Arguing with an old lady

How do you know my children are not adopted and I'm actually older than childbearing age? How do you know my wife didn't give birth to them and I am significantly older than her?

Because of your own posts!!!
the woman said to you 'when you get to my age' and you are calling her old. She wouldn't have said that to you and you wouldn't be calling her old if you were old too. You are repeatedly referring to her as older than you. You say your own mother is in her 70s.

Obviously I can't be 'sure' that you weren't talking about an adopted/surrogate child which is why I said

"Given that you say you have a 1 year old it is legitimate inference that you are of child bearing age on probability basis."

Like I said it's not an assumption as you say, it's a logical inference. Your defensiveness suggests I was right

& it looks in fact like I was right given that you say were pregnant in 2023.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4728539-car-seat-help

Like a PP said, I would have pressed all the buttons below her floor so it stopped at every one 😂

I think it's odd that you've told me to be careful to assume anything , but you've assumed I'm young and healthy and didn't also need to use the lift quickly.

ODFOD

You are calling someone 'old'. It is a legitimate inference that you are not seeing yourself as 'old' as the whole tone of your post is perjorative about the old.

Given that you say you have a 1 year old it is legitimate inference that you are of child bearing age on probability basis.

Given from your post that you are clearly a very easily triggered and an aggressive woman not afraid of confrontation and full of your own entitlement, there is zero possiblity that you have a disability that entitles you to use the lift at speed that you wouldn't have spat in this poor woman's face and vaunted to his here to support your own position.

So I'd say it's a legitimate inference rather than an assumption.

IN your case however, given what the woman said to you, it's clear you are making assumptions.

OK, fair enough. But you expressed concern at how you came across to your child and had to explain yourself afterwards, so I'm assuming it was more than a polite and respectful sharing of your perspective.

That sort of thing though is someone who is struggling. I know we all have to manage whatever challenges we have, but something that outspoken and unprovoked is a case of having mental health or cognitive challenges I’m sure. I find it helps me to approach that sort of interaction with a bit of compassion - though I fully understand how unpleasant it must have been for you. I do think, though, it runs deeper than her just being rude.

I think you’re right that you could have done better, but the other woman could have done better too. However I think you’ve made this more about “giving as good as you get” and modelled unnecessary aggression in front of your children, and it all sounds a bit juvenile. It might have been better to have modelled quiet dignity. I’ve no right to judge you, once or twice I’ve done similar and regretted it, but since you asked, I think YABU.

In my opinion, like going through a door etc it's good manners in a lift to allow others to go first. Since when did everyone become so angry and entitled?

You should be teaching your children that it's not necessary to go hell for leather at other people over every small thing that annoys you. That some things are important and other things are not. In your OP you actually say you know you should have 'done better'. Some of us are agreeing with you and saying yes, yes you should. Why are you now arguing with those of us who agree with you?

So if her age is irrelevant and it's no different from arguing with a person of any age, why were you concerned about your DC seeing your 'arguing with an old woman' rather than simply seeing you arguing? It was you who framed the altercation as particularly bad given the age of the person you were having a go at. Why do you think its worse because she was old? Why would your DC?

She was very rude and used her age as an excuse so YANBU.
Some of the follow up posts implying all older women are rude are ageist because they generalise.
This particular woman was rude and it was worth pointing it out to her.
I'm 72. I feel the same inside as I always have. I do wonder sometimes how I'm perceived. Don't suppose it matters really. I know that I am generally polite, not right wing take everyone as I find them etc.

True that she was pushing in, but did it really matter that you went up a couple of floors before going down? It would only take an extra minute or two. Maybe you were both making too much of who got their needs met first.

Or you argue - after you - no you first etc -

Yes. Lift etiquette is you ask the other person where they are going and press for them/ let them choose first.

Alwayssomethingtheretoremindme
You’re getting a bit boring now. The op was telling us she went into an M and S and an older women was rude. She never said all older folk! She wasn’t stereotyping older people, she was telling us about the scene in the shop. If it was a middle aged person, she would say middle aged.

The woman didn't use her age to excuse her being rude. She told you you'd understand when you got to her age. You have chosen to interpret that as meaning you will understand why old people are rude when you get old. But it could also have meant you'll understand why I want to get to my floor/my car/home/off my feet as quickly as possible when you get to my age, could it not? In fact I'd say that's more likely as very few people when told they're rude and liars respond by agreeing with you, with or without their age as an excuse.

She sounds like a rude entitled knob. 17 or 70, you don't behave like that. Well done for calling her out, OP!

The woman used her age as an excuse for her behaviour. It wasn't bigotry, it was a description of her to provide context.

You'll see from the opening line of my post that my remarks referenced a later poster. I read your OP and I was aware that the rude woman in question had used her age as an excuse. Rude selfish people will use anything as an excuse, it does not mean that her age caused her rudeness, which was what a later poster (the one I quoted) implied. It only means that she was a rude person who happens coincidentally to be old.