Girl pulled dd’s pants down

Proper letter of complaint to the club they failed to supervise which led to a safeguarding issue and your child was assaulted and humiliated. I would ask for the child to be withdrawn for at least a few sessions due to serious bad behaviour. Just because there 7 it’s ridiculous it would be sexual assault in a workplace (it is at the club too) she wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t want to humiliate your child and I’m sure if yours went back next week and did it to her the parents would have a different take on this. Don’t let it go this stuff needs to change! I’m so sorry for your little one I hope it doesn’t put her off her club.

Yes, training ect would be the natural consequence of making the club aware, same with speaking to the parents….

Disgraceful response. This is absolutely a safeguarding issue and you need to speak to the HT about it asap. I'm sure the HT will treat it seriously and review the club's safeguarding measures. It's a red flag to me that they're treating it so lightly. It is peer on peer sexualised behaviour which needs to be addressed seriously, investigated and reported to the Board of Governors at their next meeting.

I'm appalled that the club and some posters are taking a, 'she said sorry what more do you want' attitude. It must have been a horrible experience for your dd and questions need to be asked about what is happening in the other child's life that she thinks this is acceptable behaviour.

And definitely old enough to know better. I can't even begin to imagine either of my children thinking this type of behaviour was OK at that age. It wouldn't even have been on their radar. I would have serious concerns about the home life of any child who did this. And even more concerns about any adult who tried to excuse it.

I find it interesting how on one hand there's lots of talk of how the little girl who did it may be being sexually abused herself and this behaviour is due to that, but also that she should be punished for it!? Yes OPs daughter needs looking after properly, but I think placing shame and punishment on the other little girl is potentially harmful, too.

I think I would push for the girl to be asked to leave the club. It’s not acceptable behaviour and she needs to be made an example of.

Wow standards are so low these days. I have no doubt that if I'd done that at that age I wouldn't have been allowed back into the club (and, depending on my mother's mood, I might have been physically punished too).

Yup. Old enough to know not to expose the private parts of other children.

This is taken quite seriously by schools, usually.

I would expect the leader of the club and the school headteacher to have a serious conversation with the girl and her mother because this is totally unacceptable. They should both be told this in no uncertain terms, and put on a warning that if anything similar happens again then she will be expelled from the club. The girl and her mother must not be allowed to downplay this.

I think that by telling the club leader, the headteacher and the girl's mother you are doing everything you can. Don't be fobbed off. Impress upon them how upset your DD was and still is about this. How upset you are too and how massively inappropriate it is.

The child who pulled down the OP's DD's clothes should be made to sit out a few sessions and should be more closely supervised, especially if they have to go into a changing room or other private area together, to ensure this sort of thing doesn't happen again and that it isn't the start of a bullying campaign.

Seven year olds do have a sense of modesty and what is and isn't appropriate when it comes to being half naked in front of others. This isn't a three or four year old.

Their school should be notified in case the behaviour resulted from some form of abuse or seeing stuff that isn't age appropriate e.g. seeing the pantsing on the Hunting Trip episode of Parks and Rec with an older sibling.

How about the girl who did it being suspended from the club for a while?

They’re seven FFS !!

Recording something perpetrated by a five year old as sexual assault ? Are you serious ?

They've had their 'pants' talks by then. They know it's hugely unacceptable.

The girl should be suspended from that club for a few weeks.

Anything less is accepting bullying with a shrug.

Agree with pps that the response you’ve received is not good enough by a long shot OP
its trying to pass the responsibility of “sorting out and making it go away” to the parents.

the fact is this happened on their watch (when clearly they weren’t even watching)

the club needs to be taking responsibility to talk to the kids about appropriate behaviour and looking at their own safeguarding policies

the school also needs to be taking responsibility as on their premises and with their pupils.

its not enough to put this on the parents and make the child apologise. Your DD needs to be assured that nothing like this could ever happen again and that she will be safe at the club,

the school need to be aware in case the child in question is having problems at home as others have suggested (and indeed if the child has a history of poor behaviour / bullying.)

Not playing anything down. Just applying common sense. They’re seven - very young. What punishment would you like to see applied ?

They are taught this.

And that's why the child who did it needs consequences.

I've already replied to this above.

The club are not meeting safeguarding standards by fobbing this off on parents. It happened on their watch and their current reaction wouldn't meet Ofsted guidelines.

And yes, as an ex teacher I can confirm that this IS a safeguarding incident and should be officially logged as such.

Children should be taught from a young age about private parts and how others have no right to touch them/reveal them without consent.

Plenty of age appropriate videos out there on websites like the NSPCC.

I would be wanting the club to be sending out a letter to all parents remind them how important bodily autonomy consent is and how they should be talking about it at home.

The club should be putting out a message to parents stating they are aware of a safeguarding incident occurring on that date, that it is being dealt with internally and that any further comments with regards to it, or similar incidents, will be dealt with seriously and could lead to children being banned from the club.

The girl in question should then be suspended from attending the club for a set period.

That way the child in the wrong is punished, the victim is supported and other kids get the message that this is not acceptable and won't be tolerated.

And no, I don't think that's taking the hard line in the slightest. It's the least they could do.

It is definitely a safeguarding issue. I've known this happen in a school, perpetrated by a 5-year-old, and it was recorded as a sexual assault. I thought at the time that was OTT, but now I know more about the background of the child who did it, I realise it was appropriate.

You should make a big fuss. Demand to speak to their person in charge of safeguarding.

That's not good enough. Their safeguarding training is not up to the standard in the Sunday School setting I'm familiar with and I'd have thought it would have to be.

There are two issues, one it's the nature of the act - you know what I mean. Two, it's bullying if a child does something that's potentially humiliating.

These club teachers want to be treated like proper teachers so they need to have standards

Appalling response, ask for the name of their safeguarding lead and speak to the school safeguarding lead.

The child that did this should be banned from the club for the rest of the year. Harsh? Maybe but nothing more than is deserved. She’s 7, she knows this was wrong. Why must the OP’s daughter suffer when she did nothing wrong?

So what was done is an act of bullying for which there would be consequences if it happened in school and in school hours if it was seen by the teacher. An extra curricular teacher ought not to have missed it and the children should have made the teacher aware of it at the time. The extra curricular teacher should be having a word about behaviour expectations