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AIBU?

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Original poster

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

360 replies

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

OP posts:
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17
usernother · 10/11/2024 20:18

Just leave her. Don't give any clue, just leave. She'll be distraught, posters up all over the streets, fb posts etc but make sure you're not found. It serves her right.

JudgeJ · 10/11/2024 20:18

Longleggedblond · 10/11/2024 18:54

I prefer my servants food, her ladyship said the male servant shouldn't give me chicken,but he sneaks me a bit. Today they had pork. She said for religious reasons I can't have that but had some anyway. Yummy. She told male servant I was going to be sat outside on Christmas day but her elderly aunt will give me something to eat I bet. Bah humbug to that. Servants are so controlling. I feel your pain.

Ha, climb the Christmas tree, it can be great fun especially if you manage to tip it over and they all get unseasonably angry, you may even get lucky and make the silly little lights go out but don't try to bite through the long green thing which disappears into the wall!

BlackCatsAreBrilliant · 10/11/2024 20:17

bellocchild · 10/11/2024 19:48

If you are going to throw up because of the collar, make sure you do it on the carpet, or better, a really special rug...

Show quote history

Carpet is for amateurs. Aim for some important and irreplaceable paperwork.

Werp · 10/11/2024 20:17

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

Haven’t RTFT but maybe you’re not leaving enough innards for her? She might feel more loved if you share parts eg at her bedroom door as a first thing in the morning present? Or if you are sharing could be she wants some mice or bats for a bit of variety?

dapsnotplimsolls · 10/11/2024 20:17

Jeffrey doesn't have a leg to stand on with a name like that.

Marblesbackagain · 10/11/2024 20:14

You surely mean staff? Humans are staff.

NettleTea · 10/11/2024 20:13

do as I did and drop a seagull in.

It wasnt really keen on the battering it was getting from the catflap, but once Id got a good hold of its wing I managed to drag in through.

I didnt kill it though. So nobody can moan. But they bloody did

AgnesX · 10/11/2024 20:13

Cuppachuchu · 10/11/2024 18:09

Nip over the road and just do some pitiful meowing with sad eyes. Et voila! Fresh new slave for you. (probably an upgrade in food, too). 😸

😁

Edingril · 10/11/2024 20:08

Not let your muse go to the toilet in peace

chickenlettuceunderbacon · 10/11/2024 20:08

This thread is on a par with Mary of Teck. Well done OP! 😻🐭🕊️

How old do I look? | Mumsnet

Be honest

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5169799-how-old-do-i-look

Ellmau · 10/11/2024 20:08

Do it in next door's garden instead.

Cassandra28 · 10/11/2024 20:06

My name is Hector and love squirrels. Live opposite a graveyard so birds are for wimps.

Asuitablecat · 10/11/2024 20:03

Just checking in.

EsmeWWax · 10/11/2024 20:03

LTB

minipie · 10/11/2024 20:02

Beekeepingmum · 10/11/2024 19:49

Which to mice - leave them on the pillow - owners love that.

No no no. Far too easy to clean up. Best to injure the mouse badly then chase it under a heavy piece of furniture to die there undetected - until the smell begins.

Happy days.

TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 20:01

BTW Six Dinners Sid is my great uncle.

He's a legend in his own lifetime.

TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 19:59

Ooh, the man across the road gives me sardines!

MermaidEyes · 10/11/2024 19:59

And her relative gave me milk which apparently isn't good for cats, but I like it and it doesn't give me tummy ache.

Oh yes I love milky things too. Especially creamy yoghurt. Even better when it's fresh in the bowl for my owner's breakfast and she hasn't started eating it yet. I mean, who puts yoghurt in a bowl and doesn't start eating it straight away? I'm very stealthy so I'm pretty sure she's never noticed I've lapped some of it up....

TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 19:57

bellocchild · 10/11/2024 19:48

If you are going to throw up because of the collar, make sure you do it on the carpet, or better, a really special rug...

Show quote history

I've always tried to throw up in places they can't easily reach.

I had a good one a few weeks ago - they had to move a heavy bookcase to get to it and clear it up!

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 10/11/2024 19:56

Yanbu.

Have you tried shitting in their trainers to get your point across ?

JudgeJ · 10/11/2024 19:55

UrbanFan · 10/11/2024 18:35

best ever thread on Mumsnet. My cat approves. 😂It's purrfect

It's not 'My cat', it's the cat who honours you with his presence and never forget it!

JudgeJ · 10/11/2024 19:54

BrightYellowDaffodil · 10/11/2024 18:33

Vomit in their shoes, OP. That’ll learn ‘em.

Or at the side of their bed, just where their feet land during a loo dash.

AllThatEverWas · 10/11/2024 19:53

Simple. Use the bells on the collar as training aids

I caught a BigFurry this summer - it was for the kittens, ok? I tried bringing it in for them to play with - I was on the windowsill, rubbing the new Furry against the glass, and they kept shooing me away, talking about how it looked like I was starring in a zombie film, waving my headless Furry around (I enjoy the brains, I'm a connoisseur). In the end, they wrestled my toy which was for the babies , off of me on the doorstep before I was allowed in.

Anyway. They put a collar on me, with a bell. It upped my game considerably, I quickly learnt to be much much better at acquiring BigFurries things. So they ordered more bells. Unbelievable really. I walked around sounding like Santa's fucking elf in the middle of July. Totally levelled up my skills. Course, they had to order the collars in a twelve pack cos they're so easy to pop off.

JudgeJ · 10/11/2024 19:53

Balloonhearts · 10/11/2024 18:13

Get new staff. Don't know who these humans think they are? You'd think they own the place!

Introduce yourself to Sid, he's a master of finding the very best dining places!

Createausername1970 · 10/11/2024 19:51

Don't fret too much, you know what's coming soon.....

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
your branches green delight us.

Oh Christmas Tree. Oh Christmas Tree
They hang them from the ceiling just to spite us.
🎄🎄

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