Husband attended year end function without me even though I was invited

From OP’s previous posts, yes he was actually. But that’s no excuse.

Does anyone in your industry know that you’re still working, or does he take the credit for your work ? He seems to be cutting you off from your industry as well as your friends.

That is...awful. What you have said RE the meetings and the length of time he spends at them, plus the phone off on the night of the event ......sounds like his interest is elsewhere, sorry. Also 'A mother's job'....was he born in the 50s?

In this situation, the poster is right.

Reading that other thread, the dinner is the least of your problems. You are married to an abuser, and need to work out how to leave him.

You've posted about this bellend before haven't you? Just the unilateral decision that it's your place to stay home with baby and not go out would piss me off. That he lied (and you only found out as he was caught in it by the other wife showing up to your door) more so.
The picking a fight before every meeting and not coming home as discussed would make me suspicious AND annoyed.

Really, you deserve better @NumbMother. You know you do

Thank you - I came here to say the same thing.

OP I am so sorry you are being treated this way. The fact that you had to come here to ask if you’re being unreasonable shows how vulnerable you are. For what it’s worth, you are not being unreasonable in the slightest and his behaviour is appalling.

Please seek some independent support from Women’s Aid or a similar organisation. Half the reason you are feeling so despondent and questioning yourself is because he has managed to strip away your self confidence, independence and faith in your ability to survive without him. For your child’s sake, if not your own, please get some external support to help you leave this relationship, which is without doubt abusive, controlling and coercive. You owe it to yourself to find the strength to see how much more you are worth than this.

He’s a sexist pig.

That's awful!

I would immediately think my DH either fancied someone else attending or was embarrassed by my looks and didn't want me there.

I would struggle to get past this.

For god's SAKE, OP.

You are married to an arsehole.

Raise your expectations and self respect.

Do you have family/friends to talk to?

@NumbMother sorry but were there also single women attending?? do you think something might be going on?? that is not acceptable in my book!!

what a wanker
are you going back to work?

You are overthinking my comment. I certainly didn't say everyone over sixty, just the one she is married to. I'm 55 so I know plenty of husbands around this age who are not like this. But hers is, I suppose any age difference would count rather than specific ages.

You need to not look at each "issue" as a one off problem and look at the bigger picture.

Do you feel he respects you as an equal partner and parent? You trust each other? That you have open and honest two way communication? It appears not.

You can't change him. You need to decide if you are going to accept who he is or not.

When I told him that we could have arranged for a babysitter, he just said it is unnecessary to make alternative arrangements and that this is what a mother should do, stay at home with the baby.

Is he a time-traveller from Victorian times? If not, I'd suggest making 'alternative arrangements' for him to take himself to fuck.

This would upset me. DH did something similar some years ago now. I was definitely invited to the event, a bday party for someone at his work but I do know them all - the invitation came by post and had my name on it along with DHs.

I said great - we'll get a baby sitter. Dh was oh no I'm not going, I'm not going....and then last minute, oh I really should pop my head in , well he stayed for the duration came back at 12. so basically he did go😡. This pissed me Off!

Red flags all over this one. If it had been an isolated incident that's one thing but it sounds like part of a pattern. Whether he's having an affair or not, what's important is that he's decided he doesn't have any responsibility to you or your shared child - at least none that trumps his own desire to go out and have fun. And giving you the silent treatment is a very bad sign about his ability to handle conflict. Sounds like a moment for couples counselling and some tough love - don't focus on the event itself but rather the longer-term pattern.

To be fair, I didn’t know she made previous posts. But looking at that, it makes this whole thread a bit redundant

I agree his head has been turned.

but in the grand scheme of things, does it even matter? His behaviour towards you is awful enough to end your marriage - even if there is no one else.

im so sorry he’s treating you this way. His attitude is appalling and reveals that he doesn’t seem to even like you- never mind love.

You clearly didn't read till the end of the post to notice the part where the husband is giving the OP the silent treatment when she tries to have a conversation with him so your advice further down the thread is null and void.
Someone already disabused you of your conviction that this is an isolated incident with multitude of innocent explanations. So yes, it does make me feel good that maybe, just maybe another woman is going to look at the messages in this thread spelling out the obvious and finds the strength to escape this abusive relationship and avoid the situation I was living for years.
And I didn't even know about her previous thread when I posted but I am also happy that my psychic abilities are spot on.

My DH is 72 and was a full parent to both our children. Night wakes, nappies , time off work to look after a sick DC.
My dad would have been 94 this year and was a full hands on dad.
This " man" is actually a gobshite.

I’m sorry op it’s horrendous that you were so shut down, that he doesn’t even see your side. Did you ask him how he’d feel if the roles were reversed? To be honest my first thought is it’s good you have a job and aren’t a sahm because otherwise I think you’d get locked out of a lot of decisions. Maybe text a few of your friends in that organisation and say it without saying it? So let them know you didn’t know you could go. And definitely talk to him about again x

He's a nasty sod.

From now on you attend the meetings regardless of whether he is going or not. Travel separately if need be. If the baby is too tired or distracting one of you go home early - every second time expect that your husband will do that.
Do not accept that you have retired from the organisation.

About this Christmas funcion. I would have said - hang on - I'm coming too.
I would have attended the break up and I would have taken the baby along and stayed as long as you wanted.

You are right OP, you should be furious.
he doesn’t want you there, why?
Why create an argument before every meeting?
and now the silent treatment.
he’s not a nice man,
don’t put up with this silent treatment. You need to find your strength and tell him this stonewalling behaviour stops now. He treats you with respect.
i do agree with other posters, you need to get your ducks in a row now, and be ready.
id not be staying carried to a man who behaves like this.

My husband did this to me once, a work function where partners were invited, but I didn’t get the invite. He sat on a table with his colleague and good mate and his wife. I was annoyed about it, not because I particularly wanted to go but that he’d not even invited me…he used to invite his ex to work functions when they were together. We’re still together and he wasn’t cheating but even now thinking about it pisses me off.