Was I in the wrong to post this?

So you're miffed that she couldn't leave her child when they were not invited, but you also can't leave your dog when it's not invited?
Is this thread a reverse by any chance?

👀

I think you and your SiL are naturally each seeing this from your own point of view. She thinks you're suggesting her children don't exist or are 'not enough'. You are struggling with the grief of not having children and perhaps expecting everyone around you to feel similarly affected.

Goodness, why would you post something like that on FB? Seems very attention seeking.

@BarbaraHoward yeah, I think you're not wrong there.

I very much doubt the SIL thinks OP is a great auntie based on the follow up post. I suspect this is the latest in a line of instances of OP trying to sideline or deny her DNs. OP's pain makes that understandable but not excusable.

She didn't say they don't have grandchildren she talked about her and her feelings about giving them grandchildren not anyone else and their ability. It's her status about her and her feelings, she didn't say they are left with nothing or lonely or sad, she talked about how SHE feels about it and that's fine if she wants to do that

As someone also struggling with infertility, @TrolleySign , you weren't wrong to share your feelings but you did mistep by expressing guilt for not giving your in laws grandchildren when they do have them.

You SIL sent a sensitive message by the sounds of it, be equally sensitive and apologise for a poor choice of words.

She should have rolled her eyes and scrolled on by, it’s pretty obvious you didn’t mean that her children don’t exist.

That said I would die a bit inside seeing such a personal post, I use Facebook for superficial keeping in touch not baring the soul.

It clearly did not suggest that they didn't have grandchildren. How rude and baffling she would misconstrue it in such a way.

You were obviously feeling very down and vulnerable. Probably hoping for supportive posts.

She should've responded saying how she feels for you and reassure you you're loved and appreciated by the rest of the family, whether you have kids or not. And that you're a great auntie etc. Not making it about her.

Agreed. In neither of those situations is the SIL the problem.

I'm sorry for your struggles. I don't know what main character energy is but if it's anything to do with wanting others to think about you and how you feel etc then I would say, as most have said, stay off social media as your venting method.

Post anonymously here. Posting about your feelings in relation to your parents isn't appropriate when you can be identified. Unless you want your loved ones to interact with you about your feelings via Facebook instead of privately? I would suggest this is a private matter.

This!

How old was her child when your wedding was child-free? It’s quite unusual not to make an exception for children of the siblings of the bride and groom? If it was a babe in arms, very strange.

Neither of those are examples of 'main character energy' 😳

Fine not to want to leave her DC and not go to the wedding, just as it was fine for you to state no DC at the wedding.

Also fine not to meet up with you if your dog is there and her DC is scared of it.

Your SIL has totally misinterpreted what you said. You’re not saying your ILs have no grandchildren, you’re saying you can’t give them any, it’s perfectly clear.

It’s your personal Facebook page and what you put on it is entirely up to you. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t say on it. However, you can’t control people’s reactions to it, and they may have opinions and even judge you. Plus once you’ve told people you can’t untell them.

I’m really sorry for your situation OP, it must be awful

Oh OP. Not inviting nieces and nephews to your wedding is quite the statement, as is not making a small child comfortable when they're scared of a dog.

Your grief is clouding your judgement.

Does your spouse know you're sharing this much on FB?

I don’t think FB is the right place for your pain OP. Get some counselling, speak to a friend, or even try journaling.

She should have also kept her thoughts to herself, it’s clear you only meant from your perspective although you have worded it clumsily. She could have just said a few kind words and left it at that.

Edited to add - maybe she feels you don’t acknowledge her child(ren) as it is so she wanted to remind you? I read your updates. It’s quite a weird thing not to have your DH’s niece/nephew for at least part of the wedding. Maybe this is the root of the issues between you?

I fully sympathise with your situation, but Facebook really isn't the place to put every single thought that pops into your head, however you're feeling.
But as you've already posted it now, I think more grandchildren would have been the correct thing to say. You haven't taken into account that they already have grandchildren at all. I can see both sides here, don't get me wrong. I'm just not a fan of using Facebook for sharing such personal statements. Nobody on Facebook knows what's going on in my life, unless they are close friends and know personally from me. And that's the way I like it. But we're all different I suppose.

She is a grief thief…and she can’t read properly either. You said that YOU felt bad that YOU couldn’t give them grandchildren. You didn’t say YOU felt bad that they didn’t have any grandchildren. Some people need to always be the star of the show. She sounds like a bitch, sorry. Your social media is for you to express whatever you want to express. No one has to look at it.

I can see why thew sister in law was a bit ??? as it does sound like the parents have zero grandchildren.

Facebook really is bad news though.
Best to keep it light and bright, and leave heavy stuff for really trusted friends. {in person}

I read it the way you intended and your SIL needs to learn she’s not the main character in your thoughts.

Saying that, bit of an oversharing for FB, but I suppose it also depends on how you handle your social media.

I'm with your SIL, it was a strange thing to write and I would have been at it too.

Your SIL has been spectacularly self-centered and ignorant. I'm really sorry you're going through this, and please do keep talking about how you are feeling however, and with whomever you want (within reason, obviously). People use SM in different ways but please do not let this stop you speaking your truth and reaching out for support ever. She's a bellend. All the best