Am I a horrible person?

You're not horrible, OP.

But some of these comments are vile.

Why bash a woman who is clearly vulnerable? If your husband can't keep their dick in his trousers, then maybe it's because the wife is lacking?

Obviously, not really.

It's because the man can't/won't be faithful.

So don't be unkind. That's nasty and unfair.

OP has asked for support. Let's play nice.

I'm similar to you but I also have a long term partner I'm in an open relationship with.

I don't care, I don't feel bad about it. You're attracted to who you're attracted to and the idea that you can only be attracted to one person ever/at a time is just silly. Have sex with whoever you like, as long as they are legal and consenting it really doesn't matter.

Most people have sex with other people outside their relationship at one point or another, and if you're reading this thinking "no they don't" then sorry to say it's your partner if it's not you.

Sorry op you are happily single but on the other side is a girlfriend or wife who is happily coupled up. I think you need therapy and the person you have sex with deserves to have the rug pulled from under him!

I believe it's too black and white to say you are horrible. Plus I don't know you, so don't know what motivates you or why you've behaved like this. I think it's positive you've recognised your actions impact other people negatively. I agree with those who suggest therapy.

I’m sure you’re not a horrible person, but sleeping with married men when you know full well they are married is wrong. So yes it does make your morals questionable.

What? It’s nothing to do with the OW. It’s all on the cheating husbands.

OP, it’s not how I’d operate. I’d feel bad for the wives involved. But this is on the men not you. You haven’t made a vow to the wife. However I do wonder if this ultimately make you happy. Wouldn’t you like to be someone’s special person? Someone to share the ups and downs, trips and holidays, and the day to day. It’s really quite nice when you find someone nice and decent, rather than these cheating twats.

What you have been doing is wrong.
Don’t do it again.

To consciously choose to sleep with married men is horrible behaviour.

You can choose to change.

A good way to look at it is this. If you knew of a friend of yours who was devastated because her OH had been cheating on her with a woman who said 'I only ever like taken men', what would you think of that woman? I'd think she was a really horrible, selfish person.

It would be ridiculous to think that a person could not be nice, and have an affair. There is no one reason why people have affairs, it is too simplistic to label all these people as not being nice, being horrible etc. In your case OP, I think that there is a reason that you do not want to have a relationship with someone, who is free, and available to commit to you, for whatever reason. If you feel it is such a problem for you, then therapy would be advisable, to work through the reasons why you act this way.

Completely agree

Would your taken men's partners think you were a kind, caring, thoughtful, helpful and just generally nice person if they found out about you?

Interesting calling yourself kind, nice, thoughtful, a good person while facilitating cheating and conducting illicit relationships.
Is that what generally nice people do?

You are behaving in a self-serving way which encourages - glories in - betrayal and deceit. And you know this and are choosing it because it suits you.

That makes your behaviour amoral and selfish. There will be a reason for it if you review your childhood and early life.

It doesn't make you a very nice person and you aren't someone I'd ever trust or be close to.
Having been very hurt in the past by my ex husband I can't understand why you'd seek taken men or continue to have relationships with them knowing you could really hurt someone

Whilst it might be tempting to be judgemental and say you are horrible I won't. I am not one for gut feelings as a general rule but mine is thinking you have been badly hurt in past relationships and are suffering from low self esteem and emotional baggage. Hooking up with married men is your way, of at least perceptively getting the thrill and companionship of sex that comes with a relationship, but without having to put yourself in the vulnerable position of committing emotionally to a man. Them being married makes it easy to think of them as emotionless sex machines, eliminating any emotional attachment and consequential risk of your emotional state/esteem being battered by the analogy of a category 5 hurricane if they dump you.

Having sex with a man married to another Woman is a grotesque thought. If he doesn't want his Wife or she doesn't want him then he has some serious issues. Stay away from the losers. The Wife always blames the OW on Mumsnet. 😂

There's not enough info to say you are all round horrible. Maybe you rescue abandoned puppies or knit blankets for refugee children in your spare time and run the local foodbank.

But deliberately seeking out married/ taken men and having an affair with them, knowing you are colluding in perpetrating a huge betrayal and potentially causing immense pain to their wives and children, is at best amoral. You either don't care or actively enjoy seeing someone else's life being destroyed which is not nice.

It doesn't 'make you' anything, but having an affair with someone already in a relationship is likely to contribute in a lot of pain for their partner. Is that a good thing to do? Is it something you want to do?

You sleep with 'taken' men because deep down, you find it exciting to be the other woman without actually having the complications of a relationship. It excites you to act the part of the fun, sexy one who can tempt a man while his partner has to be the boring, domestic one who asks him to put the bins out. It's not difficult to see what's going on here, but I don't think it paints you in a particularly good light.

I used to have a FWB thing with a man who told me was single. I then found out he wasn't single, and as soon as I found out I put a stop to the FWB thing immediately. Primarily because I've no interest in facilitating a man's cheating on his partner, but also for my own self-respect. Why would I want to bother with with some other woman's scraps?

You're not doing anything wrong. You're single....

The men you date sound gross though!

Even if you didn’t know they were taken? That’s a bit unnecessarily harsh on hypothetical you!

I don’t agree that the OW isn’t to blame, particularly not one who knowingly goes after “taken” men.

My girl code is stronger than that. I would be disgusted with myself if I even unwittingly dated/kissed/hooked up with a man who was already in a relationship.

Maybe you get a thrill from the chase of the taken man.

No one can say.

Book yourself in for counselling.

I don't think you're a horrible person.

You made no one promises of monogamy. Those blokes did, they're the ones who broke their promise and commitment.

Still think you may need therapy to work out why you only want to have dealings with unavailable men.

But you're not the horrible one here. The other women just get blamed because no one wants to blame the blokes, for whatever reason.. like to think they cant help it or something and it's the responsibility of other women to keep them faithful... despite those blokes being the only people who made them any promises and those other women owning them nothing.