Thinking it’s weird that his 18 year old will have the master room

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5195676-dh-is-spoiling-his-adult-daughter

You would be really damaging the future relationship with her if the first thing that happens when you move in is you kick her out of her room. And actually all the reasons he says for giving her the master in the first place make perfect sense. Teens do use their bedrooms more (also teen girls would on average have more clothes than their dads!).

Yes maybe if you were starting from scratch you would have the room, but you are not, and given the second bedroom sounds better than many couples' master bedrooms, plus there is storage space elsewhere, how could it possibly be worth the disruption and damage to her first impression of living with you? If you want to 'start from scratch ' in your home you either need to buy a new place together or move in with a man who lives alone.

Well this isn’t a good start is it lol. I was ready to be on his side however I think I need to know the terms of your moving in. I assume you are paying the going rent in the area?

You've only answered the person that's agreed with you.

You've posted already under a different name 'asofcati'.
Only in this post you mentioned that the daughter had the second largest room, the house was brought together after you sold your home and moved in with your two sons. In that post around 8pm last night, you was complaining that her lifestyle is fully funded by her father (your DP) with designer clothes etc and it wasn't fair. She had lost her mother and there was money left over for her. But her dad was still taking care of her and she was working as an apprentice and making 24k.

I'm inclined to believe that you're a made up post, looking for traffic for a certain newspaper. But if you're not, why are you so against his own child. You sound very resentful of her.

If I was him I'd be calling it off

Not really. Our master is the loft conversion with en suite and our teenage daughter has that as she has privacy and uses her bedroom more than us.

So many posts disagreeing with you and you only reply to the person who says it's weird. Interesting insight into your character.

So you are moving from a £250k house to a £2.5 million house and you are bitching about not getting the room with the walk in even though it's highly unlikely you had that in your previous house. You are a walking red flag. I hope this guy protects his daughters interests in the future too.

Agree with all the other posts that it's a bad move on your part to try to make changes that affect his daughter.
You had better hope that you asking that hasn't rung alarm bells for him & that he isn't now reconsidering whether you moving in is a good idea after all.

And don't sell your house, that's madness! Rent it out

I think some of the replies are a bit unfair to you, OP.

Yes, I think it is a bit strange that she has the biggest room. No, I don't think it's a good idea to immediately suggest you swap rooms.

But all the posts saying your partner is just prioritising his daughter "as he should" are a bit strange to me. Absolutely, kids come first when they're young but it ends at some point, surely?

When the daughter is 30 and you are maybe married to the dad, are you still going to come second? I would find that very difficult to deal with.

It's probably worth having a conversation about what each of you expect in the long term and how you think your child and his daughter factor in.

YABU.

Based on the title I had assumed that you were all moving into a new house together, which would change things slightly. But of course you can’t expect his child to change her room because you are moving in.

Plus it’s not like his room is too small for you both, it just seems like you want feel like you are more important than his child. It’s good to see that he is not going along with this.

Why do you need to sell your house to move in? If I were you I would keep it and consider renting it out, so that you have that you have this as security.

Whilst I agree it makes more sense for 2 people to have the largest room do not do this! It is her room and she will hate you forever.

My dd is only at university for what seems like ten minutes.

She's doing a proper degree at a proper university but she finished on May 10th this year and she didn't go back until mid September. She finishes in the second week of December for Christmas.

And I assume she will move back in when she's finished as she won't be able to afford to live elsewhere.

I think you shouldn’t move in until his daughter decides to move out. He gave her that room for a reason. You don’t get to decide. This does not bode well.

Be pragmatic. After you partner’s daughter is done with uni, she will probably move out in a couple years, then you can have the bedroom you covet. And don’t sell your house…rent it out and get the mortgage paid off. That way, if this doesn’t work out, you have a place to go.

When I was a teenager my parents swapped rooms with me in our small two bedroom flat. I got the large double room and they squeezed into the tiny room. However, they wanted to do it as I could have friends over in my room, hang out etc and they had the run of the rest of the flat. I don’t see your partner’s set up as a problem at all, and I would be so upset if my dad made me give up my bedroom for his girlfriend!

I think your mad to sell your house, I wouldn’t be doing that at all.

It’s weird he doesn’t have the master bedroom in the first place. This isn’t going to end well and you will have lost a house, security and lots of money in the process.

Is this a wind up? This the 2nd thread in as many days about an 18 year old step daughter getting 'preferential' treatment over the new step family.

Goldilocks.

yabu. it's his daughters home and her room. Id think you had some serious brass neck suggesting tbh and would prob look at you like you had gone mad too if I were your dp. be careful op that you don't start off on the wrong foot with his daughter.

I don't understand the 'parents must have the biggest room' line of thought.

We have 3 x large doubles, 1 x v small double. Dh and I have the smallest which just fits our king-size bed in. 3 dc have large double rooms.

We sleep in our room. That's it. It doesn't matter whether we have 20 foot or 2 foot of empty space around our bed. To sit and relax we use the lounge. Friends round, same. To work, we have a study.

Our teenagers sleep in their rooms but they also entertain their friends in their rooms. Spend time on their Xbox. They study in there, do their homework and revision. Sometimes work out in their room (weights/resistance). In other words, they use the rooms.

It would make no sense for dh and me to have the biggest room just because.

Interesting that out of all the comments on your post you only reply to the one agreeing with you.
It makes sense what he has told you. You can’t expect to move in with someone and start moving people round. You’ve got a bedroom, you’ve got an en-suite and he’s offered you storage space in an extra room.

I hope he thinks about your comment and has the good sense to finish the relationship. You're sounding very entitled.

In fact, I wonder if you have just shown your partner exactly who you are, and this may not bode well for the relationship.

I had the largest bedroom as a kid. I had more stuff - a computer set up for homework, bookshelf as I loved reading. My mum didn't have those things so she said it made sense for me to have the bigger bedroom.

If this is already the set up YABU to want to go in and change if.