Was I in the wrong to post this?

Is this "you have PCOS (or similar) which means you might have trouble conceiving" being twisted into "you are infertile"?

Being told is one thing, actually going through infertility is an entirely different thing (with infertility being defined as "the inability to conceive after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse"). I've been told my Dr's I have a very low chance of having children due to severe endometriosis (backed up my various tests which show very low egg counts), but I've not actively tried/been trying (childfree by choice) so I wouldn't describe myself as going through infertility - it's incredibly insensitive to those women who are actively trying and going through it and not being able to get pregnant.

You sound incredibly difficult and attention seeking. Posting that on Facebook to get attention and validation for something you've said yourself, was not likely to happen. Your partner doesn't want children and you've stayed with him and agreed to a life without children, are you just feeling insecure/jealous compared to your SIL who does have children (that you may have wanted)? Now she's rightly got upset you've made some attention seeking FB posts, you're now trying to paint her as the bad person.

Again, your right to have a childfree wedding but obviously someone with an 8 month old would probably opt to not attend due to said baby being very dependent on it's mother. Your dog having seperation anxiety is a very different thing, and you clearly do not love your niece/nephew as much as you claim you do otherwise you'd address the dogs seperation anxiety/get your husband to look after the dog whilst you see niece/nephew. You're using that as an excuse. Asking about them means absolutely sweet F all, if you have no intention to make any actions to see them. Unless your dog is a service dog (and not a bloody emotional support dog or whatever cop out people use to describe dogs), you can manage an hour away from the dog to see them if you care that much.

You need to pull yourself together and either commit to being the loving aunt you claim to be, or just go no contact and save the drama. You also need to sit and address the complicated feelings towards not having children that you're clearly having with a therapist.

More importantly, how often has the MIL been prevented from seeing the grandchild/ren she does have because of OP's entitled view that her dog should go everywhere with her. Yet OP is now whining on FB that she feels guilty that she can't give her in-laws grandchildren that she has never even tried to have because their own son doesn't even want them.

I think it is absolutely disgusting so many women shared their pain which I'm sure for some triggered by what the went thru. For nothing. It I'd no wonder your in laws are upset.

I am shocked your husband didnt allow his brother’s baby to his wedding.

To clarify OP have you actually tried to conceive and have then been told that you are infertile?

You say you won't leave your dog so SIL won't meet up at the Park or MIL, how often has SIL and her children had to avoid going to MILs or left because your dog has been there and her small child is afraid of dogs?

I have to be honest and say I wouldn't have left my baby at 8 months for a wedding and my DH would have told his brother where to shove his wedding if our DC had been excluded and an exception not made given they were a baby and niece/nephew of the grooms

BrokenHipster · Today 21:28

I hope all the posters who called the SIL a twat, a bitch, and all the other names.come back to retract it!
SIL deserves a medal for having anything at all.to do with OP who is clearly insane.

Bleachbum · Today 21:30

I just feel sorry for all the PP’s who have tried to support OP by sharing their own experiences of infertility, failed IVF rounds, miscarriages etc in the pursuit of a desperately wanted baby…
OP, much like in your FB post, you have led people to think you are in a situation that is far from reality to get sympathy.

poemsandwine · Today 21:38

So, basically, you were attention-seeking as all hell on FB, and your SIL has had enough. I wouldn't even speak to you if I were her. And all the posters here who shared their private stories and pain...
Wow :(

All of this. ^ (Except brokenshipster, to be fair, people slagging off the OP's SIL did it based on the information the OP gave all through the thread that she started last night, before she changed all the facts less than 2 hours ago!)

.

I have to be honest, I find posts like this fascinating. The way that someone can have such a lack of empathy or understanding for other people's opinions and perspectives, and feel so justified in their opinion that they'd start a post about it on a forum, presumably expecting sympathy and understanding. It's absolutely baffling @TrolleySign that you would think you're in the right about this. Baffling, but fascinating.

Well there's a turn up.

So, basically, you were attention-seeking as all hell on FB, and your SIL has had enough. I wouldn't even speak to you if I were her. And all the posters here who shared their private stories and pain...

Wow :(

I just feel sorry for all the PP’s who have tried to support OP by sharing their own experiences of infertility, failed IVF rounds, miscarriages etc in the pursuit of a desperately wanted baby…

OP, much like in your FB post, you have led people to think you are in a situation that is far from reality to get sympathy.

I hope all the posters who called the SIL a twat, a bitch, and all the other names.come back to retract it!

SIL deserves a medal for having anything at all.to do with OP who is clearly insane.

This. ^

And I am no medical expert, but I am pretty sure it's not possible to know that someone may be infertile for life at 12-13 years of age! How can anyone know? Unless you were born without female reproductive organs, knowing at the age of 12-13 that a female is infertile for life is nigh on impossible surely......?

.

God almighty, claiming infertility yet you’ve decided not to have children is actually beyond concerning. Akin to making up illness for sympathy.

Absolutely insulting to all those who cannot have children despite trying and wanting to.

Sounds like your SIL was very restrained.

I wonder if all the people calling the sister-in-law a twat feel differently now?

OP you know full well what you have implied on here

Not having children because your husband didn't want them and you weren't too fussed is not the same thing.

I am also going to hazard a guess that the doctor did not tell you at 14 that you were infertile but that the health issues you have alluded to on here may make it harder (not saying that is a great thing to be told but it is clearly very different to being told that you absolutely cannot).

Were you drunk when you posted on Facebook and on here?

Yet, 4 years ago, you didn't have children at your wedding 'for obvious reasons'. Which strongly suggested you had actively tried and failed to conceive and the presence of children would be traumatic to you.

You 'adopted' your dog 2 years ago and indicated that it has 'separation anxiety'. Also known as, you have not trained it. Next thing you will claim is that this is a therapy dog. It isn't. Actual therapy dogs are highly trained and do not have behavioural problems.

Your poor SIL.

The op isn’t even clearly infertile- a doctor told her she might be when she was 12, so she’s…. Never tried for children, and now decided not to have any, possibly because her husband doesn’t want any so she doesn’t get a say… so due to either or both her and her husbands choices she is making pass agg fb posts about not giving her pip grandchildren implying it’s infertility to get sympathy…. this is not infertility and now you’ve also shat on everyone who actually knows infertility as well as everyone with children, wow I can see why the sil has had enough.

Why did you not want children at your wedding?

Yep . I reckon she’s a twat .

Wow...post starts out about infertility and now it's a whole other thing. What a drama lama. I feel sorry for your family dealing with this. And get your dog help. You aren't being a very good dog parent .

You were told you might be infertile 26 years ago, have never tried to have DC and are posting attention seeking FB statuses about the grief of infertility?

You didn't invite your nephew to your wedding because of your infertility, even though you don't want children?

A bit of grief over the road not taken is natural, especially over such a big decision as this, but come on OP. You're taking the complete piss.

So you might not even be infertile?? Goodness grief.

Also, why feel guilty towards your in-laws? Your DH doesn’t even want children!

If you had left your in-laws out of this FB post none of this would have even happened.

Reading between the lines here and apologies if I'm wrong, but I'm going to guess your sister in law is tired of your dramatics and decided to correct you on your attention seeking Facebook post.