Was I in the wrong to post this?

Agree

You might as well change your facebook status to "I hate my SIL and I'm one of those dog owners'.

I don’t think there was anything wrong with your post but excluding your SILs 8 month old baby from your wedding was cruel.

Can you not see that it can actually be read both ways?

If I didn't know that the sister-in-law had children, that's what I would think.

No it doesn’t.

She didn’t say they don’t have grandchildren. She said she’s sorry she can’t give them grandchildren. Can you not see the difference?

I find your statement strange and your placement of it on Facebook even stranger but it's your life.

I would apologise to SIL and explain what you meant. Presumably you've had this conversation in real life with your parents and in laws and presumably they've all reassured you it's not your fault etc.

Whilst Facebook is definitely not somewhere i would post about sensitive issues about infertility. ( I struggle myself with PCOS and reoccurring MCs)
Your SIL was clearly just being awkward in this situation and just wanted to kick you whilst you were down, there was absolutely no need.
She could probably see from the tone of your post/status that you just needed some support and you didn't mean it in a bad way.
People who do not suffer with infertility do not understand how soul destroying it can be.

I can understand why she’d have taken your post the way she did. And I can also understand why you feel the way you feel. And if you were closer to each other, you perhaps both would have taken a moment to think about how the other person was feeling, and that no offence was meant from either side.

I’m not going to suggest you stop using FB to air your deepest and most personal thoughts to people whose phone numbers are not in your contacts list. But, with kindness, you are going to get some very blunt and unsympathetic reactions from people who don’t have an emotional attachment to you. How much is it helping you to deal with those reactions? Would you feel better if you aired your feelings to women in the same position as you? Who won’t take offence at a comment you’ve made in innocence?

Sorry but I think you're coming across as pretty self absorbed. I can't bear self pitying FB rants, most parents wouldn't be happy to leave an 8 month old for a wedding - I think it's really poor that you couldn't make an exception for your SIL - and now you appear to think your dog's anxiety trumps your nephew's fear.

I'd be pissed off with you too.

You won't leave your dog but you criticise your SIL for not leaving her small human baby? Clearly you are grieving, but this is ridiculous.

Your Facebook post does read like neither your parents nor your PIL have any grandchildren because it doesn't make sense to feel guilty about not giving them grandchildren when they already have some (in your PIL's case at least). You're projecting your sadness on to them. I'm sure they feel sorry for you and their son, but they won't be sad for themselves.

I feel very sorry for your fertility struggles. Been there myself. But posting this really didn't help you and now there will be an awkward atmosphere.

You're grieving and in pain so I'm not going to heap more criticism and shame on you. It sounds like you urgently need some therapy for the hugely painful experience you're going through.

I hope that once you're on the other side of that, it will be easier for you to understand that your sister in law has done nothing wrong in having and loving her children, in not leaving them behind for a wedding that they should have been welcomed at and for not putting them in harm's way with a dog they're afraid of. You'll hopefully also be able to see that your Facebook post felt like yet another instance of you disregarding children that you should be able to love.

I hope you're able to have your own children really soon and to form a close and loving relationship with the children in your life that it sounds like you're currently pushing away.

I wouldn't have left my 8 month old baby to go to a wedding

I don't think it's your SiL with main character energy. She could have responded publicly to your public post but she didn't. You're the one who posts oversharing statements online, banned an 8 month old relative from your wedding and then criticised his mum for not attending, and you refuse to leave your dog at home despite knowing your nephew is scared of dogs. It honestly seems like you are trying to create a rift in the family because you are grieving your infertility. Therapy may be helpful to you if you haven't already tried it.

I really think it all stems back to this, plus the fact the bloody dog has to be there the whole time even though the child is scared. Her DH needs to step up though and build a relationship with niece or nephew sans OP!

Is she your husband's sister or your husband's brother's wife? Interesting dynamics either way...

I don't think she's being unreasonable. I had a largely childfree wedding but nieces and nephews were there. To exclude an 8 month old DN is petty.

This is why FB shouldn't be used as a diary. It never ends well.

8 months and you couldn’t make an exception for a very close family member? It’s very inconsiderate actually as the baby is so little and doesn’t even need a chair or food!

Do you not think that’s strange OP when you won’t leave your dog for even a couple of hours?

Why couldn’t a 4 year old be afraid of dogs, I know grown adults who are afraid of dogs, you do sound very self absorbed

I think the SiL would have a very different version of the relationship

Not every mum would leave an 8 month old for a wedding. Even if just for the day/evening

And 4 is very little. There are plenty of adults that wouldn't want to be around your dog.

Are these the only reasons you dislike her? (and her DH presumably)

It was pretty obvious what you meant it isn't "denying" her children but also i wouldn't post such things on FB full stop. In fact I would come off FB if you are a sensitive person in any way shape or form.

Op don't be that person. Iv blocked so many people on Facebook for posts like this and checking themselves into a&e. If you want to get things of your chest talk to family and friends or write it on a piece of paper. You will get nothing from loads of randoms writing you ok and you replying il pm you hun.