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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour cheating on husband AND being awful. Is revenge ever worth it?

39 replies

CornishIrish · 20/10/2024 21:03

So, this is really a general Sunday night WWYD question.

We have neighbours behind us who own a field. Since they moved in to our little otherwise chilled out village they have been total nightmares. Knocking out our phone lines right before Christmas last year and causing general hassle.

Just in the last few days our lovely but not super attentive, gardener cut into a bit of the boundary hedge. We said we would replace it but they have since sent a super threatening letter saying they will take us to court if we haven’t made good the hedge in 30 days. Poor gardener is so upset. The hedge looks over absolutely nothing. A bit of grass. They’d have to go out of their way to see it.

Anyway, I recently saw her out in the forest near us with a fella who wasn’t her husband and they were being super, er, friendly with each other. Apparently they have been seen on other occasions too.

So, to finally get to the AIBU bit… Have you ever taken petty revenge i.e. grassed up a cheater for your own nefarious reasons and how did it work out and is petty revenge ever justified?

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Halvey · 25/10/2024 11:06

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Dinkydo12 · 24/10/2024 09:57

Just replace their hedge that was damaged. Then stop carping about it. As it's their hedge when it next needs trimming send them a super threatening letter telling them unless they get it trimmed within so many days you will charge them for having to do it. Lol.

2Sensitive · 24/10/2024 00:20

Littlesandjoolz · 23/10/2024 23:48

So knocking the phone lines is a hassle but doing the same to their hedge is fine? I dont approve of cheating, but this is peoples lives and you benefitting from a destroyed marriage is pretty low. You don't sound that nice a person or neighbour.

Is the wife destroying her own marriage!
No one else

Littlesandjoolz · 23/10/2024 23:48

So knocking the phone lines is a hassle but doing the same to their hedge is fine? I dont approve of cheating, but this is peoples lives and you benefitting from a destroyed marriage is pretty low. You don't sound that nice a person or neighbour.

Cocomelon112233 · 23/10/2024 19:54

I’d knock while he was out but she was in and say that hedge doesn’t look too bad I thought the view in the forest was more interesting? Something along those lines?
or a creepy, leave the hedge be or I’ll reveal your secrets note with news paper clippings…

ALEXOXO · 23/10/2024 19:53

I would say mind your own business and fix their hedge. Your neighbours' private lives are nunya. Don't be a busy body.

DoggingDave · 23/10/2024 19:22

Reply to the letter saying the hedge isn't the only bush of theirs that somone else is beating.

Builtforspeednotcomfort · 23/10/2024 19:21

CornishIrish · 20/10/2024 21:03

So, this is really a general Sunday night WWYD question.

We have neighbours behind us who own a field. Since they moved in to our little otherwise chilled out village they have been total nightmares. Knocking out our phone lines right before Christmas last year and causing general hassle.

Just in the last few days our lovely but not super attentive, gardener cut into a bit of the boundary hedge. We said we would replace it but they have since sent a super threatening letter saying they will take us to court if we haven’t made good the hedge in 30 days. Poor gardener is so upset. The hedge looks over absolutely nothing. A bit of grass. They’d have to go out of their way to see it.

Anyway, I recently saw her out in the forest near us with a fella who wasn’t her husband and they were being super, er, friendly with each other. Apparently they have been seen on other occasions too.

So, to finally get to the AIBU bit… Have you ever taken petty revenge i.e. grassed up a cheater for your own nefarious reasons and how did it work out and is petty revenge ever justified?

Generally, I'd say no. However, after thinking about my own nightmare couple next door, I mean these arrogant tossers have pushed me to the limit on many occasions. Somehow, I have managed not to go into full rage mode So yeah, do it. I would knock on his door and tell him to his face,' I thought you should know L has been cheating on you.. I caught the dirty slapper in the act!' So I'll guess you'll be leaving then.? Then I'd probably burst out laughing. Yeah, it's mean, but so are they!

Jennaxoxox · 23/10/2024 19:03

You are being unreasonable, but, I'm here for it 🤣🤣 it is 100% deserved anyway. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes 🤣🤣 take photos if you see her again 🥳✌️

GiveMeSpanakopita · 23/10/2024 15:18

I wouldn't, purely on the basis that one should avoid enmeshment with unpleasant people as much as possible

Noshowlomo · 23/10/2024 15:17

I would. I love dramz
They sound like a pair of fuckers

ForPearlViper · 23/10/2024 15:09

Twointhehand1 · 23/10/2024 08:54

I prefer Karma to revenge. Let it play out.

You never know. She may be the long suffering wife and he may be the nightmare.

Agree. However tempting it is don't do it. Let Karma take it's course and don't screw up your own Karma!

It is a shame you are not on speaking terms though. I don't think Karma would have minded if you innocently let it be known you were in the woods at that time....

Nothatgingerpirate · 23/10/2024 11:06

Edingril · 20/10/2024 21:07

No because I am not a child, I would be more worried about myself if it did make me feel better

This.
Leave it alone.

Twointhehand1 · 23/10/2024 08:54

I prefer Karma to revenge. Let it play out.

You never know. She may be the long suffering wife and he may be the nightmare.

Welshmonster · 23/10/2024 07:45

Did you sue them for cutting phone line? I would send a strongly worded letter back saying that you counter sue

AChickenPooAndABiscuit · 21/10/2024 07:22

CornishIrish · 20/10/2024 22:17

Wiltshire/Somerset borders. It’s usually just quiet 😆 The odd escaped chicken or teenagers with a few too many ciders.

Hmm I'm not really into revenge - I'm more the 'karma will do its work eventually' kinda person. However... in this case, I'd agree with others saying go for it.

As an aside, I totally read that sentence as 'the odd escaped chicken drinking a few too many ciders.' Time for another cuppa to wake up properly, I think! 😂

Wellingtonspie · 21/10/2024 06:54

I wouldn’t. Because the odds of it splitting them are not high over a slurpy snog with no evidence.

More like turn them against you even more as the common enemy.

What would you say.

Yeah mr annoying neighbour who we have issues with, I saw your wife snogging a guy in the wood.

Leopardprintlover101 · 21/10/2024 06:43

I would fix the hedge and then tell!

They’ll go bananas.

TheDuck2018 · 21/10/2024 05:49

therewasafishinthepercolator · 20/10/2024 23:00

@TheDuck2018
Rivals is on Disney. I've just lost my weekend to it. Great stuff.

Great, thankyou ☺️

therewasafishinthepercolator · 20/10/2024 23:00

@TheDuck2018
Rivals is on Disney. I've just lost my weekend to it. Great stuff.

Noseybookworm · 20/10/2024 22:39

I'm not against a bit of petty revenge per se but you have to live very near these people. Is it worth ramping up the falling out? Yes they were petty about the hedge but your gardener was at fault at the end of the day. Also you have no idea if they have some sort of open relationship? I wouldn't get involved.

TheDuck2018 · 20/10/2024 22:30

Absolutely yes I would!
As an aside, where can I find Rivals, didn't realise it had started yet!!

PattiSmithsPattis · 20/10/2024 22:26

Next time you pass her be sure to be singing Teddy Bears picnic as you pass, with a knowing smile and 😉

CornishIrish · 20/10/2024 22:17

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 20/10/2024 22:08

It's all very Rivals.

Do you live in the Cotswolds OP Hmm

Wiltshire/Somerset borders. It’s usually just quiet 😆 The odd escaped chicken or teenagers with a few too many ciders.

OP posts: