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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
Itseatingmeup · 11/05/2025 09:41

I'd say it is possibly a red flag in a love bombing sort of way. Why would you give a virtual stranger money like that? Either you lack self respect or you're trying to draw that person in.

Imbusytodaysorry · 11/05/2025 09:41

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:57

How ?

Show quote history

Taking money of someone you haven’t met “you are the massive red flag”
Its calle seeing a user !

OhHellolittleone · 11/05/2025 09:40

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

You’re talking to brits. We don’t use venmo etc.

I think sending you money for coffee is a little desperate, but you asked for it (jokes of course ;))maybe he just likes you?

it’s a red flag to ask for money and then say it isn’t enough, jokes or not. You’re setting your stall out as a gold digger, he friends would rightfully warn him against you.

SunnySideDeepDown · 11/05/2025 09:40

I’d be mortified to be asking for coffee money, are you that hard up?

springissprung2025 · 11/05/2025 09:40

You know what you’re doing. It isn’t a joke. You’re testing the water to see how far you can go. Imagine if he ‘joked’ to you that he wanted money to buy a coffee. Now imagine you sent it. What would you think about him?

Init4thecatz · 11/05/2025 09:39

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

No, we're not buying that...

You can't feign ignorance here when you've asked him THREE TIMES.

If you actually cared, you'd have sent the money back the first time he sent it to you. Instead, you hinted that you wanted more, and then continued the game by hinting about the watch.

purpleme12 · 11/05/2025 09:38

Your updates don't change my post on the thread

roseteapot · 11/05/2025 09:38

Itisjustmyopinion · 11/05/2025 09:35

Think about it this way OP. If you had a brother and he said I have been talking to this woman online. She is nice and I have been sending her money to buy coffee. In fact today I offered to send her money for a watch but she said no

Would you not be thinking there is something odd about the woman and her possibly scamming him as well as your brother being a bit naive to send the money

As pp said you are both red flags

Exactly this. You say him sending you money is making you uncomfortable and yet you have "joked" or commented to him on three separate occasions for him to pay for something for you. WTF do you keep doing that if it makes you apparently so uncomfortable?

You are a red flag.

holjam · 11/05/2025 09:37

I don’t understand why you’re asking him for money?

Itisjustmyopinion · 11/05/2025 09:35

Think about it this way OP. If you had a brother and he said I have been talking to this woman online. She is nice and I have been sending her money to buy coffee. In fact today I offered to send her money for a watch but she said no

Would you not be thinking there is something odd about the woman and her possibly scamming him as well as your brother being a bit naive to send the money

As pp said you are both red flags

Original poster
Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

OP posts:
Init4thecatz · 11/05/2025 09:33

Send me money... OK
Send me more money... OK
Buy me a watch... OK

"Oh no, I'm such a victim and this guy is a red flag!!!"

Gnarab24 · 11/05/2025 09:31

the red flags are coming from one side and it’s not his.

Whattheduck · 11/05/2025 09:30

What a bizarre post
How old are you op

SalfordQuays · 11/05/2025 09:29

OP a month ago you’d been seeing someone for 6 months. Have you split up now?

RawBloomers · 11/05/2025 09:28

It suggests he either sees you as someone to be bought, or he is so desperate/socially awkward he doesn't know how else to get you to like him.

It also, possibly, suggests he has low standards regarding women he dates (which might go hand in hand with being desperate).

As previous posters have said - the big red flag here is YOU.

LuvACustardCream · 11/05/2025 09:23

YABU for asking for money from a man you have never met. That's utterly shameful.

Azandme · 11/05/2025 09:22

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

This!

FilthyforFirth · 11/05/2025 09:22

Oh dear, this hasn't gone the way you expected has it? To echo the others, you are the red flag and super weird tbh. Why the hell would he have your details to send you money in the first place? You seem a gold digger and he should run!

Foundationhelp · 11/05/2025 09:22

You’re the red flag. You said it was a joke, it wasn’t you asked again for more money. You were doing it to get money. He should run a mile from you

purpleme12 · 11/05/2025 09:20

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

Yes.

I can't take this thread seriously

VickyEadieofThigh · 11/05/2025 09:19

You're weird, mate.

Popquorn · 11/05/2025 09:18

The red flag is you asking for money, then sending him the route in which to send it. This is on you.

Communitywebbing · 11/05/2025 09:18

Stop asking him for money!!!!