To ask for things that happen on MN that you’ve never seen happen IRL

My mum and husband were with me at my child's birth, I would have happlily had my MIL in there too but too many people, I mean that totally genuinley

Neither asked me but I asked my mum and would have asked my MIL if my mum could not have done it

I’ve never seen a dog steal someone’s picnic or ice cream, but for some, it happens a lot.

I’ve never known 40 year olds get mistaken for teenagers.

I’ve never know vegans who ‘snaffle’ bacon sandwiches.

I have never heard of any mother or extended family being in the delivery room with their daughter. I have only seen it on her - MIL & Mother want to be at the birth!

his seems to be a lovely light hearted thread, but this is actually extremely offensive. As a 4 times sepsis survivor in my mid 30s (due to existing medical needs) the concept that it is something someone lies or exaggerates about is disgusting.

why would you assume that people are exaggerating or being
untruthful about something that is so unbelievably serious? Vile.

let’s hope you don’t have to write goodbye letters to your toddler aged children, discuss how your partner will be able to pay the mortgage without your salary and burial wishes.

@AffIt
This seems to be a lovely light hearted thread, but this is actually extremely offensive. As a 4 times sepsis survivor in my mid 30s (due to existing medical needs) the concept that it is something someone lies or exaggerates about is disgustingly.

why would you assume that people are exaggerating or being
untruthful about something that is so unbelievably serious? Vile.

let’s hope you don’t have to write goodbye letters to your toddler aged children, discuss how your partner will be able to pay the mortgage without your salary and burial wishes.

My knowledge of the Stunt Pineapple is from @theformidableMrsC taking one into court with her when she self represented against her abusive ex in their divorce. It was a bit of a 'you had to be there' and 'if you know, you know'.

She won, as she did every single time the piece of shit and his manky OW (Yes, Pineapple Pauline, I am looking at you!) took her to court until they were judged to be vexatious litigants. No idea if that was the start of it, but it was fucking joyous to see that photo!

My friend is 15 years younger than her DH.

Every time age gap relationships are mentioned, a tonne of women suddenly appear to talk about their awful experiences with them… I’ve never met anyone else with a considerable AGR irl

My best friend has had sepsis. My MIL died from sepsis.

The first two, definitely more than once or twice. I absolutely hate the sexy child thing. It’s wrong on so many levels.

As for people asleep on a park bench? Yes, I can’t believe you’ve never seen anyone @JandamiHash .

I 99% agree and the other 1% I dont look at who is in bathrooms that closely to tell

@GarlicPile Yes! I remember it from comics. I love surnames, fascinating at times and often I find them funny. Like Mr Crack - “missed her crack”…… I”ll get me coat!

My son was blue lighted to hospital with it and survived.

Edited to add he was abroad when he was 19 and didn't get a tooth abscess dealt with quickly enough. One day after realising he had it, he was undergoing emergency surgery in the ER and spent a week on IV antibiotics. Just a general health announcement never to neglect an abscess!

Transwomen in the ladies’ toilets. So, so many of them!

I've never heard anyone say 'boak' but am pretty sure it used to crop up often in comics like Beano and Dandy. You've gotta find a way to write that disgusted noise! It's no dafter than 'bleugh', really.

I’ve never seen someone cajole their daughter into the aisle at a wedding so they can be a stealth bridesmaid

I sort of saw this one but it predates MN by decades.

Back in 1982 my Uncle (22 at the time) was getting married and of course all us neices hoped to be BM's. But there was 9 of us and the bride had a single neice and nephew. She chose them as her attendants. Even as a 9 year old I got it. My cousins (or rather, my aunt) wasnt having it. She bought her three DD's matching bridesmaid dresses (80's bridesmaid dresses were not subtle!) and manufactured a reason to not go into the church until after the bride.

Except that one of the ushers stopped her and my cousins and made them wait until the bride made her entrance and then made them sit at the back. They werent in any of the official photos. I found out donkeys years later (was in my 40's) that my Uncle had a hunch that she would do this so had a plan to stop her! Always felt sorry for my cousins though as they had been told they were BM's by my aunt and they were within 3 years either way of me agewise. So cruel.

I don’t know anyone who’s child is ASD or ADHD yet on Mumsnet it seems that everyone’s is

I have never seen a stunt pineapple in the wild.

I have never heard anyone use the word “boak” but read it on here a lot. Made me laugh when I was looking at a list of staff at a school, and one is Mrs Boak.

atleast you have not ''got your ducks in a row''

My cousins 17 year old daughter died of it.

I've never heard or read the phrase "give your head a wobble" anywhere else, and it really grates on me when I read it on here. I know I am being unfair - it's just a phrase like any other - but it seems weirdly prissy to me - as if people are using it instead of "grow the fuck up", or "sort your shit out" or something a bit punchier.

Also, you know when people start doing that craven super-submissive thing on here,. When a load of posters inexplicably gang up on them, rather than biting back or stepping away, some OPs start falling over themselves in their haste to apologise for existing and thinking their thoughts - that's when the phrase "I have given my head a wobble" often seems to rear its head. No you haven't, I want to shout, what you have done is allowed yourself to be cowed by a lot of outspoken strangers on the internet .....

Unfair? Perhaps I should give my head a wobble, and stop objecting to it ...

I say No quite a lot! I learned it at a women's assertiveness course - it was startling how difficult we all (even my stubborn, outspoken self) found it. Things I don't see on Mumsnet and wish I did: women taking assertiveness courses.

I had sepsis from a tooth extraction. Loads of people get it, especially women after a difficult birth.

I don't answer the door. I'm a grumpy, lazy hermit with mobility problems - I live upstairs and they've usually gone by the time I get there anyway. I bought a door camera months ago, but haven't put it up because, if I'm honest, I don't even want to speak to whoever's there 😬

I hear fewer people calling children sexy these days, and am glad of it. Used to be ever so common.

I love tales of batshit behaviour! Humans actually are pretty strange, OP. If you keep your eyes and ears open, you'll be fascinated, horrified, puzzled, impressed and amused by us all.

@JandamiHash you are very fortunate then. I know someone who died and last year a close relative nearly lost their life to sepsis and is still recovering from the after effects. Unlike everything else mentioned on this thread which is very anecdotal and often exaggerated by posters, sepsis is very real and the very real statistic is that 5 people die every hour in the UK from sepsis, that’s one person every 12 minutes or 48,000 people a year. Thats not including the ones who survive.

I learnt this from mumsnet years ago- at least 15 years, and use it whenever I can!
No IS a complete sentence!

I’m going to assume that the comment about not liking children being called “sexy” was from a comment I made earlier tonight on a thread we were both on, because otherwise this is a wild coincidence….

But yes, just to reiterate what I said earlier, people really DO call their child sexy, and inexplicably they defend it.

Here’s a recent thread on MN about this exact subject, with plenty of posters describing people they’ve seen doing it 😩

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5318168-man-in-the-park-calling-a-baby-sexy-aibu-to-consider-reporting