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Original poster

To tell my good friend her husband is on dating apps!

123 replies

BerryMummypudding · 28/01/2025 13:33

My eldest daughter is on dating apps. (She's 25)
She came
To me last night to tell me that my good friends husband has a profile on one of the apps.

I've known the friend for about 30 years. I knew her husband first we went to school together.

In his profile he said he's 10 years younger than he is really and he is looking for younger women. As young as 20.

(His daughter is 22 and son is 29)

I want to tell friend but I don't want to break her heart. She's going to be so hurt. I'm so hurt for her.
What words do I even use!

Is it possible it's not him and someone using his picture. It looks like a professional head shot. (He's a professional man) I say this as the age was incorrect.

Looking all advice please.

OP posts:
Sparrow7 · 28/01/2025 13:37

We had this recently and it was someone making a fake account using DHs details and photos from his business website. No idea why? Friend who noticed called to tell me straight away, you should do the same.

paradisecircus · 28/01/2025 13:37

Tricky one, you could just keep out of it, but I might lean towards telling her. I'd have a screenshot of the profile handy.

Wannabegreenfingers · 28/01/2025 13:38

Get photographic evidence, and give to your friend. It's her call what to with it then.

cestlavielife · 28/01/2025 13:39

Asdume someone down loaded it from a public site and is misusing it

Send ascreen shot and say

hey friend...Does your dh know his photo s been stolen for a dating app?

Ace56 · 28/01/2025 13:39

Do you have a screenshot of the profile?

If so I’d show her - it’s up to her what she does with that info. Might be a catfish using his photo but it might not be - that’s up to her to figure out.

User67556 · 28/01/2025 13:40

Sparrow7 · 28/01/2025 13:37

We had this recently and it was someone making a fake account using DHs details and photos from his business website. No idea why? Friend who noticed called to tell me straight away, you should do the same.

It's most likely a fake profile. I'd tell her in a breezy way "oh it's probably a fake profile but my DD found this online - insert screenshot - hope you can get it sorted!" Then you're not accusing anyone but still letting her know.

NorthernGirl1981 · 28/01/2025 13:40

Of course you should tell her.

Just tell her that your daughter was using a dating App and came across the profile.

Your friend can then decide what to do with that information.

MissUltraViolet · 28/01/2025 13:41

Someone could’ve swiped his profile picture but it also could be him.

I wouldn’t want to involve myself by trying to communicate with the profile to see if it is him, I think that should be left to his wife to decide. I probably would tell her though even if you try to be as lighthearted about it as possible, by mentioning he might have had his picture taken by a scammer etc.

StormingNorman · 28/01/2025 13:41

I would call him.

Hayley1256 · 28/01/2025 13:42

I would tell her but approach it 'DD saw your husbands picture on a dating app - is someone using his image'

Nonaynevernomore · 28/01/2025 13:43

If it’s real you won’t be breaking her heart, he will.

abricotine · 28/01/2025 13:44

Hayley1256 · 28/01/2025 13:42

I would tell her but approach it 'DD saw your husbands picture on a dating app - is someone using his image'

Exactly this — for all we know, and given the professional style photo that’s been used, it’s the truth!

Mangoesintoapub · 28/01/2025 13:44

Unless he’s halfwitted he wouldn’t use his business headshot on a dating profile so I’d guess it’s a fake.

Puppydog83 · 28/01/2025 13:46

If you already give him the idea to say that it's a fact profile, then what about if it's not?

She needs to find out first whether it is in fact him before suggesting someone is pretending to be him otherwise that let's get away with it.

404ErrorCode · 28/01/2025 13:47

It’s a tough one, because even if it’s genuinely him, he would likely make out it was someone stealing his photo and lie.

ComtesseDeSpair · 28/01/2025 13:48

It’ll be fairly obvious if it’s a fake: catfish generally pretend to be exotic and affluent and successful; they don’t usually just pose as Dave from Chichester but a decade younger.

Yes, of course you tell her, with the evidence. If it’s fake, both she and her DH will be glad to know. If it’s real, she’s not going to be any more devastated finding out now than she will be in six months time when he tells her he’s leaving her.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 28/01/2025 14:36

Tell her. I would want to know.

ForRealCat · 28/01/2025 14:40

As others have said, assume its fake and let them know so they can have it taken down. If its not fake, that's their business. Dont be apologetic or take the line of "I have something difficult to tell you"

UrsulasHerbBag · 28/01/2025 14:46

Tell her. It might be absolutely innocent but (sorry to say it) how many single friends do you know who all say most of their dating app matches are all married. If it is innocent then they get it removed. If he is looking for girls as young as his daughter to cheat on his wife with she deserves to know. I hope it’s all a case of a stolen profile.

laalaaleelee · 28/01/2025 15:03

Nonaynevernomore · 28/01/2025 13:43

If it’s real you won’t be breaking her heart, he will.

This. Tell her.

BlondeMamaToBe · 28/01/2025 15:06

I would tell her.

I’ve had actually had two partners that have been found on dating apps. My friend saw them, I made a profile and they came up very fast. I confronted them both each time and got pity party excuses.

I can be a cunt so it didn’t wash with me.

Floralnomad · 28/01/2025 15:09

Of course you tell her .

OohRains · 28/01/2025 15:20

Grown up kids, so, have they actually split up? Perfectly possible.

Endofyear · 28/01/2025 15:28

If she's a close friend I would tell her. You'd want a friend to tell you, wouldn't you? If it's a fake profile, he can take action. If it's not, it's up to her what she does with the information.

Itiswhysofew · 28/01/2025 15:34

Tell him to tell her. If he doesn't, you tell her.

Not an easy one.