Is it o.k to let your 11 year old daughter hang out on the local park?

Tell her it might be funny but you are doing what every caring parent would do. 💐

Yes it’s easier when they are younger - you know where they are!!
It’s getting the balance right!! It is hard OP.
When they are 18 it’s the night clubs. Waiting for them to come home safely. Going to Uni.
My kids are now 24 and 26 years old.
Of course you want them to have a good time, but the key is to drill it into them about safety.
i tell them if you go out with friends you come home with friends. 👍

Have you explained that at eleven she is too young for boyfriends, that smart girls focus on their studies until university? Have you asked her why she would want or need a boyfriend?

I would challenge this op, and suggest she refers to him as her friend. Boyfriends can sometimes come with expectations. Even at eleven.

Angry yes, and I've even seen it among children younger than that.

Other MNers on young people in parks:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4493031-AIBU-to-confront-naughty-teenagers-in-the-park

This!
Is the boy really in year7? Is she telling the truth?

If it was me i would not let her go to the park. Even nice areas have got weirdos around. You are not safe no where these days. By all means tell her he can call for her and hang around the street together.

Its hard OP but you dont want her to rebel but shes only 11.

Yea lots of incredibly naive parents on this chat!!

Please read this op:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feminism/4270164-county-lines-gangs-give-young-girls-to-dealers

I also wanted to add that this is precisely where dealers hoover up young kids for county lines. There have been multiple instances of young children being recruited in these settings.

Once they become immersed in county lines it’s virtually impossible to get them out again. You lose them to an underworld of drugs and criminal gangs. It is an horrendous situation to end up in. We have worked with families that have had to fully relocate 500 miles away with new lives, because their children were being hunted down by city dealers and gang members.

Kids that hang out at parks are perfect prey. They even have a ready made cover story of where they are, with lots of unfettered access to schools and fall under the police radar because they are so young.

I know she’s Year 7 but my point is - that’s not far off. Don’t assume young kids are just talking about films etc. Some will be but others won’t be. As a PP said there’s a big gap between protected kids and those who aren’t at this age.

kids at my school were definitely snogging at the very least with boyfriends in Year 8, those without protective parents were up to all sorts at the same sort of age. And yes I mean sex acts. Just because we know they’re underage it doesn’t mean they care.

Absolutely no chance would I let mine out in the park unsupervised at 11 - as you say OP you don’t even want to be there yourself after dark. At least in 3 or 4 years she’ll be bigger and a bit wiser.

I second this. I hung out at the park with friends at this age growing up. Not a chance I’d let my children do the same based on my experience.

"because it's mainly just about the prestige of being seen to be going out with someone" 🙄 these are 11 year olds we are talking about right?

Yes, they are just children. I certainly would not be encouraging my 11 year old to be calling anyone a boyfriend, or me not wanting to embarrass her around her 'new boyfriend' as you said. Ridiculous IMO

(no I am not imagining they are up to anything dodgy fgs)

I would allow it (once I knew the boy and his parents) but that's just me.

I would definitely not assume there was anything dodgy or sexual about two 11 year olds calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Boyfriend and girlfriend at that age just involves hanging out, maybe holding hands especially if their friends are around, because it's mainly just about the prestige of being seen to be going out with someone. When they're alone they'll probably just chat.

I know right? No wonder all these out of control kids come from. This is a small child , and op thinks having a boyfriend is cute.

My nephew is yr7 and has a female friend. Their friends make a lot of "girlfriend" jokes but really its just platonic. They go for walks.

I think at 2-4pm in middle of the day you can't really police a secondary school kid meeting a friend.

However - if she has been texting him etc, you should know about it already. Don't you have access to her phone?

Honestly avoid the hanging out in the park like the plague! I’m staying at my mums for half term, super affluent area where the local school is massively over subscribed and outstanding. Took my two v small children to the park at 3.30. There were three groups of what looked to be yr 7 possibly year 8 kids in local school uniform, most were vaping, the language they were using was absolutely vile and they were talking about sex very explicitly, it was disgusting. As a secondary school teacher I would always have teenagers in my own house with doors open or on planned outings - costa/cinema/ a sport and would pick them up and drop them off

If it was the summer then 4-6 would be fine (well, in my area anyway. ) The dark brings an extra level of required vigilance and this is not the time for learning. Once it’s spring and lighter for longer then I would be happy with my y7 being out after school but until then I would tell her to stick to well light public places like a shopping centre in the afternoon or a coffee shop for an hour. It will hopefully be too cold for outdoor meetings soon which will help your case.