Was I in the wrong to post this?

So you've never tried to have children and you don't know for sure that you're infertile?

What do you mean it's best not to have children? Your husband doesn't want children, so you don't have a choice other than not to have them.

I’m waiting for the next drip feed saying the precious dog baby is an XL Bully that doesn’t like muzzles…

It seems like the sister-in-law is trying to have a relationship with her, being that she messaged her to discuss that the FB post hurt her feelings. It's baffling.

?????????????

You discovered you were infertile at 12-13?

Is that even possible?

Also, WTAF? You are saying something now that is completely different to your original post(s!)

Just snorted wine down my nose. 😂😂😂

Massive drip feed and utter piss take. I’m out,

So hang on, you found out you had fertility issues as a young teenager, haven’t tried to have a baby, your DH has never wanted children, and now you’ve also decided you don’t want children as you’re approaching 40?

And in these circumstances you decided to put up an attention grabbing status on FB about feeling guilty for not providing your in-laws with grandchildren when they already have grandchildren and getting them via your DH was never on the cards anyway as he doesn’t want them?

OK then. You’re either completely bonkers or a troll.

Did the dog go to the wedding?

Yes, all of this.

That’s a hell of a drip feed 🙄 Tbh I’m amazed SIL even speaks to you.

Is there a reason you haven’t replied to people asking how your husband feels about you obstructing relations with his sister and her family? He’s not suffering from infertility and neither are you.

Your dog may be very precious to you but he’s not your baby. You excluded your nephew for being a baby. And there’s no excuse for the wedding stuff given your latest post, it’s starting to take the piss.

So you aren’t suffering with infertility at all if your husband never wanted kids and you haven’t tried which is a very different impression to what you said at the start. Your guilt certainly doesn’t need to be on Facebook particularly when your in laws do have grandchildren so where is the guilt coming from

so why not have children at the wedding - My SIL doesn’t want kids but still had my DD at her wedding and a under 6 month old baby (plus her husbands daughter and nieces and nephews) and if you so have a blanket ban then respect some won’t come

and yes yiur dog may be your baby but her son is hers

Her children are still you inlaws grandchildren, though.

Frankly, having had a dog with severe separation anxiety and not trying to rectify it is not OK for them. Been there, poor darling was quite an age and had every reason to be anxious because of his history, but it was improved in a few weeks with effort. It is not kind to have a dog that simply cannot be left, because you can't control the circumstances when they may have to be.

It’s fine to think it but why post on Facebook? What did you expect from it?

Isn't not allowing a baby in arms to a wedding then throwing a strop because the mother won't leave her baby behaving like a tw@t?

I disagree with how you're interpreting this post.
No one is saying OP is wrong to have a childfree wedding. It's her right and an understandable one.

What people ARE saying is that it's also understandable that a mother would not want to leave an 8 month old baby to attend the wedding.

Both decisions should be regarded with grace and understanding. OP has used the example of her SIL not attending as her "main character energy". This is what people are taking issue with.

I disagree with the "behaving like a tw@t" phrasing- but then again the poster I quoted was just using it to point out that actions in both directions were made with self-preservation at the core.

Her SIL is clearly her husband's sister (hence the reference to her relationship with MIL), not her brother's wife.
It is entirely normal (as the SIL has done) to talk directly to your brother's wife as an adult, and not mediate through your brother.

Spot on.

You can't cut people (especially family) out of your life on important occasions because proximity to their children is painful to you and expect them to be OK with it. You seem to state that you can't leave a dog with separation anxiety alone for any period of time (it can be sorted, BTW) but expect a woman to leave her 8 month old baby to attend your wedding.

There are many people out there who are widowed, who are going through infertility, who have actually had their children die. Im not telling you that the way you feel is invalid, but it is something that you need to find a way to cope with, because as humans, we have to and we need to acknowledge that others do not just exist to serve our feelings.

I honestly don’t think there was anything to misunderstand. OP posted that she couldn’t give her parents or PiL grandchildren. She neglected to mention that PiL already had grandchildren via their daughter. That’s a massive omission and leaves people who don’t know the scenario thinking there are none. I would be angry if I were SiL - especially as this is not the first time her children have been dismissed. OP is at least four years on from the diagnosis and instead of trying to help herself or seek therapy, she’s doing her best to avoid any kind of meaningful relationship with SIL’s children and using her dog as the excuse. I really do feel for OP as my circumstances are similar, but this doesn’t give her carte Blanche to behave like this for ever more.

To declare the wedding child free ‘for obvious reasons’ is concerning - not least because it signals that contact with any child, even those of her own family and friends is triggering. OP put her diagnosis before those with children who would have wanted to attend her wedding, including SiL, but couldn’t either because their children were too young to be left, or they couldn’t access childcare. People declare their weddings child free for many different reasons, and that’s their perogative, but OP’s was a giant red flag for the future because that was four years ago and in that time she’s made no effort to come to terms with things, or even seek help to do so. She’s throwing obstacles in the way of any meaningful relationship with her SIL’s children and prioritising her dog above her nieces and nephews. I suspect this is only the tip of the iceberg and I don’t blame SiL one bit for being utterly pissed off that OP has once again offloaded her grief onto others with this self serving FB post, and once again put SIL’s children in the shade.

Ok, apologies I misunderstood

I am not experiencing infertility. Just a sense of guilt.

No, but based on her post the OP is using her sister-in-law not coming to the wedding as example of main character energy, and she seems to be holding it against the sister-in-law. If you choose not to have children at your wedding you have to accept that some people will be unable to come. And you should do that graciously, you shouldn't hold it against them.

How do you know? She misunderstood the post, as did I and a lot of posters on this thread.

I'm not thick.