DH having a rant at me

You keeping on complaining makes him feel you expect him to sort it out. Even if you don't expect him to it is how it will make him feel. He did his best but instead of saying thanks you complained.

My interpretation of this is that in your mind you’re merely expressing your thoughts and feelings in a neutral way, and then your mind moves on to worrying if the kids are also cold since you are, and in your head you aren’t meaning any of this in a critical way. The problem is he does. To him you’re on at him about something he has no control over and which he’s doing his best to deal with. And since he feels it happens daily then it must be a common enough occurrence.

You need to communicate better with him about this. Tell him when you say things which he feels are criticisms, you aren’t meaning to criticise him, you’re just being too blunt. One of the traits of Autism is saying things that are offensive without realising it. You’re doing this. You need to talk to him about this aspect and be open to listening to him when he says he feels he’s being criticised by you again. Instead you’re getting defensive which is not going to lead to any future resolution of this ongoing issue.

Get some thermal socks and long johns for Christmas.

Read this

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5236601-silent-treatment-for-christmas-again

I was really upset at DH comments

Maybe he was equally upset at your criticism of his car? Which he could do nothing about. And you now expect an apology before you'll speak to him again There's probably a reason he's in no rush for that.

OP - AIBU? Most people - yes. OP - no I'm not

You sound like a nightmare. It's sounds like your marriage is to be endured rather than enjoyed!

I know, my car is a 04 reg Yaris, but it's a decent little runner and I'm glad to have it!

You sound annoying

Be there for you? You were cold, and complaining his car was cold. Repeatedly. Not the same as sickness and health.

What was your concern about the kids?

Shouslnt your husband listen, just listen, without exceptation.
Dear god……no, he shouldn’t.

Sorry OP. Dismissing him expressing his frustration as a complete exaggeration without even considering maybe you do moan a little is pretty dismissive. Why should he be the one to apologise? Why not both of you? It can be really draining when someone highlights their needs in wrong way - sucks joy out of life. ‘When you get a minute… would it be alright if… sorry to be a pain but is it ok if we crank up the heat’ all perfectly acceptable. Moaning about school runs though not really necessary. Sorry you’re ill but that would’ve got on my nerves too.

I was really upset at DH comments. We didn't speak yesterday or today. He will apologise but I don't want to forgive him.

There is a term for that, op. It's called the silent treatment. It's a form of controlling behaviour used by abusers. There are several threads here by despairing women whose husbands do this to them.

So pull yourself together and start communicating properly.

You know the car is older and colder. He knows and tried to compensate. Yet you went on and on and on and on. Being ND is not an excuse. He must have felt very worn down.

You know you have a health condition affected by cold. You should have done the adult thing and put on warm socks, boots etc.

He is always belittling me and my feelings.

Perhaps he's reacting to how he feels about the way you speak to him.

Shouslnt your husband listen, just listen, without exceptation.

Your husband is a whole other person with the right to his own feelings too. Being expected to just listen without exception suggests you don't seem to believe that.

My DH is like this - it is so draining. You need to stop moaning. He’s the same - when I ask him to stop criticising and moaning he says ‘oh I just won’t speak then shall I? I’ll be a mute’.

I can’t tell you how annoying it is. We often argue about it.

No, I'm not. He is my husband, I would everything for him if he was ill and bedridden. I wouldn't hesitate for a second but I am feeling unwell or upset about something then surely he should be there for me. Just like I am for him.

Great. So in the exact example you have posted about, 'being there for him always' as you claim you are, would look like 'I feel so sorry for you Bob, shall we swap cars?' Except that isn't remotely what you did. Simply saying 'I'm always there for him' whilst your actions suggest otherwise, isn't much use.

HypER thyroidism makes you feel super hot not cold

Team DH here. You sound like an insufferable moaner.
As for the car being cold for the kids - how terrible, how will the little darlings ever cope?

Yes I think your poor DH needs a break. You sound utterly exhausting and will no doubt use the ND card to try and help you.

You sound annoying. Not everything you think needs to be said.

Agreed. Op sounds like a pain here

Surely if you were sat in the front passenger seat you had full access to the heating controls? So you could have changed the heat direction to your feet yourself.

It’ll be like that one the other day where the vast majority of people told the OP she was being unreasonable and she clung on to the fact that three people and a gerbil thought she wasn’t as “proof” she was right…

But you were not bedridden, so I'm not sure you have a valid comparisons - you were momentarily cold whilst the car warmed up. That scenario doesn't need "support".

I hope you are not passing on this lack of resilience and complaining to your children.

OP - AIBU?
Nearly every reply - yes
OP - No I am not

What exactly did you want him to do about you being cold in the car?

It’s winter for fucks sake, and many of us with older cars have to bare a few minutes of chillyness before they heat up.

You’d love my car OP. It’s a 58 plate and will take longer than your husbands car to warm up.

Get a grip.