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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
JustMyView13 · 16/02/2025 06:41

This sounds like the type of intimate wedding only close family and friends would be invited to. If I was close in relation or friend, then absolutely. If this was more an acquaintance then probably not.
I don’t go to weddings to be entertained, I go to celebrate the bride and groom on their special day.

Cctviswatchingme001 · 16/02/2025 06:41

I was a witness at a close family members wedding. It was the bride and groom, their two children and two witnesses. Ceremony was ten minutes and then we went for a meal. I was home by 5pm, it was great.

Personally I'm not a fan of big weddings so the wedding above would be ideal for me. Short, commute, dinner and home. No overnight stay perfect.

SALaw · 16/02/2025 06:34

This is totally fine. The meal and socialising ARE the party. I thought you were going to say it was ceremony only. I have attended a wedding like this and it was lovely.

farmlife2 · 16/02/2025 06:28

TriangleLight · 16/02/2025 06:17

I think it’s a bit rubbish as people won’t be able to drink so it could be a bit muted and everyone off sharp

If you need alcohol to have a good time, the event is wanting. You can have a great time without having to booze.

TriangleLight · 16/02/2025 06:17

I think it’s a bit rubbish as people won’t be able to drink so it could be a bit muted and everyone off sharp

OneTwinklyPlumBeaker · 16/02/2025 06:14

I think that sounds perfect. I can't see the problem. If the wedding is only an hour away what is the need for an overnight stay?

farmlife2 · 16/02/2025 06:11

That's not even 'travel' and yes, I'd go to one. It sounds more like an intimate affair for people you're very close to? I think it's a great idea to do a simple wedding then out for dinner.

Pollymollydolly · 16/02/2025 06:09

mondaytosunday · 16/02/2025 05:18

Weddings go on hug far too long in this country. The ceremony, a few drinks and a meal is plenty.

Really?! I’ve always been surprised at how early British weddings end, every one I’ve attended has ended at midnight.

skilpadde · 16/02/2025 06:04

I think this is fine, so long as the couple are upfront about the arrangements with invitees, and nobody inadvertently books a hotel for it in anticipation of a big drunken night.

DisforDarkChocolate · 16/02/2025 05:49

Lack of dancing would be perfect for me. We had an early evening meal in a nice pub and people stayed for a few hours after we left (we'd put a bus on for most of the guests). No one complained about the lack of dancing.

TimeForATerf · 16/02/2025 05:39

The hour plus 30 minutes to the venue is fine. Why do they have to stay overnight?

One of us would drive. Sounds like a perfect wedding with no evening reception, IMO the evening dancing is the shit part, I’ve had enough by then.

Samsonshairdresser · 16/02/2025 05:39

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5275319-wedding-lunacy

have a look at this thread? Is it from your other half???

Savemefromwetdog · 16/02/2025 05:25

I wouldn’t consider this a lot of travel - fairly normal commute time in the SE.

Sounds absolutely fine to me

mondaytosunday · 16/02/2025 05:19

Go on for far too long obviously 🤦🏻

mondaytosunday · 16/02/2025 05:18

Weddings go on hug far too long in this country. The ceremony, a few drinks and a meal is plenty.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 16/02/2025 05:12

cinnamonbunfight · 16/02/2025 00:10

But it includes a meal and socialising! The thread title made it sound like it was only the ceremony. This sounds fine to me. Presumably nobody’s forcing the guests to come if they don’t want to.

Agree.

renthead · 16/02/2025 04:59

I'd honestly prefer this! The dancing is usually my least favourite part of a wedding. And an hour's drive is really no distance at all.

Zanatdy · 16/02/2025 04:57

It would suit me as approaching 50, I like to be in bed early these days!

Bournetilly · 16/02/2025 04:37

An hour isn’t far and it includes a meal / socialising. I think it’s fine.

RawBloomers · 16/02/2025 04:35

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/02/2025 02:59

40 or so years ago most weddings in England consisted of a ceremony and meal. Guests might go on to a pub afterwards but often the bride and groom had left. I went to several where I had overnight stays. Scottish weddings had dancing as standard. Don't know about Irish or Welsh.

Show quote history

I was thinking a bit longer ago than that. In the 80s every wedding I went to (and they were all in England) had dancing after the wedding breakfast. Maybe that was more about local tradition? Or because they were all in their early/mid 20s?

But my point was, despite the fact some guests did travel, people still had way fewer acquaintances to invite who didn’t live locally.

FarmGirl78 · 16/02/2025 04:29

Hooray for people who have weddings like this. I absolutely hate events were ⅔ of the guests are sat round the edges of a dark room trying to make conversation by shouting over music that only ⅓ has any interest in.

RedPlums · 16/02/2025 04:09

I suspect you’re the bride because this sounds perfect. People are so f ing grabby though I’m sure there will be complainers.

countrygirl99 · 16/02/2025 04:05

It's hardly travel. A lot of people have a daily commute that long.

HideousKinky · 16/02/2025 04:03

I'd be happy to attend a wedding like that - so often they are tediously over-long

LittleBigHead · 16/02/2025 03:50

That sounds like a pretty normal wedding to me. The important thing is witnessing the marriage and celebrating it with people you love.

Invite whom you wish and it’s up to them if they want to attend. If you were family or friend of mine, I’d attend if I were able to.