Welp i yelled so angerly at my 6 year old yesterday

Wow that's rude! A six year nt child can still display behaviour that seems like they are being outright naughty but actually are seeking attention anyway they can get. Maybe look into the behaviours of little ones and see the studies that explain why kids do the things they do rather than the backwards notion that only kids with learning difficulties do these things. I would have been cross too in the moment but I wouldn't have sworn at my dd and certainly wouldn't have carried on the punishment the next day. And yes I would have asked her to clean up the mess with me too. There's nothing wrong with trying to find the reasons behind behaviour. I hope that people don't just assume the worst of you as you go through life with all the insecurity that can bring.

Assuming she doesn’t have special needs, she knew what she was doing was wrong. No issue in shouting at her - she needs to know she fucked up. If she’s scared or uncomfortable, good. It’s called teaching them a lesson, i.e. discipline! I certainly wouldn’t be giving cuddles and bedtime stories after my child was deliberately naughty ffs.

The swearing was wrong and also make sure the anger/punishment doesn’t continue to the next day.

Hang on- she acted up the night before a dentist appointment and you have to come on here and wonder why she did it?

So it never occured to you that her behaviour might be due to anxiety about the appointment?

Also children model the adults around them so expect some screaming without self control in the near future.

At 6 years old, she should know better. I agree there should be consequences to bad behaviour.

However, I feel quite sorry for your DD. Happy, settled kids don’t deliberately throw stuff down the stairs. It sounds like she’s seeking attention.

Why doesn’t she have a proper bedtime routine? You read to her sometimes?! Wow. At 6, you should be reading with her every night.

Instead of screaming and swearing, perhaps question how you should be stepping up as a parent.

Unless your 6 year old has learning difficulties they will be able to connect spreading powder all over the house on Wednesday night with no tv/iPad on Thursday @WingingItSince1973

Gentle parenting innit.

I’d have yelled too, maybe even have sworn (not the F word but something like holy shit!). I’d have got her to help clean up and that would have been the end of it as I don’t believe in drawn out punishments.

Well she won't do that again 😂 sometimes children need a good shock to the system that their behaviour won't be tolerated! I don't agree with the gentle parenting asking why she throw it down the stairs she done it because she was being naughty!
I honestly believe putting a stop to bad behaviour while they are young will save you a lot of teenage hell. X

Overreacting can have equal or even worse longterm effects than under reacting. If you ‘lose it’s to this extent every time your daughter makes a mistake or acts impulsively, she will grow up into an anxious person who worries about setting a foot wrong, or will always take the safer choices in life so not to rock the boat. Those who have grown up in volatile environments are far more likely to be with an abusive partner when they’re older as well, because blown up disagreements have become the norm.

What you need to do it sit down with her, apologise for swearing and shouting without excusing it. Then ask why she did what she did, why did she not feel she could tell you she’d made a mess so you could both rectify it. Find some chores for her to do, and give her back her treats as a reward for doing them.

You shouldn't have sworn and shouted but at the same time I can see why you did. We all shout at our kids sometimes. I'm not sure what you should do in this situation but she needs to know that doing stuff like that is naughty. Maybe she wanted the reaction/attention though? As she didn't want to go to bed this is a way for her to get you to come upstairs and give her attention despite it being bad attention.

@Fraaances that's not correct. Kids don't feel secure when someone's shouted for them to f get into bed and then punished them over and over the next day. Would you feel that way if an adult did that to you? It's not pandering to kids to try and work out the reason for the action. You know get to the crux of it! There are a lot of messed up adults today who were raised by parents just shouting and smacking. No one is saying it's soft parenting it's actually well thought out parenting. If OP felt too stressed to do it that night there was plenty of opportunity at the cafe the next day rather than feel smug she's carried on the punishment. Children's brains aren't like adult brains. Isn't it best to try and work out what's going on for them? Surely that raised kids who feel safe and confident than those terrified to step out of line and all their emotions get bottled up. I was going to say to op that we all loose it at times. Parenting is flipping hard work when these little people do really bizarre things but then she seemed proud to have kept the punishment going the next day. That's not parenting that's just being spiteful.

@lalabugirl Don't feel bad for letting your kid know that you are a human being who is entitled to have negative reactions to her behaviour. Kids actually feel safer with clear boundaries and these nebulous “they’re only kids” people are doing a disservice to their children.

You sound like a mean mum. You could’ve dealt with it much better. No shouting, swearing or draconian punishments.

She did it to get your attention and get out of bed you need to work on bedtime....I'd have got her to clean it up in the morning...with my help.
Sometimes we shout doesn't make you awful when you're exhausted and on your own dealing with a nightmare bedtime many would have a scream ....next time walk away and take a few deep breaths

Oh forgot to add she did the talc thing as she knew that would be the best way to get your attention. Even if the attention is you laying into her not just once but carrying on the next day. It's the way kids desperately needing attention think.

I think your daughter is feeling very frustrated and needs more one to one attention from you. You say you do chores at night instead of reading to her and doing a bedtime routine? I think you need to forget the chores for half and hour and spend some quality time with your little girl. When children start doing things completely random like this it's tempting to put it down to just being naughty but a lot of the time there's some underlying cause. Rather than let her grow up being scared of you, let her grown up thinking you're the person she can rely on and trust. Just because your mum smacked you as punishment doesn't mean it's right as you say you were scared to do anything because of this and your keeping the cycle going.

I don't really, I would tell them not to do something when they were little and they have turned out respectful, kind and intelligent.

Sorry you don't believe in any punishment at all? So your children can do whatever they like?

Actually, even if my siblings and I were not well behaved, they still wouldn't have sworn at us at 6. We were spoken to about current affairs, society and our place in it pretty much from 7 onwards, in age appropriate way and I think that makes you develop a moral code pretty quickly that stops you from making choices that are unkind.

Such rubbish, I have one adult teenager and a younger one, they don't have any of these issues and the eldest who is an adult is emotionally self regulated, kind been offered all his top university places.

I was brought up similarly and had what people would refer to as 'liberal' parents, it was much more unusual in the 80s/90s and I was pretty much well behaved (I'm sure I had my moments) and did well academically. It is untrue that this upbringing leads to Teenagers that are out of control. In fact thinking back to the teenagers that were out of control in my neighbourhood, all of them had shouty, strict parents!

Six year olds don't do this behaviour because they are happy settled children. Yes your dd needs consequences for her actions. No she shouldn't be shouted/sworn at (though understandable you lost your rag)! I wouldn't keep bringing it up either deliver punishment and move on.

But look why she is doing these attention seeking behaviour does she have a good routine at home? Boundaries, positive attention? Is she ok at school? Socially? If you can figure out why it's happening then you can hopefully stop It.

Your only wrong was the swearing. Keep up trying to be a good parent who will have a well behaved child in the future. Hopefully, she realises from this that mummy will not accept her misbehaving. Also, have her either clean up next time if it's a small mess or have her help if it's big but since it was bedtime, i understand why you hadn't done this.

First sane response. Some responses here are why we have crazy teenagers these days who have no respect for parents, strangers, teachers and peers.

I don’t think I would have sworn but I would definitely have shouted at a 6 year old who did that, and taken away treats in the days following. A friend of mine’s son did something similar which required a lot of cleaning up at Easter time - the friend took all his Easter eggs away that year, he had none. Lesson learned.

She absolutely needs to know this isn’t acceptable behaviour and losing your sh*t is understandable - I don’t get all the comments saying otherwise. I also don’t think loss of treats/privileges for 24 hours is unreasonable - she will remember the consequences before she does something next time.
I lost it with my son like this a couple of times for similar reasons, he is now the most amazing Dad.
The only thing I would say is now things have calmed down are you able to speak to her and ask WHY she did this?

(OOI does the corn starch help with your breasts? I suffer with this and it leads to infection -desperate to get it under control).