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Original poster

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

360 replies

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

OP posts:
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17
bellocchild · 10/11/2024 20:39

Remember: humans need snacks too. Pop a mouse in her handbag for when she's peckish...

SimpleThings101 · 10/11/2024 20:38

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

LTB

freedohm · 10/11/2024 20:37

chickenlettuceunderbacon · 10/11/2024 20:08

This thread is on a par with Mary of Teck. Well done OP! 😻🐭🕊️

Oh THAT was the best thread EVER!!! ❤️

Sailawaygirl · 10/11/2024 20:36

My owner loves wildlife especially birds. She has these funny long tubes to see them better. So i take pitty and and make sure I catch her favourite birds so she can see them up close, long tailed tit, gold finches, gold crest, coot, willow warbler, water rail. She's so happy amd screams for ages! She even cried with joy.

But if birds aren't appreciated how about bats. All the fun catching a bird but they are technically mice with wings!

FuzzyPuffling · 10/11/2024 20:35

Maybe we cats could gang up on anyone who thinks we should be permanently restricted to indoors?
Meow.

freedohm · 10/11/2024 20:35

MadWereWolf · 10/11/2024 20:32

Think yourself lucky.

Look what I've got to wear so 'I don't scary the bloody birds...'

I will be the laughing stock of the street if I am spotted. Bastards.

Consider yourself lucky.

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 10/11/2024 20:35

Emmy cat says when my slaves told me off I brought back double the amount the next day. There’s no flies on this cat.

Breadcat24 · 10/11/2024 20:35

If you do bring them an intact mouse at 4am and they are unappreciative and take it from you, bring the same sodding mouse back at 5am to show them you really care.
Top tip a chucked up hairball really looks like a poo if you want to send them into a cleaning frenzy but do not feel the need.

Wouldcouldcantwont · 10/11/2024 20:35

I think you need a staycation at the neighbours house for the weekend, and then return triumphant with a half eaten mouse. If that fails, a dirty protest on the bedroom floor next to the bed in the servant's quarters will be your next step.

TheShellBeach · 10/11/2024 20:34

........make sure you only eat 2 out of the 4 flavours of pouch in a box

Or pretend to like them all, the first time she buys them - you know, when she just gets the box of 12.

But then you can laugh to yourself when you see her order 96 on Amazon Subscribe & Save.

And watch her dismay when you next sniff the contents of your bowl, then walk off without eating anything.

Rinse and repeat with the other three flavours.

Never fails to piss them off.

WinteringWellies · 10/11/2024 20:33

Cats can’t help their natural hunting instincts, and they will kill anything they can catch

Have you even RTFT? We do not kill everything we catch, we leave it half dead after torturing it for a little while. I thank you.

MadWereWolf · 10/11/2024 20:32

Think yourself lucky.

Look what I've got to wear so 'I don't scary the bloody birds...'

I will be the laughing stock of the street if I am spotted. Bastards.

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore
freedohm · 10/11/2024 20:31

I listened to my slave owner, and since then I’ve only brought in birds and mice that are alive. I’ve made friends with them. The other day my slave owner came home from work and saw me sitting on the kitchen table next to a cute little bird. We were just chilling but she went mad anyway. Can’t win. 🙄 She didn’t even give me credit for managing to jump up on the table, I mean I am 17 years old after all. 😭

Toddlerteaplease · 10/11/2024 20:30

Gulbekian · 10/11/2024 18:05

Owner FFS? What the hell is wrong with you? She's your slave, not your owner. Now cat up and make it clear to her that you're the boss and you make the decisions. Honestly. I don't know what the world is coming to.

My thoughts exactly. Cats don't have owners, they have staff.

Fidelius · 10/11/2024 20:29

Although this thread is funny and light-hearted, I don’t care about the flaming I’ll get. Domestic cats are a scourge on small mammal and bird populations throughout the world. If you have one, keep it inside and don’t let it roam outside freely. Cats can’t help their natural hunting instincts, and they will kill anything they can catch.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/aug/14/cats-kill-birds-wildlife-keep-indoors

Is it time to end cats’ right to roam?

Pet cats kill songbirds by the million, as well as other wildlife. But how much of a threat do they really pose, and should they be kept indoors?

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/aug/14/cats-kill-birds-wildlife-keep-indoors

FuzzyPuffling · 10/11/2024 20:29

Peachy2005 · 10/11/2024 20:27

Careful now…she might end up putting you in one of these monstrosities!

Do the birds die laughing instead?

Peachy2005 · 10/11/2024 20:27

Careful now…she might end up putting you in one of these monstrosities!

My owner won't let me eat birds anymore
BlackCatsAreBrilliant · 10/11/2024 20:26

You need to make it as hard as possible for your slave to feed you.

  • make sure you only eat 2 out of the 4 flavours of pouch in a box.
  • lick the gravy/jelly off and leave the rest
  • pretend to like a food. Then, when you see your slave arrive with a large box of it, refuse to ever eat it again

Eventually, your slave will be so fed up they won't care what you eat from the wonderful smorgasbord of the outside world.

freedohm · 10/11/2024 20:24

Are you saying she is telling you what to do? Who does she think she is? 🙄

FallingIsLearning · 10/11/2024 20:24

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 18:01

FUCK OFF about the bell! No way, All my mates - Jeffrey at 57 in particular - would not stop taking the piss.

Lsst time I ripped it off and left it by the bins

Is the cat’s name on purpose?

If so, great reference!

NettleTea · 10/11/2024 20:23

Candymay · 10/11/2024 18:54

It shows she loves you dearly. She doesn’t want you roaming around getting injured or stolen. Be glad. Believe it or not there are some cat owners that leave their pets roaming and if they get killed by cars they get another cat and guess what- they leave that one to roam around too.

They even convince themselves that a short ‘natural’ life is better than keeping their pet inside and providing care and stimulation to mimic hunting games.

You know all those posters you see looking for lost cats? They have owners that think cats belong outside fending for themselves.

methinks you have Stockholm syndrome

Mimiconvos · 10/11/2024 20:23

I actually think your owner is right, you sound Grabby going for birds. I mean what’s wrong with mice ffs!

leftfootinletfootout · 10/11/2024 20:22

When my owner tried that shit with me, I ripped the collar off, told her to piss off and brought home a big fat mouse to get my point across

LuluBlakey1 · 10/11/2024 20:20

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

You need to change your whole mindset . 'My owner' - there's your issue, mate!

Workingmum13 · 10/11/2024 20:18

AHungryCat · 10/11/2024 17:59

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

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