Husband attended year end function without me even though I was invited

I'm so sorry. This events is the least of your problems. You don't have to stay in your industry, you know. If you have a baby you are presumably young, and your future happiness is more important than clinging to the sunk costs fallacy of this 2 year project.

Get out and start over.

Actually scrub that, it probably would benefit the OP to have evidence of an affair because on her other thread she's detailed his long term financial and emotional abuse. But honestly the best thing she could do is just get out.

👏

I'm 68 and my late DH would have been 70 now. He was an absolute equal in parenting and domestic stuff when we had our children, and that was how it was will all of our friends.

Some people on Mumsnet have bonkers ideas about people of our age.

His head has been turned. I don’t think its possible to stop it once it starts.

I’m sorry, I hope he doesn’t mess you up too much on his way. Best wishes to you and your baby x

I don't think "booking yourself a day out" is going cut it!

I agree with the majority that there is something else going on sadly for you OP, even if there's not he's an absolute arse and why would you want to be with someone so awful to you?

You must be new here. 😂

I would be well on my way to divorcing him.

Please get some advice on how to leave this man. I know from your other thread that your income and career are intertwined with his, which makes things difficult. But even so, there are charitable organisations who can help you find a way out of this marriage.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5193860-father-not-helping-with-baby

I cannot, for the life of me, imagine why you think everyone over 60 would behave like this? Does it seem extraordinarily old to you?

I don’t know any decent individual of my own age who would do what the OP’s husband has done. Morality isn’t a matter of age.

Would you even bother? Does it make it easier to get a divorce? Because otherwise the "your place is in the house with the baby" shite would have put him off me enough that finding out there was an affair would make no difference either way.

This is what im wondering and i dont usually jump to that- but the picking fights before meetings, staying after and now this…

I would be extraordinarily suspicious of this behaviour.
At best, it's hurtful.

Your H is up to something, I too suspect he’s had his head turned. And sadly he doesn’t even respect you enough to hide it any more. Sorry op. You need to have a serious think about what you want to do.

Yep this would be my guess.

Or he's unbelievably sexist and genuinely thinks now you're a mother you stay at home and he does what the fuck he wants.

Or - and this is horribly shallow - have you seen the committee members since you had your baby? Has your appearance changed significantly or you've stopped eg wearing make up and he feels like he doesn't want to show you off?

Before baby did he get hammered at these events?

This 100%

I didn't recognise OP, but I'm not surprised there's more to it.

Sorry but my first thought is that there's someone at these meetings that he prefers spending his time with.

The decision for you to not attend due to the baby is one that you should both discuss - not him make the decision alone.

I would be angry and concerned (is there another reason he decided this?)

Your Husbands head has been turned by someone at work and he wants you out of the way.

Having children is one of the biggest catalysts for husbands to start to cheat. They are no longer the centre of the world and can't deal with it.

I would only be upset with the fact he lied and said no spouses. Why wasn’t he just honest and say I’d prefer to go alone? Spouses don’t have or need to go to these things he is in his rights to go alone if he wants to but the lying about it is not ok and saying a mother should stay at home with a baby is a bit 1950s

The problem is not that he went alone to the event alone. The problem is...
he decided ...he would attend alone since I had to look after our baby. According to him, he is not wrong for making this decision on him own without consulting/informing me? ... he just said it is unnecessary to make alternative arrangements and that this is what a mother should do, stay at home with the baby.

He is a misogynistic pig! I wonder what he is objectionable about?

I remember your other post about him. You already know that he's a pig and you need to leave him. He has treated you so badly throughout your pregnancy and since your baby has arrived. For your child's sake as much as your own, you know you must leave. You're clearly a smart lady so use that brain to plan your exit. He is not going to get any better, if anything it'll get worse. Good luck

That is a piss take. He should have asked you if you wanted to go. But the way he acts with these functions, starting a row, staying out late. It makes it sound almost like he never wanted you there in the first place. Do you enjoy the functions? Did he argue with you during the event? It makes me feel like he is saying he wants to be there alone. Or with his 'mates'.

Is he like this about other aspects of his life?

And he sounds sexist AF to claim that you should be at home with the baby.

If I were you I'd make arrangements to go on a night out with my mates once a week or month, leaving the baby with him. He can't just renege on his duties as a parent.