To think 25 is too late to find the LOML

I thought the same.

I'm 25 and I've never had a relationship. I live at home, because I don't earn enough to rent or buy. I'm in a training role and I'll be closer to 27 by the time I qualify.

I feel like a failure all the time. I'm also overweight and ugly so it feels like I'm failing on all fronts

"High value man". "Femcel".

Andrew, are you okay?

You are hitting a lot of talking points for incel/red pill men. This is interesting.

No, 25 is not too old for a anyone to find someone. Neither is 35, or 45, or 75.

I think you also need to step away from whatever forum or podcast is feeding you this "high value" BS.

Also there is no such thing as one magical person in the whole world. We have many matches and just happen to find one that sticks so we end up feeling like they are "it".

Blimey! Stop dating op and work on being happy with yourself

I'm glad you at least decided to come and seek out some sanity in this situation. 25 is not too old for anything! My biggest bit of advice though is to set your sights a bit higher. If you are at least moderately attractive and well educated, as you say, please stop even regarding all the Jeremy Kyle Show wannabe guests you're talking about. You can date at least a couple of rungs up the ladder in attractiveness. Only show interest in good looking men who float your boat and stop even thinking about what the knuckledraggers think!!

Shallow people almost always end up alone.

Your post is very shallow.

If you want it to change you have to change yourself and your view points... love is not a check list.

If he'd truly loved you, he'd not have moved away.

If you'd truly loved him, you'd have gone with him.

You're looking back with rose-tinted glasses and remembering a lie.

“…my neediness and fragility in relationships but it seems to always bubble to the surface despite how hard I try to mask it.”

Trust me, this is the big neon sign above your head that puts men off. All the other ‘friends, good job, Oxford’ bollocks means zip. Forget ‘high value’ judgemental crap too.

Take it from me (…unattractive, no friends, poor as shit, crap job and scumbag university educated) - I’ve known and been loved by lots of lovely gentle men and married a great one - the secret is to be yourself and be happy with yourself. Be kind to yourself and others. Nothing more attractive.

This is an incredibly weird post.

Why are you using weird incel language?

25 is SO young. In career terms it can feel like you're behind at that age, but most people now don't settle down and get married till much older. Presumably you know this.

If he was "psychotically crazily madly in love" with you, but then he moved to Australia and didn't ask you to go with him? Ok.

Either way, he's moved on and he's happy. It's nothing to do with him now. Why are you even dating these other supposedly awful men? You're horrible about them. Really nasty. Would it kill you to just be single for a while till you learn to be happy with yourself and let this poisonous jealousy go?

I honestly cannot get over how peculiar this post is.

Do you have friends, a social life, a job you enjoy? Your 20’s are for fun not wallowing in pity over ‘high value’ men and lost love

😐 love yourself, forget men!!

Tell me the story of how you met Mr High Value though

Mate, the only person 'delighting in your misery' here is YOU. When did all this happen, if he's had time to move to Australia and get married 'a few years later'? You must have been barely out of university.

Do you honestly think that everyone you see over the age of 25 is somehow settling?

The vast majority of people haven't found their life partner by 25. Many haven't even had their first serious relationship.

It sounds like you're still affected by your breakup.

In your other active thread you are complaining about being dumped by a 21 year old bartender after you spent £2k to take him on holiday.

I think you need therapy.

Hahaha no.

I felt the same as you. Broke up from a loving relationship at 25, it was hard as we wanted different things.

Met now husband at 29, moved in at 30, got engaged at 32, married at 32.

I wasn’t even looking or wanting a relationship.

Focus on enriching your life with the things you enjoy, and getting your life in order (if not already). It will happen when you least expect.

one high value man in my entire life who became absolutely psychotically crazily madly in love with me

Men who are crazy mad in love don't move to Australia, forget about you, and marry someone else. You need to work on your hyperbole and get some decent therapy. Your values seem warped.

I think you just proved your brain doesn't fully mature until your mid to late 20s OP.

Chill your boots, there is plenty of time to comply to society's expectations of you.

Focus on your career and financial independence in the meantime.

Goodness me OP, you need to relax a bit. Life really isn’t all about finding a “high value” bloke and you sound pretty immature to describe them in that way anyway.

Why don’t you focus on work, family and friendships and it’ll probably be good for you to get a couple of hobbies. Enjoy being in your 20’s and all the freedom that brings. In my experience guys are drawn to confident women who are smart, fun and don’t make the man the center of their universe.

There's the value that you think you bring to a man, and then there's what men actually look for. You can be the smartest Oxford professor out there, and have all the friends in the world, but that doesn't make an attractive wife.

To use your own words, "high value" attracts "high value."

Ego, self-esteem, pride, these are all great things, but every woman and their aunt is being told they're special, deserve the best, never settle, etc. You listed a loooong list of things he has to have to be worthy of you, but sadly, it goes both ways. I'd reevaluate what you bring to the men, because if you're only attracting low value men...

Useful.

Thank you.

Explains a lot

I met my DH at 28, he was 30. We married the following year and are still together 29 years later. You still have plenty of time.

Sadly you felt he was the love of your life and he may have been perfect in many ways, but life gets in the way/maybe things weren't quite right for him in the relationship.

I understand some of the elements you don't like about least 'desirable men', but none of us are perfect and it sounds like you have high expectations and maybe some of them know you're not really into them as maybe they're shorter than your ideal, not obviously the most handsome person. It's not ideal, but someone has to do the minimum wage jobs and good on them as they're working.

OP your 25

focus on enjoying life and not finding a man. jeeeeeez

25? OP, you are past it.

A life with cats beckons.

If he really was ''the love of your life'', no way would he have fucked off to OZ and met another woman.

Love finds a way.

He'd have asked you to go with him, or stayed in Blighty.