Can we stop talking about men being trapped?

Yes, a man can walk away from the situation, if the woman did deliberately become pregnant without agreement. But a conscentious man would be morally trapped by the obligation that has been created.

The OP should not be telling us what to think or what we can say on here.

But men can't blame the woman when they voluntarily engage in an act with a known risk of producing a baby.

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This

Ahhh all these poor menz, being forced to send their seed out into the world.

It's as if the condom was never invented. I mean sure, it isn't 100% but if you don't want to get "trapped" into being a Dad then either don't have sex, wear a condom every time or get the snip.

It's not fucking rocket science.

Scammers, and the people who agree with them really are scum!

🤣🤣🤣

Just seen your username!
The irony is hilarious. 😂

No man needs to rely on a women's word to prevent pregnancy. They can use condoms or abstain.

Oh.

No I don’t think he’s a victim of an injustice at all

I agree with all of that.

Would you agree that if a man had sex with a woman who had lied about contraception with aim of getting pregnant, he may very well be stupid but he's also very hard done by and the victim of an injustice?

I also notice that stories of “I know three women who did this!” Is either “they told me when drunk” or that claim came from a third party. I take both with a pinch of salt TBH because let’s face it for every one woman poking holes in condoms there’s about 10,000 men avoiding fatherhood on actual children and skipping out on maintenance. How else did we get to children being owed £4billion by their dads?

No I dot approve of it. Did I ever say I did? My point is even if you unequivocally trust someone, if you are a man and see a baby as life ruining, knowing fine well you have no choice of what happens in a pregnancy, you should behave like a adult with half a brain and use all the protection you can get your hands on. Or get a vasectomy, rather than leaving it up to the person who DOES 100% have control over what happens to the pregnancy.

We teach this stuff to teenagers FFS there’s no excuse in the world to not wear a condom if you don’t want a baby. Why on earth wouldn’t you take the opponent to double the chances of no pregnancy?

I often wonder what would happen if there was a male contraceptive pill. I think the world population would absolutely plummet. It might prove to be the downfall of humanity.

Do you approve of women lying about contraception to get pregnant?

If you have never been pregnant you cannot know how your views on abortion might change when you are pregnant. Part and parcel of being an adult is accepting that actions have consequences.

This is very true. Prior to getting pregnant with my first child, I felt that if the fetus had a high risk of a chromosonal condition or birth defect, I would choose an abortion. But after I saw that 14-week scan and felt the first flutters, I knew there was no way I could abort my baby for any reason other than a severe medical defect that would result in death before or after birth. You really don't know how you're going to feel.

Did she confess it herself?

Because dipshits are saying that despite they know women get pregnant, that men who didn’t bother using a condom or getting a vasectomy are the poor people akin to rape victims who have it tough and are ‘trapped’ when a pregnancy occurs

I agree trapping him for marriage is outdated but women do trap men into the financial support part.

I know someone who messed with the guys contraception to get pregnant. He's well off so the child is set for life and her by extension.
She was hoping for marriage etc but didn't end up that way.

I will say she wanted the family life, not just his money!.

Absolutely!
Then why moan about the burden if they have 100% control?

OR they could have sex knowing they have 100% control of what happens in the event of a pregnancy. And men could have sex knowing they don’t have 100% control of what happens in pregnancy, and then do all that IS within their power to prevent a pregnancy. Rather than moan afterwards “Waaaaaah well she said it would be OK”!

Don't have sex then.
Problem solved for women.

I think you are confused.

The facts are that pregnancy is a natural consequence of sex. Babies require resources and parenting. Anyone can have sex but you can't pretend that having to take responsibility for the consequences are unfair when there is a very obvious imbalance in who has the final say about the continuation of a pregnancy. The thread is about ending the argument that men are "trapped" by unplanned pregnancy. They are not "trapped", they are simply required to take responsibility for their actions.

If you have never been pregnant you cannot know how your views on abortion might change when you are pregnant. Part and parcel of being an adult is accepting that actions have consequences.

WRT to my hypothetical daughter, why on earth would I involve myself in her sex life? I would however tell her that she can end a relationship for any reason but she has no right to dictate the level of risk someone else should take wrt to reproductive choices. If a man decides to avoid penetrative sex because his risk threshold for unplanned pregnancy is zero then a partner can either accept that or move. Neither party are right or wrong in that situation. Navigating such dilemmas is just being an adult.

I'm pretty consistent in my beliefs about bodily autonomy, men have every right to exercise it too.

No that’s 50 stories of other people that posters apparently know. Which TBH I would take with a huge pinch of salt

Given the number of women who use MN and the numbers of women each of us must know, that's a pretty low number. The purpose of the thread was to invite people to share experience of this apparant issue of such great significance it needs much discourse. Yet only 50 takers came forward with their anecdotes.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5244118-to-ask-if-you-know-anyone-personally-who-got-pregnant-by-lying-about-contraception

There are about fifty examples of women admitting to lying about contraception in order to conceive on this recent thread, if that helps.

I never said men shouldn't pay for the children they create. I said that they are being trapped financially, after being deliberately misled about how high the risk of pregnancy was when they agreed to sex.

Most men in a relationship would be happy to take the risk of sex on the pill with a 99% chance of protection. Most wouldn't if they knew that the risk of protection was actually zero, would they?

I assume that the posters desperately trying to pin blame on the men in this situation are of the revolting 'whoops, accidental baby' variety.