To be upset and put off by this comment

I would feel exactly the same OP! In fact, my recent exb, whilst we were in the middle of sex.. said ‘oh no-one’s done that to me before’. I stopped immediately and said ‘oh I’ve done it loads of times before’ and never did it with him again!! Totally and utterly unacceptable imo!

However, there are two camps, those that don’t appreciate details of past ex’s and those that don’t mind. I am most deffo in the first camp..

If this is the only thing he has said or done in the last 3 months then I would put it down to poor judgement on his part. Men can be more flippant with this kind of stuff and I doubt he would have said it to hurt you. He probably cringed as soon as it was out of his mouth . If you have spoken to him about your boundaries and he respects this , I'd draw a line and try and move on.

His oversharing of personal information is rather repulsive IMO. There are some things that do not need to be aired with another person and all he has done in telling you this is show complete disrespect for the other person.

I would be concerned about what he might be sharing with future partners to be honest.

I'm sure OP isn't naive as to think he's never had mind blowing sex before...she just didn't need him to tell her that and neither would I. I'm neither emotionally immature or insecure either, it just wasn't necessary to say what he said

This! Shows he’s deeper than a puddle and after more than just a good shag!

It is generally considered inappropriate to boast about past relationships, but try not to take it too personally. It is like one of those offhand remarks people make without much thought. If it is troubling you, consider mentioning how it made you feel and see how he responds.

I wouldn't like to hear this. It's a bit like hearing about your parents shagging. You realistically know it happens/has happened but you don't particularly want to know anything about it!

Sounds like he is looking for more than good sex? Which would be a good thing if you are looking for a relationship? I think it’s quite a balanced thing to say to be honest and suggests he thinks a lot of you in both ways or he wouldn’t have carried on this far with you would he? I think you’re being over sensitive. Enjoy!

@Marjoram2 "We’ve been our for a bit and we’re on our way back to his now but the thought of having to have sex with him this afternoon is not appealing"

I haven't got anything helpful to say, I'm afraid. Except that you NEVER "have to have sex". Never.

I'd absolutely say something like this and it wouldn't have occurred to me that that could feel disrespectful. More just being matter of fact about past experiences.

I can understand why you're upset. It's just one of those things you don't say and it's never going to get a great response. Anyone with half a brain knows you don't brag about " incredible" sex to your new partner. Husband and I now and again will talk about our past sex lives. I've had good sex in the past and I'm sure he has too, there's nothing wrong with that but we don't use words like " incredible" and it's not "a shame" that we never worked out with those people because we're both happy to be together in the here and now. To be honest I'd think he was still hung up on her from the wording he used.

I wouldn't like this OP.

We all know our partners have shagged other people but you don't really want you partner to say anything that would make you feel inadequate next to past partners.

It shows a quite a bit of obliviousness to how his words can make you feel - he was clearly just reminiscing with no thought to you at all. It would make me look out for this trait in him (if you wanted to keep seeing him).

I agree this was clumsy and unnecessary to share with you but it was probably best dealt with at the moment it happened by saying “woah, overshare, no thanks!” if jovial or a “I know you’re being candid but I’d have preferred not to know that”. I’m not sure it’s worth stewing over. Does he otherwise make you feel good?

I would have been really hurt by it too OP. Also the fact that he was thick enough to say something like that to you (even if it was true) would make me feel less attracted to him. 99/100 if you tell your existing partner how incredible the sex was with your ex or how beautiful your ex was, it’s only going to cause hurt or insecurity. Why say it?! There’s no upside at all. There’s literally no need. It’s not diplomatic, affectionate, and bad manners to boot. You can bet your life on the fact that had you said your ex had an “incredible penis” or was “incredibly gorgeous”, he wouldn’t like that.

I don't think I would have felt ‘vile’ but I wouldn't have felt I needed or wanted that bit of info either. No one has ever discussed the quality of their previous sex lives with me and I wouldn’t want them to. It would probably make me more observant of him and his general attitude though.

Surely as a grown woman with children you are not so naive as to think he's never had mindblowing sex before he met you? And surely you are not so emotionally immature and insecure that you can't cope with hearing him mention it in a passing comment?

He wasn't comparing her to you. She is not a threat you you, His comment was not a judgement on you. If you go into a sulk about this he's going to think you are weirdly needy and insecure.

I'd react exactly like you op, I'd not be able to stop thinking about it whenever we had sex, wondering what is was she did to make her so good in bed in comparison to me.

Not sure what I would actually have done - but I like to think I would have laughed and said “I used to have amazing sex with my ex too”!L I bet he would have reacted awkwardly and said he didn’t mean it like that… at least you could have talked about it.
Hope you don’t sit on it and fester and spoil a potentially nice/ amazing time!

Agree. I think this is lousy. I’ve been married many years now. We’ve talked about previous relationships but I’d never say anything like what this man said to my DH. It’s so disrespectful. It’s a “shame”, the sex was “fantastic”. So crass and thoughtless. This isn’t about him having to censor himself, it’s just basic not being a dick. At best I’d be wary, but I might also be really over him after this.

Sounds like he’s letting you know he expects more in the sex dept. It’s a form of negging. Throw this one back, don’t have sex with him again.

I wouldn't want to hear how amazing sex was with someone else. I'd feel like it was a comparison or a stealth boast.

I wonder how he would react if you mentioned the amazing sex you had with an ex.

Thankfully me and dh are each other's best sex. (Or so we tell each other!)

This would upset me.

I know my DH's dating history and some things he had never done before being with me (so I can assume he had done other things with one/some of these people before), but that's the limit of how much information I'm comfortable with.
Definitely wouldn't want to know who he considered 'good' - that would be too much detail and it would bother me. We all have different boundaries around stuff like this.

Saying it's "a shame because the sex was incredible" would, to me, imply that he misses the sex though. He could have been more tactful!

How many threads are there on this site where a person asks about missmatched sex drives? The usual outcome is it can never work, especially in a new relationship. The two of you are close enough to have sex, you are close enough to deal with the fact you both have a past. He was a bit crass in his words but at the end of the day he said he matched with someone sex wise but he didnt match with them on other aspects. You can read into that however you wish but it could be that whilst sex is important to him, its not the only thing that matters in a relationship

Or he may have just made a flippant comment which he would regret if he knew it had caused you an issue. Maybe be on your toes next time and make sure he knows you are not comfortable with that kind of comment in future.

I would let it go and enjoy yourself but maybe

There was something along these lines on the relationships board a while back. Here's the link. Views were mixed

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5113201-the-sex-was-amazing

Personally I think I'd feel a bit meh if someone had said this to me. It's early days for your relationship. Maybe just keep an eye as to whether it was a one off slip, or if he's starting to chip away and make you feel insecure generally. In which case run for the hills