pain and grief you sre experiencing must be unbearable. I am so glad you have a family around you that love you, let them look after you op.

Have you got hospice support?

I am so, so sorry. How unbelievably cruel that you have to go through this when already feeling vulnerable with your own health. You have many things you are processing and grieving right now.

I don't know if you want advice, but after having a close friend go through it, this is what I would say.

You start making plans. You get your DH to write a list of things he would regret not doing.
Things like letters for the kids for their 21st birthdays or their weddings.

You make sure wills and insurance is up to date and you have his passwords for everything.

You tell the kids before things get too bad, so they have time to grieve before the end.

You book yourself time to have a bath and cry and release. Then you get up the next day and work your way down that list.

You can do this. You will be okay and the kids will be okay. You will never be the same again, but you will be okay.

Nothing about this is beautiful or the other bullshit that people say, but it can be done well. This process, this journey will be what you and your kids remember for the rest of their lives.
Which is a lot of pressure and you are having to be everything for everyone. So start simple. Start with what you can control and achieve.

Sending you an un-mumsnetty hug or handhold 💞🫂