To think that non drinkers are often hard work..

Woah woah woah. No chocolate for a month? Now that is crazy talk.

I mean your individual friend might be hard work - not apparent going on anything you’ve said though.

I don’t think people who don’t drink are hard work. People I know who don’t just don’t have an alcoholic drink. Just like if I don’t want to drink on a specific evening I would just have something else. Doesn’t sound a big deal to me!

The fact you see alcohol as a real drink and refuse to pay for non alcoholic drinks speaks volumes.

There's no way you simply have a few drinks a month, yet have this strong an opinion on your friend opting out of a few drinks a month.

It’s not your friend’s fault that you are only fun when you drink.

you are being overly judgemental, well done to your friend.

deleted double post

I thought we'd got past the bad old days when people would get mocked for sticking to an orange juice. Is it the 1970s again?

I think it depends. Of it's holier than thou I'm so superior now that I don't drink and banging on about it constantly then whilst I'm pleased for the individual i don't particularly want to spent time with them (see also my colleague and her annual bore about slimming world)
Generally yabu - non drinkers can be just as engaging as drinkers whatever the reason for not drinking

I don’t drink or eat chocolate 😂. Cheese on the other hand…

I stopped socialising with a ‘friend’ like you. I’m not a big drinker and don’t touch a drop if I’m driving, my friend knew this yet every time we went out she would repeatedly say things like ‘you can have a glass of wine and still be fine to drive’ etc. Took me a while to realise she was simply incapable of socialising without a drink, no matter what time of day or where we were.

You’re being so unreasonable. If she doesn’t want to drink she doesn’t have to. The whole idea that her mocktail shouldn’t be the same price as an alcoholic drink shows that you seem to put a lot of value on the alcohol itself and not the being in a nice environment enjoying a drink and some time with a friend.

In my experience nobody who is genuinely secure in their own level of alcohol consumption has ever had an issue with anyone else choosing not to drink.

I don’t tend to do dry Jan because often I find I’ve gone 2/3 weeks or so without drinking and don’t even notice until that time has passed. I find as I get older I can’t drink much without having a bad hangover, and I don’t drink on work nights.

I no longer really enjoy drinking because it screws up my sleep and leaves me feeling rubbish the next day even often after 1 glass of wine. I drink occasionally when I decide it's worth it. I don't make a fuss of it though, although people still sometimes seem to feel judged by me not drinking or only having 1 small one. I genuinely don't care what they choose to do.

If you are doing rounds, does it matter what she is drinking? You aren't paying more than if she had alcohol and it will take longer for the bartender to make than say a glass of wine. It does seem a little OTT to announce she is never drinking again!

You’re missing the point. Perhaps she’s just doesn’t enjoy it anymore? There’s nothing childish about changing your mind about something.

But why do you mind if she does?

Where did I say you did ?

People who have issues with other people not drinking tend to have their own issues with drinking, even if they are not aware of it.

Personally, I don't see someone wanting to find a bar that does good mocktails any different to a drinker who wants to find a bar that does good cocktails, or real ale, or any other alcoholic drink.

I think your comment about "putting silly bans on it like a child" has made it clear that you are really pissed at her for giving it up.

If you have any respect for her at all, just let it go. You don't need to drink to have fun with someone. Also.a good mocktail when done right is unreal. Currently pregnant and I'd always choose a decent place that does them

This is the wrong forum for this, OP 😂

I haven't drunk alcohol for decades. Not an issue with any of my friends and nor has anyone asked me my reasons. It is a non issue. YABVU.

Wow. I don't drink at all, haven't for over 30 years - I just drink whatever sugar-free variety of Coke or Pepsi is going, and I can't think of a single occasion where anyone has ever questioned me about it. Well, they might assume I'm driving which I usually am, obvs. If anyone asks me a direct question "why aren't you drinking" I'll give the short version (I used up all my drinking days as a teenager, got no tolerance for it now) and they just accept it.

Why is it such a big deal to you? Are you worried that she won't be as fun if you're drunk and she's not?

I mean it’s her choice and she can do whatever she wants. With no judgement.

It might just change what you do with her. My bf is similar- we used to enjoy going for a glass of wine and a big chat and laughs. She’s now teetotal, I like a glass of wine but won’t drink when someone else isn’t as it kills the vibe. So we now just go for a day walk or coffee and I go out for dinner with others. It definitely has changed things- I have to get babysitters or DH to have the kids to go out in the evening and it’s an effort to sort childcare- but I’ll only arrange this if it’s a fun night and yes to me that involves a glass of wine! So I’ve stopped going out in the evening with her.

Also to add I’m not a big drinker- never binge or drink at home. But I love the feeling of that first glass of fizz type thing

So her not drinking is silly and childish? I think you may need to look in the mirror. Why does your friend making a healthy choice for herself bother you so much? You’re being weird about this.