I've mad an utter fool of myself

I never said that? Why are you making random stuff up? It’s like that meme “I like pancakes.” “Oh so you HATE waffles” ffs.

The guy handled it appropriately, probably recognising that OP has had a difficult time of it.

Why are you defending the actions of OP so much? As a PP said, she shouldn’t be infantilised because she is a woman. What she did was very wrong and yes she should feel ashamed. But she should also use this as a lesson learnt and move on.

Lots of people have commented that everyone makes mistakes and things like that. I just can't imagine anyone encouraging a man to see such an incident in that light. Some people would be telling him how legally risky his behaviour was to himself, while others would be judging how safe he is around others.

Think she knows that, to be fair.

So you believe the police should have been called?

@Cloes even if the guy did like you would you really stoop so low as to kiss him with his gf in the next room.
Would you want a bf who was prepared to do that?

So it doesn’t matter that you read the signals wrong your behaviour was awful.

Are you implying that he should have called the police then and OP should of spent the night in a cell?
It was an attempted kiss, she didn’t do anything remotely ‘sexual’ like try pulling his jeans down etc…

I think that's infantilising the OP because she is a woman. She did something really bad, almost predatory, but it seems like people are downplaying the seriousness of targeting someone who is happily partnered and then getting them alone to make a physical pass at them. It's very insidious behaviour.

It doesn't matter how sad she is. It isn't an excuse like it wouldn't be for a man.

Ok. Attempted sexual assault

Erm, seriously? It was an unwanted and uninvited kiss? If it was a man doing it to a woman, you wouldn’t be saying that.

Oh dear, OP. I totally understand your mortification.

As others have said though, count your blessings. You don't live near them, you have friends, this is out of character.

You are clearly struggling over your recent break up and the combination of being back in some contact with your ex and him being nice and you drinking too much have triggered you to read too much into it and behave inappropriately.

I agree with suggestions to send his parents a card, apologising for your behaviour. You should also apologise to your ex and I would advise you then block him for a while to stop yourself from seeing his picture or tempting fate.

Have a look at your alcohol consumption - was this a one-off or are you using alcohol to help you through an emotional patch?

Would you benefit from talking through your recent break up with a counsellor?

How is your social life and are your friends supporting you with getting over your relationship? What steps can you take to help yourself move on?

Yes this was poor behaviour and you have embarrassed yourself, but other than your parents who love you, you don't need to see any of the other people again.

You seriously cannot be blaming the guy here?

I disagree. I think it's quite common and often totally innocent. I can only think of one ex where I wouldn't reply to basic conversation. I wouldn't be with someone threatened by that. That's a definite red flag..

I mean it’s a good line though. She was quite rightly fuming and told you straight fair play to her.
Same advice as others really. Apologise, unfollow, move on

What do you mean 'getting that close'? She instigated the messaging on SM and he responded a handful of times, in a 'dry' and non-flirty way, frequently mentioning his GF. He was being polite and pleasant to an old friend, nothing more.

Oh come on, he was not sexually assaulted at all! What a way to kick a woman while she’s already down 🙄

Oh sweetheart give yourself a break, everything just got on top of you and you latched on to someone you have history with showing interest in you.
Your ex could have handled it a bit more sympathetically and to be honest it was an odd situation you being there with them all, it must have made you feel out of sorts - then add booze!

Just apologise once explain your recent breakup hit you hard and then move on.
Your parents need to get over it, it has no bearing on their friendship with his parents.

Honestly just reframe it in your head as a weird group dynamic with too much to drink and laugh about it with your friends or you’ll just keep beating yourself up.

Try not to compare yourself to the current girlfriend and put it down to a bit of a fuck up 😁

At least OP has the sense to realise this is totally on her and hopefully takes on board the advice here, which she seems to be.

Than somehow blaming her ex for her mistakes.

Honestly, sometime women fuck up and need to be accountable.

I read it as you have a child and she does not . Perhaps there are other things. You see her as gorgeous and with him but don't seem to have a good view of you and your life at the moment. Ignore the drink bashers if you rarely drink and it all got jumbled up with feelings. Apologise acknowledge and eventually this may become a oh I have a cringe to learn from me story to a friend in need.
it sucks being a single parent household

OP, stop beating yourself up about this and stop it now.

You acted a bit silly, so just put it behind you.

Your mum is being rather insensitive IMO to say this,
"When we got home my mum went mad asking if I've lost my mind or if I'm trying to sabotage her friendship and their relationship."

I also agree with this -
"It’s your DC’s father who has caused all your grief. Is he sending the right amount of money and visiting DC? If not, don’t let him get away with being a deadbeat dad "

I'm sorry that you are in a difficult situation just now. xx

He did. He has just been sexually assaulted by someone who took to a delusion of him wanting her and was drunk. It was potentially very bad situation for him which vould have escalated into longer term for all he knew. Totally understandable that everyone present ended up involved.

It's not up to victims to deescalate really. I would be fuming if this happened and people told me I should hsve de-escalate and pretend nothing happened

Yep, completely cringeworthy - but we've all (well many of us) done or will do equally embarassing things at some point.

I'd send a card to his parents, apologizing profusely, stating you had drunk too much and made an utter fool of yourself. Also state how well-matched their son and his girlfriend are and that you wish them well. Don't write too much, keep it short and sweet.

I’m really stunned some people think this man did something wrong by telling his partner, if he hadn’t folks would have said that was wrong. He’s done nothing wrong.

op, look yes it is embarrassing, I’d apologise to them all, text or message. Just say you were pissed. Also apologise to all the parents, put it down to booze.

and then don’t stew on it,

You didn't kill anyone. Nobody is long term affected by your actions. I agree that he could have been more discreet. He whipped it up into the embarrassment you feel. He just needed to say you'd got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

Quick apology to him - ask him to extend to his gf. I don't think you need to grovel to his folks.

You'll be alright. I mean you'll cringe about it for years, but one day it'll be a funny anecdote.

They all sound a little precious. And lay off the booze for a bit. The come down won't be helping your mood. A few good walks this week, and lots of time with your DC and you'll feel brand new.